SEPTEMBER
      22,
      2006
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OPINION
      &
      CO
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Where
      in
      the
      world
      is
      Kristi
      Kelly...?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Kristi
      Kelly
     
     
      Contributor
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      DISCLAIMER:
      Hey
      folks.
      Just
      a
     
     
      heads
      up,
      anyone
      who
      has
      heard
     
     
      anything
      about
      Amsterdam
      knows
      that
     
     
      it
      can
      be
      a
      tad
      “untraditional”
      in
      every
     
     
      sense
      of
      the
      word.
      Though
      I
      am
      going
     
     
      to
      attempt
      to
      tastefully
      present
      this
     
     
      information,
      I
      am
      by
      no
      means
      trying
     
     
      to
      offend
      anyone
      nor
      am
      I
      showing
     
     
      support
      or
      criticism
      of
      how
      segments
     
     
      of
      this
      culture
      functions.
      As
      a
      traveler,
     
     
      respect
      is
      the
      first
      and
      foremost
      rule,
     
     
      and
      who
      are
      we
      to
      judge?
      I
      am
     
     
      expressing
      the
      honest
      opinion
      of
      my
     
     
      experience
      in
      such
      a
      city
      and
      please
     
     
      read
      out
      of
      enjoyment
      rather
      than
     
     
      criticism.
      Thank
      you.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Wooden
      shoes,
      tulips,
      windmills
     
     
      and
      frites
      (french
      fries
      loaded
      in
      mayo)
     
     
      all
      are
      signature
      icons
      of
      this
      great
     
     
      country,
      the
      Dutch
     
     
      themselves.
      However,
      Amsterdam,
      its
     
     
      major
      city,
      proves
      to
      be
      just
      a
      little
      bit
     
     
      different.
      I
      knew
      what
      to
      expect,
      but
     
     
      let’s
      just
      say,
      it
      blew
      any
      expectation
      I
     
     
      had
      out
      of
      the
      water.
     
    

    
     
      Amsterdam,
      Amsterdam,
     
     
      Amsterdam,
      no
      one
      can
      truly
      prepare
     
     
      you
      for
      this
      wildly
      amazing
      city.
      You
     
     
      hear
      the
      stories,
      the
      adventures
      and
     
     
      the
      tales,
      but
      only
      until
      you
      actually
     
     
      step
      foot
      into
      this
      surreal
      world
      of
     
     
      sights
      and
      sounds
      (and
      smells)
      does
      it
     
     
      all
      actually
      come
      together.
      There
      is
     
     
      truly
      no
      other
      city
      in
      this
      world
      quite
     
     
      like
      Amsterdam.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      as
      well
      as
     
    
   
   
    
     
      After
      stepping
      out
      of
      the
      train
     
     
      station,
      flocks
      of
      other
      curious
      tourists
     
     
      in
      tow,
      we
      slowly
      made
      our
      way
      to
      the
     
     
      bustling
      main
      street
      of
      Amsterdam
     
     
      central.
      Eyes
      wide
      and
      searching
      for
     
     
      any
      sign
      of
      abnormality,
      I
      hold
      tight
     
     
      to
      my
      backpack,
      and
      for
      the
      fifth
      time,
     
     
      I
      check
      my
      directions
      on
      how
      to
      get
     
     
      to
      the
      “Flying
      Pig”,
      one
      of
      the
      famous
     
     
      backpacker
      hostels
      in
      the
      city.
      Other
     
     
      than
      just
      passing
      the
      largest
      sex
     
     
      museum
      in
      the
      world,
      things
      were
     
     
      looking
      fairly
      typical.
      There
      was
     
     
      McDonald’s,
      typical
      infrastructure,
      gift
     
     
      shops,
      tour
      buses,
      and
      other
      than
      the
     
     
      millions
      of
      bicycles
      whizzing
      around
     
     
      and
      the
      beautiful
      waterway
      channels
     
     
      running
      through
      the
      city,
      there
      was
     
     
      really
      nothing
      that
      I
      hadn’t
      seen
      before,
     
     
      right?
      Ummm,
      yeah,
      then
      I
      turned
      off
     
     
      main
      street.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      After
      stumbling
      into
      the
      mass
      of
     
