| Hi at HITTITE 1 I ane New Revolutions by Jerry Morrell What’s the matter with kids today? Kids today —. aside, obvi- ously, from those who think of themselves as “with-it” beyond words, and have the Brian Jones hairdos and paisley sportswear to prove it — generally think of the 60’s as a time when their par- ents dressed like clowns, babbled foolish slogans, and thought they were doing their part to make the world a better place by getting high and dancing like spastics to unspeakably lame Grateful Dead jams. Today’s Young Person, on the Tidbit Don’t you remember when we were. adolescents and where we hung around. It was places like ‘the hole’ and ‘the hollow’. I said that I couldn’t remember. “Well, anyways,” Hesbin said. “The Pit sounds like an adoles- cent hangout. It sounds like we’re sunk inside something, like a slump, or a rut.” Metaphorically speaking, he was right. I didn’t say this to him because I knew that if he was that I agreed, he probably would have went out and tried to change the name or something. 5 “Don’t you see,” As Hesbin spoke I began writing a few notes. “we’re not adolescents anymore. We’re on one of the most im- portant stages of our life. We shouldn’t have to hang out in a place called The Pit. It sounds like we’re underground or some- thing.” Technically speaking, The Pit is underground. I didn’t say this to Hesbin though. I just let him keep talking. . “But we’re far from that. We’re at the pinnacle of our ed- ucation.” I made a note of that. “It’s so disgusting! We’re not crawling out of a pit, we’re jump- ing off something, like the ‘tip’. Yes,” As Hesbin spoke I noticed that his whole body started shak- other hand is likely to be a “head- banger” (a term which explains why the music sounds like it was created by someone who’s received one-too—many concus- sions) — he’ll dress like ‘a thug and devote his life to being per- ceived as a public menace; or he’ll be a “preppie” — in which case he’ll lust unashamably after an MBA (or it poor country cousin, the BBA) and expensive German automobiles, Gucci accessories, - and Rolex wristwatches. In other words the choice is between mind- less cynicism on one hand and mindless greed on the other. Some choice. In comparison versed and called The Tip!” Once I saw that glare in his eyes I knew that he wasn’t all there. I couldn’t let him go any further. “Hesbin,” I said “you’re really strange.” : All at once he started foam- ing at the mouth and, in his rage, he leaped towards me screaming from the tips of his lungs. “How would you know’?!!! You’ve never ever been there?!!!” Then he seized me by the col- lar and when he started punch- ing me in my stomach, I screamed back at him. “Hesbin!!! bin!!!” Hesbin!!! Hes- situation, she iecansea at Hes- bin. “Hesbin!!! You.....” Then he jumped at her and started punching her in the stom- ach. “Wunastop!!! my father. Immediately my father came flying into my room and, as all fa- thers do, he maintained order.” Well, that’s the end of my ‘story. I hope you liked it. i} iD A to either, I submit, the peace— *n’-love ethos of the 60’s seems infinitely preferable. Never mind that the level of mindlessness among the audience at Wood- stock must surely have been the equal of that at, say, 1983’s US Festival. _ Never mind because it’s intunsically preferable that a Young Person take on the faith that it’s uncool not to be gentle and altruistic than to believe that he’s got to party hard to show ev- eryone that he’s every bit the bad SOB they are. Give me a kid in a poncho and love beads getting off on pot before a kid in a motor- cycle jacket bought at Zellers and a WASP “We Hate Women” T- shirt getting off on crack or Jack Daniels any old time. 4, t? 4, 4, ®, 4 « o/ o/ i bum, but unless you’re a fanatic Review ... (note: five stars = excellent, no star = dreadful) Prince — LoveSezy (Paisley Park / Warner Bros.) Have you seen the jacket for this album? Does Prince shave his legs? Is that flower bud a phallic symbol? Could you pic- ture Springsteen posing nude on one of his album jackets? If the jacket appears promis- ing, recall Around the World in a Day, the dumbest album by a major artist since Dylan’s born— again period. Admittedly, the rhythms on LoveSezy are noth- ing short of ingenius, light-years beyond Sign o’ the Times; and Prince’s obvious affinity with the ' Miles Davis and Sly and the Fam- ily Stone certainly works for me. But: the lyrics, well, you can’t get much worse than “Sun is risen, moon is gone / Soda fizzen on the lawn.” Prince’s strength has never been his profundity (though he’s written some dandy lines), but the lyrics on this al- bum areS TO OPID! And, unlike a few previous efforts, the music is not quite good enough for me to ignore this fact. Look, forget this album. If you’re interested in Prince start with Purple Rain or 1999 and then Sign o’ the Times; and after you’ve dug up his masterpieces, Dirty Mind, try Parade or Con- troversy. LoveSezy is a good al- Starring: Richard Dreyfuss Raul Julia Soma Braga ACRE EEBEER REE Ee Moon Over Parador logon Aooooor Paul Mazursky (Down and Out in Beverly Hills) has done it again. We have another silly movie, this one a film about act- ing. A New York actor, Richard Dreyfuss, a persuaded into im- personating the late dictator @f Parador. The ‘chief of police, sauve Raul Julia, threatens to kill Dreyfuss if he doesn’t do as he is told. Like all actors, the thrill of the audience’s cheers urges him onto more, as does his success in the bedroom with the dictator’s mistress, gorgeous Sonia Braga. When a bomb goes off, Dreyfuss is quickly pulled back to reality. Remember Charo? She can still do the goochy-goochy and Jonathan Winters makes a satir- ical CIA operative. Lunacy? Well, let’s call it a daffy delight! I rate this one a B- HFNnNBA NA MOK OF VAMAHN QNmMQOHDAMVUA rH VUHermMN OMArwnmHi QHwsIramtmmarwxwsd FOWAMrH OrwmMnxaAawurya Ar VUAMUN SFWHNAHOOrTNnA TY QHA STS VHP RY HNWADWH AA VQGMHPFPOANNKFPNOH MPH YD acetone analytical beaker buchner buret carbon chemistry cuvette desicator Chemmigram for the puzzling mind dropper extran fumehood funnel gas laboratory labs liquid organic FPoQaowWwonda ReKPervHwownrwawor ASrPaAmMrroewmwrramvHAomuw FRrMAHAQDWHAMHAHNMaArnm YRPMGSCMawHQH DWH OH Maw HDWWQOMNnNMNAX NHS ZSBaGOaar wy "Oro ht Sr ms mn ct a oO Ao ArFrnvovIH NA Dem Byam Ss bp ZHOCHHHOAQHAHH OA MaAres CA VRraorwvyem Ha wWrermy se NOMrFPA MDH KTH DO GCHUDWZzAQ phenolphthalein physical pipette sigfig solid spectroscopy stirrer testtube thermometer ing. “ the name should be re- of my life. you'll be disappointed. a distillery panbalance watchglass =SThursday, September 29, 1988 Pasa 18 = eee : Se ee