Trials
      &
      Tribulations
     
    
   
   
    
     
      of
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      twentysomething
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      s
      I
      sit
      here
      tending
      to
      my
      near
      frost-
     
     
      A
      bitten
      toes,
      speechless
      with
      outrage,
      I
     
    

    
     
      have
      decided
      that
      there
      is
      no
      better
      way
     
     
      to
      vent
      my
      angst
      than
      with
      my
      very
      own
      column
     
     
      of
      personal
      strife.
      As
      you
      read
      this
      article,
     
     
      abounding
      with
      contention
      and
      frustration,
      you
     
     
      may
      be
      forced
      to
      allow
      your
      memory
      to
      bring
      to
     
     
      the
      surface
      the
      sad
      occasion
      on
      which
      I
      left
      my
     
     
      lights
      on
      and
      subsequently
      allowed
      my
      car
     
     
      battery
      to
      die.
      For
      this
      reason
      I
     
     
      have
      considered
      renaming
      my
     
     
      column
      the
      ‘‘Trials
      &
      Tribula-
     
     
      tions
      ofa
      VW
      Jetta
      Owner’’,
      but
     
     
      that
      title
      is
      far
      too
      long,
      and
     
     
      besides,
      I
      hardly
      blame
      my
      lat-
     
     
      est
      encounter
      with
      doom
      on
     
     
      Volkswagen.
     
    

    
     
      My
      story,
      you
      see,
      all
     
     
      began
      as
      I
      was
      leaving
      the
      Uni-
     
     
      versity
      after
      a
      long
      night
      of
     
     
      psuedostudy
      at
      Main
      Building.
     
     
      As
      I
      proceeded
      to
      exit
      parking
     
     
      lot
      ‘‘c’’
      I
      was
      confronted
      with
      a
     
     
      swamp
      of
      sorts
      that
      had
      been
     
     
      fashioned
      by
      Mother
      Nature
      out
      of
      slush
      and
     
     
      ice.
      When
      I
      had
      parked
      there
      earlier,
      as
      it
      was
     
     
      one
      of
      the
      few
      spaces
      remaining,
      the
      covering
     
     
      had
      been
      innocuous
      snow.
      Needless
      to
      say,
      as
     
     
      the
      temperature
      again
      dropped
      to
      sub
      zero
      con-
     
     
      ditions
      the
      once
      snow
      covered
      parking
      lot
      was
     
     
      transformed
      into
      an
      ice
      infested
      car
      trap.
      Why
     
     
      this
      area
      of
      a
      very
      popular
      campus
      parking
      lot
     
     
      was
      left
      unattended
      by
      operation
      snow
      removal
     
     
      is
      beyond
      me.
      I
      could
      call
      the
      UPEI
      Mainte-
     
     
      nance
      Dept.
      and
      inquire
      but
      that
      would
      be
      like
     
     
      reporting
      and
      I
      prefer
      my
      own
      embellishment
      to
     
     
      reluctant
      responses
      from
      bureaucrats.
     
    

    
     
      The
      trap
      mentioned
      in
      the
      above
      para-
     
     
      graph
      was
      more
      than
      my
      compact
      automobile
     
     
      could
      manage.
      My
      car
      would
      not
      budge
      and
     
     
      even
      as
      I
      desperately
      tried
      to
      push
      it
      from
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      grips
      of
      the
      overwhelming
      ice
      flow,
      I
      failed
      in
     
     
      my
      attempts
      to
      persuade
      it
      to
      move.
      I
      then
     
     
      decided
      that
      I
      must
      invade
      Main
      Bldg.
      in
      hopes
     
     
      of
      finding
      some
      large
      liberal
      arts
      students
      to
     
     
      rescue
      me.
      I
      had
      to
      have
      a
      security
      guard
      allow
     
     
      me
      into
      the
      building
      as
      it
      was
      past
      eleven
      and
      the
     
     
      doors
      had
      been
      locked.
      I
      shared
      with
      him
      my
     
     
      grievances
      but
      he
      did
      not
      seem
      to
      realize
      I
      was
     
     
      implying
      he
      do
      something
      to
      alleviate
      the
      present
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      "unable
      to
      speak
      as
      he
      was
     
    
   
   
    
     
      consumed
      with
     
    
   