     
      intertwining
      narrow
      alleyways
      in
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      city,
      1
      suddenly
      felt
      my
      perspective
     
     
      slowly
      change.
      Photos
      and
      shop
     
     
      windows
      have
      changed
      from
      the
     
     
      innocent
      sell
      stamps”
      to
     
     
      something
      a
      tad
      more
      wildly
     
     
      provocative
      and
      entertaining.
      Vivid
     
     
      displays
      and
      promises
      are
      widely
     
     
      advertised,
      while
      the
      people
      and
     
     
      settings
      seemed
      to
      get
      more
      and
      more
     
     
      astonishing.
      It
      was
      at
      this
      moment,
     
     
      while
      standing
      giggling
      in
      disbelief
      in
     
     
      front
      of
      this
      very
      store
      window
      that
      I
     
     
      realize
      “holy
      f*ck”,
      Iam
      SO
      not
      in
      PEI
     
     
      right
      now.”
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “we
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Blunt,
      straightforward
      and
     
     
      unashamed,
      Amsterdam
      is
      an
     
     
      experience
      I
      will
      never
      ever
      forget.
     
     
      What
      a
      way
      to
      start
      my
      European
     
     
      adventure.
      Marijuana,
      hash
      and
     
     
      prostitution
      are
      all
      legal
      here.
      Students
     
     
      and
      adults
      alike
      flock
      here
      from
      all
     
     
      over
      the
      world
      to
      experience
      what
      this
     
     
      wild
      city
      has
      to
      show
      off.
      Now
      that
      is
     
     
      not
      all
      there
      is
      to
      offer.
      As
      ironic
      as
     
     
      this
      sounds,
      Amsterdam
      is
      also
      home
     
     
      to
      some
      of
      the
      most
      renowned
     
     
      museums
      in
      the
      world
      such
      as
      Anne
     
     
      Frank’s
      house,
      Rembrandt
      House
     
     
      Museum,
      Van
      Gogh
      Museum,
      the
     
     
      Rijksmuesum,
      and
      of
      course,
      the
     
     
      Heineken
      Experience
      Museum,
      which
     
     
      yes,
      the
      museums
      were
      exactly
      why
      I
     
     
      came
      to
      Amsterdam.
      (cough)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      What
      happens
      in
      Amsterdam,
     
     
      stays
      in
      Amsterdam
      but
      I
      will
      fill
      you
     
     
      in
      a
      few
      points
      of
      notice
     
    
   
   
    
     
      used
      that
      word).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      COFFEE
      SHOPS:
     
    

    
     
      No,
      they
      don’t
      sell
      coffee
      unless
     
     
      it
      is
      a
      very
      “special
      kind”
      and
      the
     
     
      atmosphere
      is
      like
      nothing
      you
      have
     
     
      ever
      seen.
      Inside
      is
      dimly
      lit,
      filled
      with
     
     
      purple
      billowing
      clouds
      of
      smoke
      that
     
     
      just
      seem
      to
      tumble
      along.
      The
      strong
     
     
      smell
      of
      marijuana
      is
      unmistakable,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      HNTARY
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      CADRE
      @
      4
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Photo:
      Kristi
      Kelly
     
     
      Kristi
      Kelly
      measures
      up
      to
      a
      stack
      of
      cheese
      wheels
      in
      Amsterdam.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      and
      upon
      entrance
      you
      are
      presented
     
     
      with
      the
      menu
      -
      would
      you
      have
      a
      taste
     
     
      for
      anything?
      The
      crowd
      is
      calm,
      laid
     
     
      back
      and
      overall,
      the
      place
      is
      pretty
     
     
      quiet
      (sauf
      the
      occasional
      giggling
      you
     
     
      may
      encounter).
      Bulldog
      Coffee
      Shops
     
     
      are
      everywhere
      -
      and
      baby,
      all
      I
      have
     
     
      to
      say
      is
      that
      they
      must
      make
      a
      fortune.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      REDLIGHT
      DISTRICT:
     
    

    
     
