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      ~
      MiChico
      Latino:
      A
      conversation
      with
      Ricky
      Martin,
     
     
      or
      a
      reasonable,
      hand
      drawn,
      facsimile
      th
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ereof.
     
     
      by
      stephen
      mcQuaid
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Stephen
      McQuaid:
      Hello,
     
     
      Mr.
      Martin!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ricky
      Martin:
      Hello.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Ricky,
      what
      was
     
     
      Menudo
      like?
      You
      were
     
     
      first
      rejected,
      and
      then
      you
     
     
      spent
      five
      successful
      years
     
     
      with
      them.
      It
      must
      have
     
     
      been
      a
      dream
      come
     
    

    
     
      true,
      as
      well
      as
      a
      shock
      for
     
     
      someone
      so
      young.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Yes,
      it
      was
      a
      dream
     
     
      come
      true,
      and
      it
      was
      hard
     
     
      at
      the
      same
      time.
     
    

    
     
      It
      was
      a
      valuable
     
     
      experience,
      albeit
      an
     
     
      experience
      which
      was
     
     
      marred
     
    

    
     
      by
      corporate
      pressures
      and
     
     
      differing
      views
      between
      the
     
     
      changing
     
    

    
     
      members.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Yes,
      but
      you
      came
      out
     
     
      a
      better
      person
      having
     
     
      learned
      valuable
     
    

    
     
      life
      lessons,
      right?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Essentially,
      yes.
      I
     
     
      would
      change
      nothing
      if
      I
     
     
      had
      the
      opportunity
     
    

    
     
      to
      change
      anything.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      But
      Ricky,
      your
     
     
      childhood
      wasn’t
      all
      smiles
     
    
   
   
    
     
      and
      sunshine,
      was
      it?
     
     
      You
      and
      your
      father
      had
     
     
      your
      problems,
      correct?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Yes
      it
      is
      true.
      He
      had
     
     
      as
      big
      role
      on
      the
      TV
      show
     
     
      t
     
    
   
   
    
     
      antasy
     
    

    
     
      Island”.
      He
      would
      love
     
     
      yelling
      “Da
      plane,
      boss,
      da
     
     
      plane!”’...
      I
      would
     
    

    
     
      watch
      the
      show
      at
      home
      and
     
     
      weep.
      I
      wished
      he
      could
      get
     
     
      on
      that
      plane
     
    

    
     
      sometime
      and
      fly
      back.
     
     
      home,
      so
      I
      could
      see
      him
     
     
      sometime...
     
    

    
     
      >sniff<...,
      but
      he
      would
     
     
      never
      leave
      his
      precious
     
     
      little
      Island
      to
      :
     
     
      come
      home
      and
      spend
      time
     
     
      with
      me.
      It
      makes
      me
      sad
      to
     
     
      this
      day...
      I
     
    

    
     
      felt
      like
      a
      half-an-orphan.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      I’m
      sorry
      to
      hear
      that,
     
     
      Ricky,
      I
      didn’t
      mean
      to
     
     
      bring
      it
      up.
      If
     
    

    
     
      you
      d
      like
      to
      stop
      now,
      we
     
     
      could...
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      No,
      I
      am
      OK.
      I
      will
      go
     
     
      on.
      I
      will
      be
      strong.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      OK
      then,
      Ricky,
      let’s
     
     
      get
      right
      to
      it.
      All
      the
      ladies
     
     
      on
      the
      UPEI
     
    

    
     
      campus
      wanna
      know...
     
     
      boxers
      or
      briefs?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Well,
      that’s
      a
      good
     
     
      question.
      It’s
      actually
     
     
      panties.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Panties?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Yes,
      but
      they’re
      men’s
     
     
      panties.
      Let’s
      not
      get
      things
     
     
      confused
     
    

    
     
      here.
      I
      enjoy
      the
      feel
      of
     
     
      women’s
      underwear,
      but
      I
     
     
      want
      the
      form
      and
     
    

    
     
      comfort
      of
      men’s
      boxers.
     
     
      So,
      they’re
      a
      hybrid
      of
     
     
      men’s
      boxers
      and
     
    

    
     
      ladies’
      panties.
      I
      call
      them
     
     
      ‘boxies’.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Ah...
      yes,
      of
      course.
     
     
      Men’s
      panties.
      I
      should
     
     
      have
      guessed
     
    

    
     
      (snicker,
      snicker).
      Ricky,
     
     
      how
      do
      you
      do
      those
     
     
      sizzling
      Latin
      dance
     
     
      moves?
      How
      do
      you
      make
     
     
      your
      hips
      do
      that?
      It
      drives
     
     
      the
      ladies
      mad!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      If
      I
      can
      quote
      the
      TV
      show
     
     
      “Four
      on
      the
      Floor”,
      They
     
     
      just
      go
      MAD!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      It’s
      the
      feel
      of
      the
     
     
      Latin
      music.
      It
      gets
      into
     
     
      you.
      You
      feel
      the
     
     
      music
      in
      you.
      The
      music
     
     
      gets
      in
      you
      and
      you
      feel
     
     
      it.
      I
      feel
      the
      music
     
    

    
     
      in
      me.
      The
      music
      enters
     
     
      my
      body,
      goes
      straight
     
     
      for
      the
      hips,
      and
      I
      am
     
     
      helpless.
      That
      and
      the
     
     
      Mexican
      flying
     
     
      squirrels.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Mexican
      flying
     
     
      squirrels?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Yes.
      If
      I’m
      sore,
      or
     
     
      if
      I
      just
      need
      an
      extra
     
     
      boost
      of
      Latin
     
    

