Conservative Correctiveness The Journal of Hard Response By Rack Jite ANYONE USING THE TERM POLITICALLY incorrect to define the prejudice, bigotry, sex- ism, racism and selfish callous disregard so many real Americans delight in expressing every time they open their mouths, should be taken by the back of their pointy littleheads and have their noses shoved in big stinky piles of doggy doo until they promise to never use the words again. Not only is the term a gross understatement and a seriously inadequate re- sponse to the root cause of most of the hate and pain permeating the human condition, but it is also totally erroneous as a definition. Political incorrectness is not about prejudice and big- otry, but rather just what the words mean. The President of the United States is elected for life to sell--chili dogs from a street cart in Oshkosh, Wisconsin. That ispolitically incorrect. Newt Gingrich is a Hollywood liberal who ghost writes all the Prince albums. That too is politically correct. Those are state- ments which are incorrect in a political con- text, ie, politically incorrect. So why use the term to define intolerance and bigotry when it is about neither? Dan Quayle aside, the use of this term has been the predominate running joke in America over the past few years. Let’s smarten up and start telling the truth about these people. When these conservanazis ramble on about the NAACP being more racist than the KKK, or that Affirmative Action is racism, or that Blacks are more racist than Whites and get all the goodies, look them in the eye and say, ‘*Wow, whatan ignorant racist your are.’” When they talk about women belonging in the home cooking and praying with the kids say, ““Boy, what a sexist pig you are.”” When they rant and rave about how much they hate Gays say, “*Gee, what a mind- less little bigot you are.’” And when they do their endless screeching about their tax money ee **Gosh, what a selfish little weanie you ree There are literally thousands of creative definitions to put on these people that are far more truthful, correct, fun and meaningful than calling them politically incorrect. Using that term accomplishes nothing but giving them the opportunity and satisfaction of mak- jing their absurd claims that you are a fascist Nazi worse than Hilter.One more thing. When- lever these conservatives take issue with any- thing you say, apologize loudly and repeatedly |to them for being CONSERVATIVELY IN- CORRECT. Send inquiries and threats to: Rack Jite Editor/Publisher IHARD RESPONSE (The Journal of) P.O. Box 845 Seabrook, TX 77586 For more info finger jite@blkbox.com *Editor’s note: We have printed this with the jauthor’s permission from internet. The author would appreciate any comments. Simply send them to the e-mail or postal address above or to ¢ X-Press and we’ll pass them on. SPORTS Back to work for UPEI athletes A quick look at the world of sports By Scott MacDonald THE BALL(S) ARE ROLLING ONCE AGAIN around the various fields, courts, and rinks for student athletes at UPEI. The fall sports teams (soccer and field hockey) have had their try- outs and have been practicing since the begin- ning of the month, while the basketball, vol- leyball, and hockey teams are starting their dry land training this week. They aren’ tallowed to hit the floor until October 1. The following is a brief look at what the Panthers have to offer in the AUAA in assorted sports this season. The field hockey team is still currently looking for a new coach with the absence of Florrie Bradley, but the team is being put through their paces by former Panther standouts Patricia Sheildsand Jennifer Gillan. The team lost All-Canadian Kathy McNally and team MVP Krista Munroe from last season but return with talented veterans Alana Gillan, Lori Creed, Anne Mamye, Tracey McGee and Susan Somerville. The women’s soccer program, currently going through tryouts, is once again led by the wisdom of Vince Mulligan, and the highly competitive core of last season’s squad re- turns. The only losses were keeper Alanna Taylor to graduation, and forward Maria- Claude Savaria who transferred to McGill. Tryout camp saw 20 going out for the team including experienced All-conference Dianne Stevenson, last years’ MVP Stella Teoli, Sara Driscoll, Jodi Dixon, Shawna Garrett, and Angela Power. The men’s soccer team is under the tuteledge of new coach Bruce Norton, and he has lots of talent to choose from this year as 33 players showed up to try out. Last season’s do-everything player Adrian Tompkins is back, as well as Dave Thomson, Dylan Mullally, David McMillian, JeffThomspson, Deenesh Sajaphal and the speedy Jason MacDonald. The only losses from last year’s edition of the squad were Darren Ford, The fall sports teams have had their tryouts and have been practicing since the beginning of the month Glen Flood, and Wade Peardon. Joe Ryan’s women’s volleyball team is ready to begin tryouts in the next few weeks. The team appears to have a strong returning nucleus featuring Janice Burns, Kathy Lamey, Tish Rose, Theresa Trainor and first year player Rachel Larivee. Tracey MacEachern sees her women’s basketball team everyone returning from last year, to go along with a strong recruiting class. The Lady Panthers one-year hiatus from the playoffs looks to be over as returnees Hillary Watson, Kathy Quinn, Julie Dickinson, and Kara Saunders get ready to hit the court again; as well as recruit Jennifer Johnson who played her high school ball at Colonel Gray and Montague. George Morrison’s basketball team has seen major losses with five players leav- ing the team, including third-year forward Brian McLennon who had to leave the team for the first semester due to family reasons. Veterans Curtis Robinson, Craig Walker, Peter Lawlor, and Kevin Mitchell hope to return to the form which made them AUAA finalists last year. Freshmen Mike Moore from Toronto, and Charlottetown products Steve Lawlor and Dave Mullally will be expected to produce immediately. The hockey team returns with virtu- ally their entire roster, as well as having several heralded recruits with experience in the OHL. Chief among the newcomers is Mike Harding who is the all-time leading scorer for the Peterborough Petes, and played last year with the OHL’s Junior Red Wings. Other new faces include goalie Monte Em- ery, and Forwards Calvin Chaisson and Clarke Trolley. Bill McMillian’s team saw some injuries and close losses cost them a chance at being one of the top teams in their division of the AUAA. The core of the team is back with scoring sniper and ‘93 Panther MVPK.J. White returning to lead the P’s on the ice. Other seasoned players back include John Nelson, Jason Denomme, Mike Tilley, Brian Grouchy, Jim Somnez and Glen Craig. The sidelines on sports A look at UPEI intramurals WITH SCHOOL GETTING BACK INTO THE swing of things, getting in shape at the Sports Center is one way to eliminate all of those class related stresses. Fitness classes are one sure way to burn off those calories and get your body as sharp as your mind is. The Sports Center offers Noon Fitness at 12:05-12:35 every Mon- day to Friday, and also has Step Classes on Mon/Wed from 5:00-6:00, and Aerobic In- struction from 5:00-6:00 on Tues/Thurs. The Labatts Tennis Tournament is go- ing on at the Fieldhouse Saturday September 18. Registration deadline is noon on Septem- ber 17, with games beginning at 10:00 on the 18th. It’s open to all students, staff, and faculty with prizes for the winners. To register drop off your name and phone number at the front desk of the Sports Center or call Ron Annear at 566-0715. There is also a golf tournament being held at Green Gables on Friday September 17, with an 8:30 AM tee-off. There will be either a best ball or handicap format, and there will be special off-season rates (or even lower) for all student participants. Any one requiring transpor- tation can inquire while registering. For informa- tion call Ron Annear at 566-0715. Intramural Info: Tennis tournament Saturday Sept. 18 beginning at 10 a.m. Deadline for sign-up is Friday , Sept 17 at 12:00 noon. Golf tourney Friday Sept 17, tee off at 8:30 a.m. It will be held at Green Gables, and the fee will be off-season rates (possibly lower). Register at Sports Center front desk. For more infromation on either of these events, contact Ron Annear 566-0715 | september 13, 1994 page 7 . ————- UsgEg eet ct rodniago4 oe oe