i i i , JUNE 14, 1924 ; » . ... s- it to,» worthy or his position-Aime of Pork lung. Hehsd itiu-rtuoc-l thiqmn the nrchitenifililil‘) tilts! "rt-i Jlsiilitl. p "Of femurs?" ‘uxvl-ininlrtl- tn-.~ architect rue day yrheti tlwy \\a~l'|' lnlklllfl over tin- plans. “l! W" don't wart: for these New Bullion puffed out his t-het-lts and looked thoughtful-ton a-tao- tncnt. Then he looked npifrom the plans. lie had said that expense was llu objoot." Iii ho;,would..ehow the urvhitdefllhdt: e Ielnt it. "Wm!" he igttihted. "They look hnlltllflllll eaouih as they aro. but it you think liminating them will make tin-m any hanqsomer thou. _l ssy, have them 'lisuln_l_t§d="' ~~ Judge-"Hsvo you ‘Iiiyfhisg further in any?" Prisoner-J‘! should like to.ask that ttte time ooonnied by counsel's speech lul‘ tho defence be deducted from my u-rur of imprisonment." WIIY III LOOKED TIRED- The heatl of-a large husiness house ainicsdthat one of his clerks hsdbeen luuklllg 0H color for some months. and .at- morning. when he was looking rather paler than usual. he tackled him vii the subject. "You look tired this morning. JnllPl." he suid kindly. "Don't you sleep well?" . "No. sir." was tho reply. “The pal l share a room with and l_ suffer from alternate insosnuia." "Alternate Insomnia! What is that?" "Whichever gets to sleep first keeps tu- other awake ull night!“ NAVAL ENGAGEMENT AVEBTED she-J nln sorry I can't accept you. lllll. but circumstances over ‘which i|:ll'(' no control preyent me. ' lie-And what are those circum- slilndfll - F‘- "' , circumstances-From the Annapolis Dog. old Lady~“ls it dangerous to go up ia'an aeroplane?" Aviator--"Not at all. ma’avn. The _ danger is Allin the coining dou'n.““ A snau who owned s business itook mil a ilrt.-' insurance policy. The same tisy a blfio" broke out that destroyed the building and its contents. ‘the insurance company tried in rain in tind auflsiont grounds to refuse pay- ment, and was’ obliged to content itself with the following letter appended to the cheque: "Dear Bin-We note that your policy was issued at ton o'clock on Thursday tuorning Ind that the tire did not oc- rat- until three-thirty. Can you elnlsin this delay?" ‘the only tar-hearing snlmul that np~ pears to he holding its rown is woman. She: "No. Herbert. l atn sorry: but l'ln sure we could not he happy to- geiher. You know l always want my awn way iaeverythislx." lie: "But. my dear girl. you roilld k0 on waiting it after we were lnnr- rind." ‘ ' Tonto." ~. v 44.3w. 1i V‘ T‘ ‘"3... “w”? ; u; I "stair-tit" thoi THE CQRLOTTEIYJWN GUARDIN wdnd Mother: "My son Jack is play- Fons Uothsr: "Welly-I'm not sure; burl think 'hsclts."..__ . _\\'illlo: "Pa. teacher says We are here to help others." " 14m: "Yes. that's "Wt-ll. what are l0." the others heft‘ -l_or'.'” Mr. llardupf-ltfs hard to have n lot of lltfillti that you simply can't pay. Jankls-Oh. l don't know. It's worse in have :1 lut tllat you simply have to lltly- ’ further: PDid you get the erate'of chickens l sent?" llnstotner: “Yes. hut you hadn't. pat-lied ‘em well. and after sesrehin‘ the neighborhood I only found twelve." Farmer: “l only sent eight." T‘ THREE LIVE HEN. "Thestution of Savannah." says a B trsreller through the' South. "is sur- rounded lu all directions with a lot of saloons and cheap restaurants. la zrest illuminated letters over one of these saloons was the sign: " ‘Open all nightfi" “Next to it ‘wasa restaurant hearing with equal prominence the legend: “We nercr close-f." "Third in order was‘ a (‘hlnese linin- dry in situmhlotlown-hny l. and upon Mairl~“.\ly mistress is not at home. madam. Visitor-"Vm glad to,henr it. When l saw her pet-pinsflthrotrgh the window‘ lust now l feared she niightghe!" "Wore you seriously injured in that motor accident?" ' “Well. l~tlidu't think l was untill u reutl about the smash in the news- paper." Agent: "You've seen the front bed- room: now,’ this is the linen cup- board. sir." - Fist-hunter: “Yes. l understand — the cupboard is the one with the shelres." "He ls such s door." said thomroiiy. uirl. praising: young Iilll of het- ae-Z qunlntsnve; "he takes mother and me out to dinner nearly every week. _,W1- zlote on him. in fuel." she added with I smile, "ive table tl'h0te on him." THE SLI PPEBY SLOPE. Grot-tiboy: Oi course. l know marriage is u grave step. . Oltlun: Step7 .