      Yes,
      yes,
      yes...
      I
      went,
      I
      went.
      I
     
     
      was
      curious!
      In
      the
      daytime
      it
      was
      kind
     
     
      of
      eerie,
      but
      in
      the
      nighttime,
      it
      was
     
     
      shocking
      -
      no,
      lemmie
      rephrase
      that...
     
     
      it
      was
      jaw-dropping.
      Imagine
      this...
      it’s
     
     
      midnight,
      you
      are
      walking
      down
      a
     
     
      bustling
      avenue,
      lit
      to
      a
      red
      glow
      from
     
     
      the
      hundreds
      of
      red
      lights
      within.
      To
     
     
      both
      your
      left
      and
      your
      right
      all
      you
     
     
      are
      confronted
      with
      is
      pumping
      music,
     
     
      neon
      colored
      sex
      shops,
      heavily
     
     
      advertised
      sex
      shows,
      flamboyantly
     
     
      skilled
      strip
      shows
      -
      and
      the
      most
     
     
      mind-boggling
      of
      all
      -
      women,
      in
     
     
      lifesize
      windows
      (dressed
      in
      their
     
     
      sexiest,
      if
      dressed
      at
      all),
      trying
      to
      sell
     
     
      themselves
      to
      the
      on-lookers.
      If
      it
     
     
      wasn’t
      for
      the
      thousands
      of
      tourist
     
     
      around,
      I
      would
      have
      run
      for
      dear
      life.
     
     
      On
      an
      interesting
      note...
      apparently
     
     
      something
      like
      40%
      of
      these
      women
     
     
      are
      actually
      men....
      hmmmm.?
     
     
      Anyways,
      you
      have
      to
      see
      it
      to
      believe
     
     
      it,
      and
      though
      I
      wouldn’t
      go
      back
      (it’s
     
     
      more
      of
      a
      once
      in
      a
      life
      time
      thing)
      -
      I
     
     
      was
      flabbergasted
      (and
      yes,
      I
      actually
     
     
      used
      that
      word).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      MUSEUMS
      and
      the
      CITY:
     
     
      The
      city
      itself
      is
      lined
      with
      tons
     
    
   
   
    
     
      of
      canals
      and
      waterways
      and
      was
     
     
      relatively
      pretty.
      As
      far
      as
     
     
      accommodation
      goes,
      we
      lucked
      out.
     
     
      Both
      our
      hostels,
      the
      “Flying
      Pig”
      and
     
     
      the
      “Passenger
      Boat
      Maria
      Alberta”
     
     
      (yes,
      a
      boat
      house),
      were
      great
      places
     
     
      to
      stay
      -
      for
      cheap!
      As
      for
      the
      nightlife?
     
     
      Amazing!
      “Escape”
      was
      the
      place
      to
     
     
      go
      -
      and
      after
      paying
      the
      17
      euros
      to
     
     
      get
      in,
      I
      wanted
      a
      damn
      good
      return
     
     
      on
      my
      money.
      Multiple
      floors,
      an
     
     
      outstanding
      live
      DJ
      and
      energetic
     
     
      crowd,
      you
      couldn’t
      ask
      for
      better.
      The
     
     
      coolest
      thing?
      You
      felt
      like
      you
      were
     
     
      partying
      with
      people
      all
      over
      the
      world
     
     
      (which,
      I
      guess,
      with
      all
      the
      tourist
     
     
      there...
      you
      kinda
      were).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Amsterdam
      baby,
      it
      was
      fun
      -
     
     
      and
      though
      you
      may
      be
      just
      a
      *little*
     
     
      too
      wild
      for
      me,
      I
      appreciate
      you
      none
     
     
      the
      less.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Random
      travel
      tip?
      I
      cannot
      stress
     
     
      this
      enough,
      check
      online
      ratings
      of
     
     
      the
      hostels
      you
      choose
      to
      stay
      at.
     
     
      Things
      such
      as
      walking
      distance
      to
     
     
      major
      sites,
      lockers,
      and
      hot
      water
      can
     
     
      make
      or
      break
      a
      possibly
      amazing
     
     
      adventure.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Great
      sites?
     
     
      www.hostelworld.com
     
     
      www.hostels.com
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Travel
      questions
      or
      suggestions?
     
     
      Email
      away
      at
     
     
      kristi_e_kelly@hotmail.com