Fact
      and
      Opinion
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Stephan
      MacLEOD
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Kidney
      disease
      can
      strike
      any-
     
     
      one
      at
      any
      age.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Kidneys
      are
      known
      as
      the
     
     
      “terrorist”
      organs.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Each
      day,
      an
      average
      of
      12
     
     
      Canadians
      learn
      that
      their
      kidneys
     
     
      have
      failed.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Or
      else
      they
      just
      receive
     
     
      an
      incomplete.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      If
      kidney
      failure
      is
      not
      treated,
     
     
      people
      die
      within
      days
      or
      weeks.
     
     
      OPINION:
      If
      your
      kidneys
      fail,
     
     
      chances
      are
      snipers
      may
      already
      have
     
     
      you
      as
      a
      target.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      In
      1999,
      there
      were
      23,601
     
     
      Canadians
      on
      renal
      replacement
      ther-
     
     
      apy
      and
      this
      number
      is
      expected
      to
     
     
      double
      over
      the
      next
      10
      years.
     
     
      OPINION:
      Trend-spotters
      predict
     
     
      renal
      replacement
      therapy
      will
      soon
     
     
      be
      more
      popular
      than
      Harry
      Potter.
     
     
      FACT:
      Half
      of
      all
      new
      patients
      in
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1999
      were
      over
      65
      years
      old.
     
     
      OPINION:
      It’s
      hard
      to
      portray
      kidney
     
     
      disease
      as
      sexy
      when
      most
      of
      the
      peo-
     
     
      ple
      who
      have
      it
      look
      like
      sacks
      of
     
     
      flour.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      The
      three
      leading
      causes
      of
     
     
      kidney
      failure
      in
      new
      patients
      are
      dia-
     
     
      betes,
      renal
      vascular
      disease,
      and
     
     
      glomerulonephritis.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Kidneys
      fail
      when
      they
     
     
      don’t
      study
      enough.
      Try
      reading
      a
     
     
      book
      to
      your
      kidney.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      The
      number
      of
      new
      patients
      in
     
     
      1999
      reached
      an
      increase
      of
      4.7%
     
     
      over
      1998.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Scientists
      have
      discovered
     
     
      a
      correlation
      between
      the
      increase
      in
     
     
      kidney
      disease
      and
      more
      and
      more
     
     
      people
      getting
      beaten
      in
      the
      kidney
     
     
      area.
      ;
     
    

    
     
      FACT:
      Canada’s
      organ
      donation
      rates
     
     
      rank
      among
      the
      lowest
      in
      all
      devel-
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      oped
      countries.
      —
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Why
      would
      someone
      give
     
     
      a
      perfectly
      good
      organ
      away
      when
     
     
      they
      could
      make
      a
      couple
      bucks
      off
     
     
      it?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      The
      sale
      and
      purchase
      of
     
     
      organs
      for
      transplant
      is
      illegal
      in
     
     
      Canada.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      And
      I
      thought
      this
      was
      a
     
     
      free
      country!
      Next
      thing
      you
      know,
     
     
      the
      sale
      and
      purchase
      of
      teenage
     
     
      brides
      will
      be
      criminalized.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Of
      the
      3,573
      Canadians
      on
      the
     
     
      waiting
      list
      for
      a
      transplant,
      2,808
     
     
      were
      awaiting
      a
      kidney
      transplant.
     
     
      OPINION:
      If
      I
      needed
      a
      transplant,
     
     
      I'd
      want
      John
      Candy’s
      kidney.
     
     
      Autographed.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Of
      the
      1,069
      kidney
      trans-
     
     
      plants
      performed
      in
      1999,
      65%
      were
     
     
      cadaveric
      and
      35%
      were
      from
      living
     
     
      donors.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1.
      Testical
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OPINION:
      I’d
      hate
      to
      have
      the
      ghost
     
     
      from
      one
      of
      them
      cadaveric
      donors
     
     
      haunting
      me.
      There’s
      nothing
      scarier
     
     
      than
      a
      ghost
      that
      can’t
      pee.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      35
      children
      received
      a
      kidney
     
     
      transplant
      in
      1999.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      I’m
      not
      going
      to
      spoil
      my
     
     
      kids
      by
      giving
      them
      kidney
      trans-
     
     
      plants.
      Feeble
      little
      brats.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      Since
      1964,
      The
      Kidney
     
     
      Foundation
      has
      awarded
      more
      than
     
     
      $61
      million
      to
      support
      kidney-related
     
     
      research.
     
    

    
     
      OPINION:
      Thanks
      to
      this
      money,
     
     
      incredible
      advances
      have
      been
      made
     
     
      in
      kidney-shaped
      swimming
      pools.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FACT:
      In
      the
      2001-2002
      competition
     
     
      year,
      69
      research
      awards
      were
      granted
     
     
      for
      a
      total
      of
      over
      $3
      million.
     
     
      OPINION:
      The
      competition
      is
      similar
     
     
      to
      Trivia
      Night
      at
      Myrons,
      except
     
     
      with
      a
      lot
      more
      beer
      questions.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      2.
      The
      Ass
      Kidney
     
    
   
   
    
     
      .
      Renal
      Pelvis
     
     
      Crazy
      Straw
     
     
      .
      The
      Stem
     
    
   
   
    
     
      .
      Punching
      Sack
     
    
   
   
    
     
      .
      Booster
      Cables