.21. \ - -.--..:~-.. .. -"I‘HE UHARLOTFETOWN GUARDIAN A psolt - Shaker y, oil's-t w. carom i rs w sou ‘Itaamltllltfromelevsntothit- tssniapiirissndioustseninsoystns oak... humor tends to decrease finteuwbet. although they can otten be smart as a teacher iound out who'd: a boy deliberately laughed on eslngtold the story or the Roman swam across the Tlber three aunts-is... breakiast. -_f‘YolidQilotdoubt a trained swim- mer, eeuiifdo that?" demanded the an, ~ ~ ilk," replied the boy. "but I why he didn't make it tour stinger back to the side his clothes WWW" ‘ ‘m. '_ a o a _ A benevolent gentleman watching the Jostling crowd o! bullocks, sheep, ‘ ind farmers. carts and horsesin . titan... market town. saw thread- way through the stream a boy in a donkey-cart. m said .~ little isd. sshw not airaidt KN old are you?" fjOh. Iuam nine. but the donkey's lofty." the boy replied. \.-'l, _ a a a Jxlduch against his wish. George ' _ Shaw was once persuadedto a _ a musicals at which a youth- m‘ -was to make his debut ‘ _ _.th_e ailair was over the hostess buttpnbclqi Shaw and asked gush- mm ~, . l . ‘£31911. Mr. shaw. what do you tilibkxoi my discovery?" bears a distinct resemblanceto Ialidrewaki." replied Shaw. "fOllvbut Paderewski is not s: vio- lhliQt." said the lady. somewhat viii!“ ' ‘iz-"llkaetly." oasis back c. a. e. . '1 I O I ‘uhplassie among New York news- poplrmeifs stories is the one about attained: Oity editor o! bygone days "wboallllliedabrightyoungxnanto lites-view a-esrtsin celebrity who, it ‘rumored. was about to divorce ' m . b hls-sisiddle-aced and faithful wiis in ribs: or s youthiul stage beauty. ' Vi - - a a a s .'.l'he reporter went to the celebrity's not without misgivings as to tits outcome o! his mission. Gaining ,' ‘ Lhe was received by theman l ass-st -" vmowasawaiting i’ wicked-flight o! at the head o! l. "Good morning. Mr. Blank." chir- ruped the scribe. "r represent tnt Blankety-Blank. We have a story in the omcs that you are about to di- voroe Mrs. Blank and will marry Mia So-and-Bo. My editor ha; re- quested me to ask you iryou would care to make a statement." I O f O 'l‘he seissi-ityfoi husky palpably annoyed. "Ymmgiman." he said, tartly but llflflly. "I will give you just ons min- ute to get down those stairs andout o! this house." _ ' The reporter stuck to his guni and intimated that he was only obeying his editorsorders and added that he could not go back to the omen with- out the statement build. ' was .Beiore_ he had time to realise it the scribe. was out o! the house and on the sidewalk, with the door slammed behind him. Back to the oihce he went, related his tale o! woe to the city editor. and exhibltod a badly sprained wrist acquired during his unoeremonious exit irons the‘ celeb- rity's house. pid he get any sympathy from that, city editor?‘ He did, not? All nssot was thisf " "'You goyrlght back and get ‘that statement and tell Mr; Blank that he can't intimidate mel" p V _ a ' I O I ' ‘ An amusing incident at ates-party attended by those (amour political toes.‘ we Salisbury n‘... m; Glad- stone.‘ is described by Lady Warwick —who was alsopresei-itP-in ‘her rem- iniscences: "Lites Ebb andrloiw." The tea-party‘ was given by Lady Salisbury athsrlondon house‘. Lord Salisbury. it'sesms.'ha_d_ a badtooth- ache. and sat with l. I"! ebetisnd shawl wound round his bsardedlsee and shaggy head, the picture o! _ab- ject misery. _ ' ' ' ' j Gladstone asked anxiously what he was doing about it. ' , " "Nothing." said Salisbury. "Noth- ing: hope it will-pass." ' ' ’ - Gladstone at once suggesteda oer- tainremedyand beioie-anyonecoirld “Salisbury had to admit that the pain ' lotto ‘o! Baxe-Meiningen, sister oi the a the smoke disappear into the open in atop him, be belted trons the room and speedily returned intriusipn with a bottle oi the remedy which he had procured at a nearby druggisvs.’ l-Ie made Salisbury sitback in his chair and open his mouth. The oflending tooth-located. Gladstone proceeded to apply the remedy. 1n rive minutes was-gone. in proof whereo! he un- wound the gray shawl irom his en- head-"to my inexpressible reliel." adds Lady Warwick. O “ O O "Lady Warwick declares that one oi the first’ women she ever knew who smoked cigarettes was Princess Char- iormer German Emperor. "1 found her one; at Buckingham Palace sitting in her bedroomsmok- ing at- an open ‘window, and letting case Queen Victoria should iind out." she chuckles. "The Queen had absolutely torbidden smoking in any part ed the palace. and to have iound a‘ lady smoking in her bedroom would doubtless have been horrifying to her." - i - O - O O Another of Lady Warwick's stories is about Rodin who did a marble por- trait o! her. now in the Rodin collec- tionin‘ New York City. Alter sris had sat {or him. Rodin went to stay with the Wsrwicks on the Riviera. One night s violent storm arose during which Lady Warwick's bedroom door blew open. She went to shut it and there in the passage outside, she saw ‘the’ old‘ sculptor in night attire topped by an inimitable French nlghtcap-a comical figure. a . O O O l Be was like a frightened child and said he could not go to bed in such a gale. Hewantedfcup o! a special kind o! tea. "Together-we descended to the kit- chem-but the householdhad gone to ‘bed and the lire was out," recalls Lady Warwick. “I set to work to light the fire and blew it up with all patience until I got the kettls to boll. My old friend then produced a screw oi’ dirty newspapers in which he had the spe- drsnk the soothing cup and then the old lamb went happily to bed." O O O Lady Warwick lives at Dunmew. Essex. (o! Flltch o! Bacon iamc).and has H. G. Wells tor a. neighbor. In tact, the Wells home is on the War- wick éststs. The Wellses and the War-wicks have always been close friends. h. G. is 10nd o! outdoor sports. Hehasia. passion tor hockey andused to be very partial to agsine oi: handball. Probably still is. r re- member one aitornoon at Boston Glebe when he put mo through anek- citing, ll.’ intensive. hour at handball. I know I was very glad when the gong sounded and we went indoors {or a dish o! tea. I O O Esex has long been a favored re- sidential county tor writers. Until re- cently Arnold Bennett tor many years lived at Oomarques. a one old Geor- gian home at ‘Iliorpe-le-Boken. a quaint village. where many o! his no- vels were wrltton. During his stay at Gomarques. Mr. Bennett added mod- ern features. including a number o! bathrooms and central heating-the latter installed after a visit over here. O O O Edison never could get accus‘ ’ to large sums o! money and the story is told by Edward W. Bolt that upon receiving a check for $40,000 tram the Western Union tor one oi’ his early inventions Edison didn't know what to _do with lt. but ilnally took it t0 the bank. . ' "What do you wish to do with thislwasked the cashier. "I don't know." answered Edison. "do you?" O O O Thscaehier consulted the back pre- sident. It was decided to pay Edison in bills o! small denomination and send. s detective behind hint to see that he got homepsalely. When Edi- son was handed the small mountain o! bills. he looked at the bank presi- dent. smiled. and still