HOROSCOPES
      by
      stephan
      macleod
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Scorpio
      10/24
      to
     
     
      11/22
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      You
      can’t
      make
      an
     
     
      omelette
      without
     
     
      breaking
      a
      few
     
     
      eggs.
      But
      if
      you
     
     
      just
      want
      some
     
     
      cereal,
      put
      the
      eggs
     
     
      away
      and
      break
      a
     
     
      few
      light
      bulbs.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sagittarius
      11/23
     
     
      to
      12/21
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Capricorn
      12/22
      Pisces
      2/20
      to
      3/20
     
    
   
   
    
     
      to
      1/20
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      If
      someone
      says
     
     
      they
      listen
      to
     
     
      Whitesnake,
      shake
     
     
      their
      hand
      and
      tell
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      If
      you
      were
      a
     
     
      doctor
      it
      wouldn’t
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      be
      illegal
      to
      remove
      them
      you
      do
      too.
     
     
      your
      dad’s
      gall
     
    

    
     
      bladder,
      but
      you
      Aries
      3/21
      to
      4/20
     
     
      should
      do
      it
     
    

    
     
      anyway.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Aquarius
      1/20
      to
     
     
      2/18
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Don’t
      take
      your
     
     
      rubber
      snake
      out
      in
     
     
      public,
      or,
      for
      that
     
     
      matter,
      don’t
      go
      out
     
     
      in
      public.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      You
      will
      become
     
    

    
     
      suspicious
      of
     
    

    
     
      Astrology
      when
     
    

    
     
      you
      read
      this
     
     
      ___
      horoscope.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      21
     
    
   
   
    
     
      238
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Taurus
      4/21
      to
      5/
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      20
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Cancer
      6/22
      to
      7/
      Virgo
      8/24
      to
      9/23
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      If
      you
      don’t
      stop
     
     
      walking
      like
      a
     
     
      penguin,
      you
      are
     
     
      going
      to
      start
     
     
      talking
      like
      a
     
     
      penguin.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Gemini
      5/22
      to
      6/
     
     
      21
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Get
      a
      box
      of
      band
     
     
      aids
      and
      celebrate
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      we
      If
      you
      feel
      like
     
     
      This
      is
      the
      month
      Oscar
      the
      Grouch
     
     
      that
      you
      will
      be
      don’t
      forget
      that
     
     
      diagnosed
      with
      he’s
      got
      a
      Big
      Bird.
     
     
      cancer.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Libra
      9/24
      to
      10/
     
     
      Leo
      7/24
      to
      8/23
      3
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Be
      cautious
      if
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Don’t
      listen
      to
     
     
      anybody
      who
     
     
      claims
      to
      be
      a
     
     
      “dentist.”
      You
     
     
      know
      your
      own
     
     
      teeth
      better
      than
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      stranger
      offers
      you
     
     
      a
      drive
      home,
      they
     
     
      probably
      mean
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      fact
      that
      you’re
      their
      home
      and
      they
     
     
      If
      you
      plan
      on
      e@
      preventing
      an
      any
      stranger.
      might
      live
      in
      a
      real
     
     
      teasing
      anyone
      this
      S
      infection.
      shit-hole.
     
     
      is
      the
      month
      to
      do
      ov
     
     
      it.
     
     
      yt
      oes
      4
      (2
      6
     
     
      }
      i
     
     
      _
      Trivia
      .
      |
      Intangibles
     
     
      |:
      9
      YIO=
      ‘a
      Taig.
      Soa
     
     
      i
      Wide
      Mouth
     
     
      :
      ts
      (eae
      |
      |
      Pama
      Shine
      Mason
     
     
      145
      16
      :17
      .
      18
      /19
      20
     
     
      |
      2
     
     
      i
      Trivia
      .
      tru
     
     
      2°
      ‘Tox
      tees
      +
      gg
      ~~
      Bae
      Mechamicals-
     
     
      ther
      isa
      24
      26
      37
     
     
      i
      i
     
     
      2
      3
      Pee
      %
     
     
      '
      1G
     
     
      bets
      1
      ocncene
      Sep
      zs
      eee
      ©
      —
      Rude’
      Mechianigale
     
     
      30
      }
      f
      ~
      an
      ae
     
     
      i
     
     
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