   
    
     
      devouring
      his
      egg
      salad
      sand-
     
     
      wich
      and
      eyeing
      his
      pack
      of
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Export
      A’s."'
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      situation.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      of
      Main
      I
      came
      across
      George
      Anderson
      sitting
     
     
      in
      the
      English
      lounge
      completely
      innocent
      of
     
     
      the
      circumstances.
      He
      instantaneously
      offered
     
     
      his
      unconditional
      assistance
      and
      we
      moved
      on
     
     
      to
      the
      scene.
      We
      were
      also
      assisted
      by
      a
      kind
     
     
      woman
      who
      was
      escaping
      the
      parking
      lot
      free
      of
     
     
      hassle.
      The
      three
      of
      us
      tried
      unsuccessfully
      to
     
     
      balance
      ourselves
      on
      the
      surrounding
      ice
      flow,
     
     
      attempting
      once
      again
      to
      free
      the
      car
      only
      to
     
     
      become
      chilled
      and
      drenched
      thanks
      to
      the
      ice
     
     
      cold
      salty
      slush
      that
      filled
      our
      boots
      as
      it
      crept
     
     
      towards
      our
      knees.
      This
      failed
      miserably,
      somy
     
     
      only
      remaining
      option,
      short
      of
      calling
      my
     
     
      parents
      and
      lamenting
      endlessly,
      was
      to
      call
      a
     
     
      towing
      service
      as
      I
      had
      already
      deserted
      my
     
    
   
   
    
     
      As
      I
      dashed
      through
      the
      darkened
      halls
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      S.
      Livingstone
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Protestant
      upbringing
      and
      called
      to
      the
      Catholic
     
     
      convent
      across
      the
      field
      in
      hopes
      of
      spiritual
     
     
      salvation
      from
      the
      sisters.
     
    

    
     
      I
      decided
      to
      make
      the
      last
      resort.
      call
     
     
      from
      the
      Security
      Dept.
      where
      I
      once
      again
      met
     
     
      up
      with
      the
      formerly
      mentioned
      officer
      of
      cam-
     
     
      pus
      law
      and
      order
      who
      scolded
      me
      at
      Main
     
     
      telling
      me
      that
      if
      I
      had
      only
      parked
      in
      a
      parking
     
     
      lot
      none
      of
      this
      would
      have
      happened.
      I
      quickly
     
     
      refuted
      this
      imaginary
      assump-
     
     
      tion
      ofhis
      for
      I
      was
      ina
      legitimate
     
     
      parking
      lot.
      Well,
      when
      I
      entered
     
     
      the
      office
      and
      politely
      asked
      him
     
     
      to
      call
      a
      service
      station
      for
      me
      he
     
     
      simply
      pointed
      at
      his
      phone
      un-
     
     
      able
      to
      speak
      as
      he
      was
      consumed
     
     
      with
      devouring
      his
      egg
      salad
      sand-
     
     
      wich
      and
      eyeing
      his
      pack
      of
      Ex-
     
     
      port
      A’s.
      Upon
      questioning
      his
     
     
      motives
      for
      making
      me
      call
      he
     
     
      had
      a
      student
      staff
      member
      call
     
     
      for
      me,
      from
      whom
      I
      received
     
     
      courtesy
      and
      consideration.
     
    

    
     
      After
      this
      episode
      of
      surreal-
     
     
      ism,
      I
      waited
      witha
      friend
      in
      the
      wintry
      parking
     
     
      lot
      for
      the
      towing
      service
      to
      arrive.
      I
      considered
     
     
      setting
      up
      some
      flares
      and
      pylons
      for
      drama
      but
     
     
      deemed
      it
      superfluous.
      Upon
      arrival
      the
      tow
     
     
      truck
      simply
      pushed
      the
      car
      out
      of
      the
      ice
      patch,
     
     
      charged
      me
      twenty
      dollars
      and
      left.
      And
      here
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
      am,
      worth
      twenty
      dollars
      less
      and
      fearful
      that
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
      may
      never
      regain
      feeling
      in
      my
      toes.
      Maybe
      I
     
     
      should
      have
      directed
      the
      tow
      truck
      operator
      to
     
     
      administration
      to
      collect
      the
      fee,
      but
      at
      the
      time
     
     
      I
      was
      far
      too
      angry
      to
      scheme
      to
      such
      limits.
     
     
      Thanks
      to
      this
      chapter
      in
      my
      university
      career
      I
     
     
      have
      learned
      that
      when
      in
      circumstances
      that
     
     
      fail
      to
      be
      considered
      a
      matter
      of
      life
      or
      death,
     
     
      one
      should
      simply
      bypass
      the
      obvious
      and
      go
     
     
      immediately
      to
      the
      off-campus
      professionals.
     
     
      8