thought he was being joked with. When it dawned on him that the money was really his. he naively asked the president: "wrisvn I do-iwith it?" ‘The bank onioisi took compassion on him. showed him how to open an account and draw checks against it. O O O The passing ot Millicent Garrett Fawcett, Mother of the Woman's Suflrage Movement in England. re- tural district-to a petition asking rarliament to pass the. Married Twomanb Property Bill. She obtain- ed very iew signatures. An old (arm- er voiced the feelings or the majority. "Am I to understand you, ma'am. tha _i1 this bill becomes law and my wi! had some money leit her. I should. have to ask her tor it?" "I was "obliged to coniess." explain- ed Mrs. Fawcott. “that lie would have to sufler this humiliation. and then I got no more signatures." O O O e when Mrs. Fawcett was staying in Ireland in days gone by she visited Townsend Trench who managed a large estate in Kerry. He told her that he was trequently consulted by young men on the estate when they were contemplating marriage as to the di- section in which they should allow their ailcctions to tiow. For instance, a young Iellow came to tell Mr. Trench that he had practi- cally a. choics between two girls. One had a cow and two pigs; the other- his iavorite-had a. cow and one pig. He wanted ‘French's advice upon the ilnal casting o1 the die. O O O Trench did not hesitate for a mo- merit. but said: ' "Why. marry the girl with the cow and two pigs! There's not, tho difler- ence o! a pig between any two wo- men in the world.” “I have seen this story in print in various iorms." said Mrs. Fawcett. when telling the story. “but I think Mr. Trench was entitléd to claim it as his own." I O O I Which recalls astory told by Charles Kingston (in "Judge's and. the Judg- ed") about a rnvishingly prettyyoung Irish girl who had been jiltod by her lover. She sued him for breach of promise o! marriage. In Ireland the French dot system prevails, and it was upon ascertaining that the girl's lath- er was heavily in debt and would be unable to provide a dowry, that the young man. a tanner, had broken oi! the engagement. . O O O At. the trial it was apparent that both Judge and jury were with the plaintifi trom the beginning. When the young man took the stand. the judge asked him: "l-low much do you think she calls a story she used to tell o! can- cial toe he wanted. I made it and he "wit at its dash, its vim, its sparkling a|a:rlty.f|t is so much more than pp itr it andytbewill to go" i . Once you ‘drives newiDodge Six, you'll never cease to marvel vasslrig (or signatures-An an agrlcul- ' ought to bring you?" "Five hundred pounds ($2.500). if- sir," replied the deiendant. Costy success for the new Whippet. Prorn/ an engineering standpoint, too, the new Whippet is the most advanced car in its class. Ir is the only low-priced car that offers all these im- ortnnt ndvanga es; extra-long go: bodies an roomier interiors; oversize bal- loon tires, shock absorbers and longer springs for greater riding comfort; big, four-wheel brakes— more braking area than any competitive car; higher compression engine for more s eed, power and pick-up; invar-strur pistons; full orce-feed lubrica- tion; silent timing chain; “Finger-Tip Control"; and, in the Six, a seven-bearing crankshaft. Yet, with all its superiorities of design and con- struction, Whippefs price is so low as to make i: the outstanding Four or Six value. Dependable performance and low operating costs make Whip- pefls upkeep a negligible factor in your budget. so! s.‘ IOURS Manama snavrcr. sra-rrou 186 Grafton st. ____-_. .