Heavenly
      Bodies
     
     
      Gene
      Loves
      Jezebel
     
     
      (BMG)
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      2
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      14
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dead
      Enz
      Kids
      Doin'
     
     
      Lifetime
      Bidz
     
     
      Young
      Black
      Teenagers
     
     
      (MCA)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Discard
      List
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      S.
      Livingstone
     
    

    
     
      The
      generous
      music
      editor
      at
      the
      X.Press
      has
     
     
      once
      again
      given
      me
      the
      honour
      of
      reviewing
      a
     
     
      couple
      of
      albums
      which
      he
      has
      deemed
      far
      too
     
    
   
   
    
     
      .
      pathetic
      for
      his
      critically
      acclaimed
      column,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      High
      Fidelity.
      He
      and
      I
      share
      very
      different
     
     
      musical
      tastes
      as
      I
      have
      mentioned
      in
      the
      past
      (I
     
     
      cannot
      trust
      someone
      who
      believes
      grunge
      is
     
     
      “‘just
      a
      trend’’)
      [J
      never
      said
      that.
      --
      Ed.],
      and
     
     
      thanks
      to
      this
      I
      have
      been
      given
      the
      pleasure
      of
     
     
      evaluating
      some
      fine
      releases.
      This
      occasion,
     
     
      however,
      did
      not
      compare
      to
      similar
      past
      expe-
     
     
      riences
      for
      he
      has
      given
      me
      the
      dreadful
      task
      of
     
     
      reviewing
      Heavenly
      Bodies,
      the
      newest
      release
     
     
      from
      Gene
      Loves
      Jezebel,
      and
      the
      Young
      Black
     
     
      Teenagers’
      Dead
      Enz
      Kids
      Doin’
      Lifetime
      Bidz.
     
    

    
     
      Gene
      Loves
      Jezebel
      held
      certain
      appeal
     
     
      back
      in
      the
      eighties
      when
      they
      had
      a
      single
      on
     
     
      the
      Some
      Kind
      of
      Wonderful
      soundtrack,.
      but
     
     
      from
      this
      album
      it
      is
      readily
      evident
      that
      the
     
     
      band
      is
      having
      difficulty
      with
      progression
      into
     
     
      the
      current
      decade.
      The
      music
      is
      bland
      and
      fails
     
     
      to
      captivate
      the
      listener,
      the
      sound
      is
      dated,
      and
     
     
      to
      top
      it
      all
      off,
      the
      album
      cover
      is
      really
      bad
      so
     
     
      the
      visuals
      cannot
      even
      be
      depended
      upon
      to
     
     
      win
      over
      the
      naive
      into
      purchasing
      a
      copy.
     
     
      Heavenly
      Bodies
      has
      little
      chance
      of
      success-
     
     
      fully
      bringing
      this
      has-been
      band
      into
      the
      nine-
     
     
      ties.
      Resist
      the
      temptation
      to
      purchase
      this
     
     
      album
      even
      if
      you
      find
      yourself
      being
      sucked
      in
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ENTERTAINMENT
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      slick
      promotion
      at
      one
      of
      those
      mall
      record
     
     
      stores.
     
    

    
     
      The
      next
      album
      is,
      in
      a
      word,
      vile.
      The
     
     
      Young
      Black
      Teenagers,
      or
      YBT
      as
      they
      call
     
     
      themselves
      in
      a
      futile
      attempt
      to
      have
      an
      ‘‘ini-
     
     
      tial’’
      effect
      on
      the
      masses,
      should
      be
      commended
     
     
      for
      choosing
      the
      worst
      album
      title
      of
      the
      year.
     
     
      Are
      these
      young
      hip
      hop
      boys
      oblivious
      to
      the
     
     
      fact
      that
      they
      are
      a
      relatively
      new
      band
      in
      an
     
     
      overwhelming
      and
      sometimes
      volatile
      market
     
     
      and
      that
      a
      simple
      easy-to-remember
      title
      would
     
     
      allow
      for
      word-of-mouth
      advertising
      to
      occur
     
     
      much
      quicker
      in
      junior
      high
      schools
      across
      the
     
     
      country?
      Apparently
      so.
      After
      reading
      the
     
     
      band’s
      name
      and
      upon
      browsing
      through
      the
     
     
      tape
      jacket,
      I
      observed
      that
      every
      member
      of
      the
     
     
      band
      is
      very,
      well,
      white.
      That
      is
      unless
      Michael
     
     
      Jackson’s
      skin
      problems
      are
      much
      more
      preva-
     
     
      lent
      in
      society
      than
      previously
      acknowledged.
     
     
      To
      end
      this
      review,
      as
      I
      have
      given
      enough
      free
     
     
      and
      gracious
      advertising
      to
      this
      group,
      I
      just
     
     
      have
      one
      brief
      comment
      to
      make.
      In
      the
      credits
     
     
      YBT
      (I
      have
      been
      sucked
      into
      that
      initial
      thing)
     
     
      thanks
      a
      number
      of
      very
      reputable
      groups
      in-
     
     
      cluding
      House
      of
      Pain
      (!!),
      but
      the
      album
      re-
     
     
      mains
      extraordinarily
      unappealing.
      Bizarre.
     
    

    
     
      There
      you
      have
      it.
      Two
      albums
      to
      avoid
     
     
      thus
      saving
      more
      cash
      to
      invest
      in
      more
      worth-
     
     
      while
      causes
      like
      the
      weekend.
      This
      column
      is
     
     
      sure
      to
      return
      as
      a
      multitude
      of
      discards
      are
     
     
      probably
      in
      production
      this
      very
      moment.
      @