I
      personally
      love
      stories
     
     
      that
      have
      no
      entertainment
      value
     
     
      whatsoever.
      The
      idea
      of
      telling
      a
     
     
      five
      minute
      story
      and
      having
      the
     
     
      other
      person/people
      so
      bored
      they
     
     
      are
      uncomfortable
      makes
      me
      a
      lit-
     
     
      tle
      aroused,
      I'm
      not
      afraid
      to
      admit
     
     
      it.
     
     
      I
      only
      mention
      the
      above
     
     
      information
      because
      if
      as
      you
      read
     
     
      this
      story
      you
      get
      exceptionally
     
     
      bored,
      know
      that
      somewhere
      I'm
     
     
      feeling
      pretty
      good.
      Probably
      too
     
     
      good.
      Anyway,
      on
      with
      the
      story.
     
    

    
     
      So
      the
      age
      of
      15
      is
      a
      rough
     
     
      time,
      more
      hair
      in
      new
      places
     
     
      (God
      willing),
      mother-son
      sex
      fan-
     
     
      tasies,
      bullies,
      pudding
      cup
      rings
     
     
      snapping
      off
      and
      losing
      a
      whole
     
     
      can
      of
      pudding.
      The
      usual
      things.
     
     
      Add
      in
      girls
      and
      Lord
      Jesus,
      there's
     
     
      almost
      no
      point
      in
      going
      on.
     
     
      Unless
      you're
      comfortable
      talking
     
     
      to
      girls,
      if
      that's
      the
      case
      then
      feel
     
     
      free
      to
      fuck
      yourself
      repeatedly.
     
    

    
     
      Well
      when
      I
      was
      15
      the
      hip
     
     
      thing
      was
      to
      get
      a
      girl
      to
      let
      you
     
     
      “
      your
      lounge
      into
      her
      mouth.
     
     
      cause
      could.not.be
     
     
      v
      with
      this
      goal
      on
      my
      —
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ahead
      into
      tigworld
     
    
   
   
    
     
      vas
      one
      girl
      on.
      :
     
     
      ek
      at
      and
      she
      was
      popular,
     
     
      se
      since
      the
      age
      of
      13
      she'd”
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
           
     
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Pe
      dg
      gepoment
      was
      *
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
           
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      sure
      that'll
      sone
      batssen
     
    
   
   
    
     
      g
      lady
      and
      I
      had
      as
      much™
     
     
      ince
      of
      lounge
      kissing
      this
      gin
     
     
      dof
      falling
      off
      the
      face
     
     
      anding
      i
      in
      the
      lar
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      holding
      her
      as
      she
      cried.
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tions,
      I
      literally
      had
      no
      idé
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      suddenly
      in
      the
      cock
     
     
      i
      the
      proud
      ip
      of
      a
      set
      of
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Anyhow
      Rachel
      (wow
      ee
     
    
   
   
    
     
      did
      come
      up
      again)
      was
      a
      popular
      1
     
    
   
   
    
     
      myself
      locked
      in
      my
      room
      sur-
     
     
      rounded
      by
      Dungeons
      and
     
     
      Dragons
      sets,
      and
      KISS
      Posters
     
     
      imagining
      myself
      tongue
      kissing
     
     
      random
      non-Rachel
      girls.
      Because
     
    
   
   
    
     
      First
      Kiss
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I
      was
      nothing
      if
      not
      a
      realist.
      So
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘imagine
      my
      shock
      when
      Rachel
     
    
   
   
    
     
      showed
      up
      knocking
      on
      my
      door
     
     
      bawling
      her
      pretty
      little
      eyes
      out.
     
     
      It
      seems
      that
      Rachel's
     
     
      grandma
      was
      the
      unfortunate
     
     
      recipient
      of
      a
      tainted
     
     
      McHamburger
      and
      was
      now
      in
      the
     
     
      process
      of
      becoming
      six
      feet
     
     
      under.
      Understandably
      Rachel
      was
     
     
      pretty
      bummed
      out
      about
      this.
      So
     
     
      bummed
      in
      fact
      she
      probably
     
    
   
   
    
     
      wouldn't
      approve
      of
      me
      saying
     
    
   
   
    
     
      bummed.
      But
      I'm
      my
      own
      man
     
     
      and
      that's
      what
      I'll
      say.
      Point
      being
     
     
      she
      was
      bummed
      enough
      to
      end
      up
     
     
      sitting
      on
      a
      bench
      in
      our
      neigh-
     
     
      bourhood
      park
      with
      me
      beside
      her
     
    
   
   
    
     
      bs
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Now
      from
      my
      room
     
     
      at
      I
      am
      a
      loser
      of
      epic
      prog
     
     
      was
      supposed
      to
      do
      wi
     
    
   
   
    
     
      grain
      a
      thought
      leapt
     
     
      "KISS
      HER
     
    
   
   
    
     
      hould
      have
      ignore
     
     
      natural
      instinct
      led:
     
     
      |
      zoned
      |
      in
      and
      kissed
     
     
      fider-
      her
      aa
      eye
     
    
   
   
    
     
      stop.
      I
      was
      truly
     
     
      all
      males
      at
      this
      point
      in
      my
      you
     
     
      life.
      Then
      just
      as
      quickly
      I
      wa
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UPEI
      Cadre
      December
      2
      2003
      page
      11
     
    
   
   
    
     
      As
      I
      kissed
      her
      on
      the
      lips
     
     
      she
      pressed
      forward
      against
      me,
     
     
      seemingly
      telling
      me
      to
      move
      for-
     
     
      ward,
      so
      I
      stuck
      out
      my
      tongue.
     
     
      She
      responded
      by
      biting
      my
     
     
      tongue
      as
      hard
      as
      she
      could.
     
    

    
     
      Allow
      me
      to
      restate
      that.
     
     
      She
      bit
      my
      tongue
      as
      hard
      as
      she
     
     
      could.
     
    

    
     
      Needless
      to
      say
      this
      hurt.
      A
     
     
      fair
      bit
      actually.
      Especially
      when
      I
     
     
      saw
      Rachel
      spit
      out
      the
      end
      of
      my
     
     
      tongue.
      That
      actually
      made
      it
      hurt
     
     
      a
      lot
      more
      oddly
      enough.
     
    

    
     
      _
      As
      I
      sat
      there
      in
      shock
      and
     
     
      pain,
      I
      couldn't
      even
      attempt
      to
     
     
      verbalize
      anything,
      half
      because
      |
     
     
      was
      so
      shocked
      and
      half
      because
     
     
      half
      of
      my
      tongue
      was
      bit
      off.
      It
     
     
      was
      at
      this
      point
      that
      the
      next
     
     
      crazy
      thing
      happened
      although
      I'm
     
     
      a
      little
      too
      close
      to
      the
      story
      to
     
     
      judge
      which
      was
      crazier.
     
    

    
     
      I
      felt
      the
      ground
      shake
     
     
      below
      me
      and
      as
      I
      looked
      down
     
     
      (and
      continued
      to
      bleed
      of
      course)
     
     
      I
      realized
      that
      my
      feet
      were
      lifting
     
     
      up
      off
      the
      ground.
      This
      did
      little
      to
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
        
     
     
       
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      description
      I
      hope
      you
      can
      s
      mise
      tc