PONDERING
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Tom
      Cheese
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Suicide
      is
      the
      ultimate
      cry
      for
      mercy.
     
     
      Just
      like
      belly
      burps
      are
      the
      ultimate
     
     
      cry
      for
      pancakes.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      You
      can
      be
      good
      at
      sex
      and
      not
      nec-
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      essarily
      good
      with
      numbers.
      For
     
     
      example,
      that
      sheep
      you
      re
      screwing
     
     
      might
      have
      four
      legs,
      but
      you
      think
      it
     
     
      has
      two.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Odours
      are
      clues
      to
      be
      wary
      of.
      For
     
     
      example,
      that
      guy
      who
      shit
      himself
     
     
      might
      not
      be
      your
      friend
      after
      all.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      God
      gave
      us
      logic
      as
      a
      means
      to
      fig-
     
     
      ure
      out
      the
      secret
      but
      vital
      process-
     
     
      es
      of
      life.
      And
      God
      gave
      us
      toilet
     
     
      paper.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THIS
      TS
      HERMAN
      D.
      WELLSLEY.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “ap
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      <
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      EXPENSE.
      BUT
     
     
      CHARACTERS...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      LIKE
      MOST
      CARTOON
      CHARACTERS,
     
     
      HERMAN
      TS
      FLAWED.
      HTS
      FLAWS
      ARE
     
     
      HUMOROUSLY
      EXAGERRATED
      SO
      THAT
     
     
      YOU
      MAY
      HAVE
      A
      LAUGH
      AT
      HTS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UNLIME
      MOST
      CARTOON
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      HE
      IS
      A
      CARTOON
      CHARACTER,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Stop
      reading
      this
      page
      now!
      If
      you
      have
      not
      yet
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      MLPA
      CEU
      OM
      mam
      Led
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -
     
     
      i—
     
     
      i—]
     
     
      7)
     
     
      ra
     
     
      =
     
     
      ae
     
     
      Stel
     
     
      i)
     
    

    
     
      =
     
     
      oo
     
    

    
     
      i)
     
    

    
     
      oat
     
    

    
     
      a
     
     
      P=
     
    

    
     
      =
     
     
      SS}
     
    

    
     
      Cand
     
     
      -)
     
    

    
     
      oy
     
    

    
     
      jenn
     
     
      eee
     
     
      —-)
     
    

    
     
      i]
     
     
      a
     
     
      a)
     
     
      os
     
     
      =