    
     
      energy,
      I
      just
      get
      a
      couple
     
     
      of
      them
      and
      stuff
      them
      in
     
     
      my
      boxies.
      They
     
    

    
     
      are
      the
      true
      stars.
      They
     
     
      have
      made
      my
      dancing
     
     
      what
      it
      is.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      OK...
      um...
      Ricky,
     
     
      when
      do
      you
      think
      you’ll
     
     
      be
      coming
      to
      PEI
      to
     
    

    
     
      play
      The
      Barn?
      I’ve
      been
     
     
      waiting
      so
      long
      to
      see
     
     
      you
      now.
      We
      just
      love
     
     
      you
      SO
      much
      on
      PEI.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Actually,
      I
      have
     
     
      played
      at
      The
      Barn
     
     
      before.
      I
      was
      the
      leader
      of
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
     
     
      band
      called
      “Wild
      T
      and
     
     
      The
      Spirit”.
      I
      dressed
      up
     
     
      as
      an
      odd-looking
     
     
      African
      American,
      and
     
     
      played
      with
      some
      pretty
     
     
      poor
      musicians.
      If
      you
     
     
      go
      to
      The
      Barn,
      you
      will
     
     
      see
      our
      autographed
     
     
      picture
      there
      on
      the
     
     
      second
      floor
      to
      this
      day.
     
     
      Partially,
      it
      was
      this
      bad
     
     
      musical
     
    

    
     
      experience
      that
      led
      me
      from
     
     
      performing
      in
      groups
      to
     
     
      going
      solo
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      doing
      things
      my
      way.
     
     
      Because
      of
      that
      and
     
     
      Menudo,
      I
      felt
      I
      had
      to
      go
     
     
      solo.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Ricky,
      I’m
      just
     
     
      curious...
      was
      it
      around
      that
     
     
      time
      that
      you
     
    

    
     
      hooked
      up
      with
      Haywire?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Yes,
      it
      is
      true.
      They
     
     
      were
      hanging
      out
      at
      Skate
     
     
      Country
      that
     
    

    
     
      night
      while
      I
      was
      there.
      I
     
     
      was
      trying
      to
      skate
      my
     
     
      blues
      away
      into
      the
     
    

    
     
      night.
      I
      think
      they
      were
     
     
      planning
      a
      video
      of
      some
     
     
      sort,
      and
      I
      heard
     
    

    
     
      them
      singing
      some
     
     
      wonderful
      songs
      about
      the
     
     
      colours
      black
      and
      blue,
     
     
      and
      about
      bad
      boys...
      I
     
     
      rather
      like
      naughty
      boys,
      so
     
     
      I
      got
      to
     
    

    
     
      chatting
      with
      them.
      ‘lurns
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      out,
      they
      needed
      a
      backup
     
     
      singer.
      I
      was
     
    

    
     
      unsure
      of
      my
      musical
      future
     
     
      after
      the
      altercation
      with
     
     
      The
      Spirit
     
    

    
     
      earlier
      that
      night,
      so
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1]
     
    
   
   
    
     
      decided
      to
      leave
      them
      on
     
     
      their
      own
      and
      go
     
    

    
     
      with
      these
      Haywire
      people.
     
     
      I
      needed
      something
      new.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      So,
      for
      a
      short
     
    
   
   
    
     
      while,
      I
      served
      as
      the
     
     
      backbone
      for
      Haywire.
     
     
      Then,
      I....
      I
      think
      you
     
     
      know
      what
      happened.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      Yes,
      Ricky,
      I
      do.
     
     
      Haywire
      was
      good
      in
      their
     
     
      day,
      but
      ironically,
     
    

    
     
      I
      think
      their
      last
      memorable
     
     
      single
      was
      called
      “Short
     
     
      end
      of
      a
     
    

    
     
      wishbone”.
      That’s
      the
      last
     
     
      one
      I
      remember
      seeing
      on
     
     
      Video
      Hits,
     
    

    
     
      anyway.
      What
      happened
     
     
      after
      Haywire?
      How
      did
     
     
      Ricky
      gd
      on?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RM:
      Well,
      I
      got
      a
      job
      at
     
     
      Peter
      Pan,
      and
      I
      could
      only
     
     
      stay
      for
      (wo
     
    

    
     
      weeks.
      I
      could
      not
      get
     
     
      enough
      of
      their
      burgers,
      and
     
     
      they
      were
      making
     
    

    
     
      my
      hips
      flabby
      like
      the
     
     
      buns
      of
      Jennifer
      Lopez.
      My
     
     
      Latin
      wiggle
      was
     
    

    
     
      turning
      from
      something
     
     
      easily
      measured
      by
      the
     
     
      lustful
      looks
      of
      ladies,
     
    

    
     
      to
      the
      lines
      created
      by
      a
     
     
      moderately
      sensitive
     
     
      seismograph.
      I
      flew
     
    

    
     
      back
      home
      and
      the
      pounds
     
     
      melted
      away
      while
      I
      tested
     
     
      some
      new
      protein
     
    

    
     
      power
      plan.
      The
      rest
      is
     
     
      history.
      I
      got
      a
      job
      ona
     
     
      soap
      opera,
      and
      I
      am
     
    

    
     
      now
      a
      monstrously
      huge
     
     
      Latin
      pop
      star.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SM:
      You
      certainly
      are,
     
     
      Ricky,
      you
      certainly
      are.
     
     
      Well,
      thank
      you
      for
     
    

    
     
      your
      time,
      Ricky.
      You’ve
     
     
      been
      more
      than
     
     
      accommodating
      and
      a
      true
     
     
      gentleman.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      END