\ly dear lad. it's more like a flight of steps. and every one of ‘om greased I-“Penrsoui Magazine." TIE IDLE BAKED- Tn attract the custom of the foreigu- i 4-, Japanese tradesmen often put it'll tigus in what they consider to be idio- uatic Eitglish. Such signs contain aru- ayr,“ Yfffti.“ ‘ *Ar.~__3;"_$%‘_dil‘ . tsing mistakes. One of the funniest is that exhibited by a Japanese baker in Tokio: it roads: "A. Knshinuru. Biggest Loafer in .21!“ a __ ._ Iiwg brought tlte- moms-n» I donsl _L°~.n 0pm”. ...-~-;..M~.» ma...” .-. . -. ' _ daughter. ~ sdaveuile- lay!" , --n has." "W Youth asscntcd. "Think, ye t-azild romp again m, m, narrow. luddie?" senior. ilsts in interrupting." lie said, "will ve good enough to tellns his name in- fived-ef merely shouting out his call- lng. l um sure we shall all he pleased to make his acquaintance.‘K-Christian "Marie." mads faces at me." _ LIJBI 0P‘ GOLF. An old Scotsman Jing in a football gsmeqodsy," Friend; "Novrnioei-Ig what position spent t e Whole a" 1°" l5 D701?" ' ' t‘ ~ - and hn had some and esciting names. he's one of the drawf amm- the "Hwnrlnon. but i "Wt-ll." the, ynuui: r 'l*“‘li\’\'|.\'. "l was to llt- tunrried. but 1. . luresuy l can put it utl." A t-itniptligner was ranted by a mun in~tht~ crowd, who "l! the gen egister. Teneher—-“So you don't letter comes after 'h".'" oy-"Ndm." Tent-her-"tvhot hav 1f my tiose." Boy-"Loolss like p0 ~Re1ectcd. "Johnny." Sllld his uijoy thrhook l so birthday?" "Huint looltctl at it “Why. how is that “Cause run said l‘ the front of this building as the sign. v in great scrawlirigfleiters: ‘"7 mm“ when l “'8'! ‘i-‘LC-“llildlll” “ ‘We wukce. toofl" Paper‘ Mother (fishing to compliment) : mother's only darling loves absolutely best is the whole world?" Bobby: “Fousin Molly." . Mother: "Then ‘you- don't love m» is you used to do?” Babb " 'sn't ltlmne me-yout "And ‘I'm sorry. noyvF-Punch. Mary was visitinlr in the country. Walking in the garden. the chanced to see s peacock. a bird the had never seen before. After gazing in sl taya The Trihutiefishe ran quickly into ‘he house and. cried out. “Oil. Granny. -ome and see! One of your chickens is in bloom." "' s ,"Wuiter._ what is this on the hill?" Bungalow ‘flu . sl r portion.“ “But who! is it '1" "Formerly cottage fi“t?(‘ll."--llld§0. ‘i lrish Father (to p ‘lie a good boy and study hard. Dennis. ind some day you may bepresident ti’ the lrish republic and have every a ‘lady nemoryJK-‘Iatler in lreluud Vlsitor—\\'l|o is "nan ~ In this flriu ‘I Omco hey-l dell’! ‘osponsihle _party is. but l uni the one who. always lets tile hire Post.‘ " ' BRINGING UP FATHER oto YOU Q ALL ME- said a father to his little 'xr'thl4;-gligiqljelilllied from Y. ‘ ‘You ‘have any, attention paid yqu1“"oh‘ y," and“. aaswersd little Marie. "One little boy old man remarked .' (London-i ..........t.... . .. ;.\._ . . PAGE ELEVEN and a youth had on the golf links. remarkably close As they left for 1's beorra gran! n illl answered. r0- cnustuntly inter‘ tept shouting out, "List-l" Mm,- flbom Bllta ‘he twentieth repetition. tiib spetrltar . t "‘" vaused and tixed his eyes on his lore ’ tleniun who per- p“: Bobby (seeing Hymn Board): "l say. mum, tho man who those numbers up can't add up very well!" —Ths Passing Show. know what e l on either side wdcr from here." aunt. "did you n! you on your yet." T. d have to wash t r the old. old who is it that . mother. but you h to youth. you her grandmother Clock (to new maidf: “You'll get on better wltii the mlssis if you Just gwaller yer pride an‘ treat ‘or as an equal-J’ ‘ London Opinion. lent admiration. i r. at forty cents i ' TRAINING SCHOOL FORNURSES puddhm m‘ n . The School of Nursing ot the New Hampshire Stats l Hospital otters a course of’ Nursing Education 10 YiII-"ll ‘mmmw m“ '_ ‘ women who are eligible top adrnisslon- The $€h0°| ll registered by the New York and New Hampshire Stats Boards of Education. A generous allowance is offered to students during tho course. For furthor information apply to the Directml of Nursing. NEW HAMPSHIRE STATE HOSPITAL. CONCORD, N, H. respecting your i the responsible know who the . -—- Y l- ."’."“" "' zhsooosi. --By GEO, aromas-sis i 141W WELL -HE'$ $UCH A DARl-JN" wHhTlb Hi5 YEQHERr-‘Jb A QUNWER- ‘ WILL. you TAKE "mt-z .; . Doc. our FER A sovsc. . t \\\\\ wanna GEE; Ab; THE LAbiEfi STOP Me-ANYWANNA DET THifi NUT‘ two-our t'i_i.. TAKE CHARGE THAT l<lD mam ‘Qtsts iv inn. {eagles Qlsmcs. Inc. .= a y... _ t '.