___-_I- .. " P591“ car Zeaufy 'before has an inarpensive ca: been distinguished by such stylis lines, rich colors and artistic finish as are now winning sweeping wheelbase, with $1145 Whippet Si! De Luxe Sedan i (Si: Wire Wheels) Coach $960, Coupe $930. Coupe (wldarum ie seat) $910, Sedan $1020, De Luz: Sedan (with ' wood wheels) $1070;- De Luke Sport Roadster Q1125- Whi er Four Egsch $750 Con e$750,Coupe(wlfla rum le sear) $790,Sed $825, Roadster $68 , are: with rumble " soat)$725, ouring$675. AR prion fi ab. factory, Toronto, tar: extra. Charlottetown. P. I. NOY CORNEY BROS. KINGS CQUNTY GABAGE H. H. Cd! - Hunter River. V Summcrsido. MWWIIIB- MmTelL ,_ “Gentlemen o! the jury." said the HERE SOMETHING, Ab CHRYSLER 6&3.“ DEVELOPMENT ,-. award the young lady live hundred lady has the fortune Y0“ @011 pounds. Now, sir.“ he added. ad- she should have. so thQe shoul Judge turning to them, "you willldresslng the deiendant, "the young no impediment to your 1118.111881- U.- chunglng every notion of whet e nvunfl’ cor con be expected to do. The new Chrysler: introduce such epochol new de- velopments cisi MULTl-RANGE GEAR SHIFT DOWN-DRAFT‘ CARBURETION SYNCHRONIZED POWER PARAFLEX SPRINGS ARCHITONIC BODIES — and o host of other features that put them farther oheod of oil other present-day automobiles than the first Chrysler was ahead of the cors of five years ogo. Come to the solosroom. Examine these new Chryalers ct your leisure. Then take one out; drive It; and you'll experience the supremo sensation of outcldssing other cors on cny road, in any test, and under all conditions. NEW GIIYSLER "77" Pll$ -- Business Coops, szoso. Roddsta (with rumble sssi). szizs. new! Coupe (with rumble aedt),$2lD0| loyal Sodom $2150; Crown Sedan, $2290; ‘foam Sedan, $186: Y / i i ~ i ~ ' lust a piece of machinery. It is Falrlysurcl-isrged with life and ! THAI REVOLUTIONIZES PERFORMANCE flfmcggffuflfjgfmjjjjjgjnffg: ‘ ‘ ' " ' ' ‘ " ' v ' ' ' ’ " " i ' 3:11“iflf.'l'ilfhlili)é.'ffliil.g'231:2 anlmatlon~s|lve with spirit and the will to go. It typifies the finest, i <'"'='"="* Wm)- . - " ' ' - l new cmrvsia '70" PRICES-Phaeton, time; - i -- - ~- i - ' _ ' ' l lloedstarhvith rumble IOMLIIO$O1IUIIIIOM Covpq most modern design snd- construction. In the quality oF its ' . fjifflfmfililzfaf;*;f7;§f;$_':'$v":;:- - - - _ l) 4 ' - v . l Trratzsugsrgfecuéhguslpeprjnj; “Ontdrle, Including standard tasted Oqulllaoa; die precision with which It is msnuFeetureel It is _ abroad u. the lond. §,";.','“;,j§j§[';".$",,m_,m,m ca,‘ p M s i j v - - i ~ '\ _' h!’ In the thick of city traffic-on the streets usurp; , gorge ofgtlrgr rgflngmgnh give the new Dgqlgg v M“ ,7 . x~ and boulevords-olongithe highwdysahd w’).“m,lmimo_',um,_o_mw|ndm' I; . c ' ' ; w ;.""..Z.’.".‘.".'.';Z.";22?l3'";?.‘22.2‘§.'f2'"; .°..".':'.'.";.'::L:i1".'..::;.""" "m" "Six a-zest, a smoothness-pod, rllexlbllity unapprosclrecl by any? i, ' ' .. "° car price}. It is, Indeed, an unmatched value. . i a _. i ' I ‘ ‘ v ‘ I _ g‘ I ' 7 I . ‘ > I _ n‘ ‘ i ‘ . _ i ' I I . _ J I l -- - ‘ - ' _ ' , - _ i Q CHRYSLER MOTORS noo . ' = - ~ - i '- ' - -~ new" I ygws7 a urwv Bu" |_ L "w" Q CHlYsifR MOTORS PRODUCT wmi MUlTl-IANOI “d” wrru taunt-sauce our stun . Hmugwesr-raicso canvass six ‘ ' s‘ ' ~ i i ‘f i i ‘ f ’ i ‘Provincial Motors Limited . B. d ! hi! Great Gfiilrle Street i ‘ Phone 4.21 ié ' ‘ . - _ f Summerslde ' _ _ " _ ~ ' 3;. ' p Dealers for Prince Edward Island i‘ '1 H 5 ¢ A N A q |._.\'~gr;5'u_"ri'..i.irr;o-ono s} o. ‘fca NJ. i}. N s_ .K m: . cAusoiAN-s UILT CHRYS tea to: ran/touts} V \ st n: