NovemsBer
      15,
      2005
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      CADRE
      @
      5
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Rob
      Walker
     
     
      Copy
      Editor
     
    
   
   
    
     
      There
      seem
      to
      be
      a
      fair
      number
      of
     
     
      people
      writing
      editorials
      and
      letters
     
     
      lately,
      mostly
      with
      valid
      issues
      that
     
     
      should
      be
      addressed
      around
      campus.
     
     
      However,
      very
      few
      of
      them
      have
      been
     
     
      suggesting
      useful
      solutions,
      so
      I’m
      going
     
     
      to
      try
      to
      make
      this
      University
      better,
      one
     
     
      column
      ata
      time.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Problem:
     
    

    
     
      To
      the
      driver
      of
      the
      red
      ford
     
     
      escort
      who
      blew
      through
      the
      red
      lights
     
     
      between
      browns
      court
      and
      the
     
     
      university:
      I
      hate
      you.
      And
      not
      in
      the
     
     
      ‘Oh
      man
      you’re
      an
      asshole
      and
      nearly
     
     
      ran
      me
      over’
      kind
      of
      way
      either.
      Oh
     
     
      no.
      This
      is
      the
      kind
      of
      hate
      that
      makes
     
     
      me
      wish
      that
      your
      car
      hits
      a
      small
     
     
      pebble,
      spins
      out
      and
      bursts
      into
      flames
     
     
      right
      in
      front
      of
      the
      restaurant
      window
     
     
      where
      your
      wife
      and
      two
      small
      children
     
     
      are
      eating
      dinner.
      —
     
    

    
     
      It’s
      the
      kind
      of
      smoldering,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      passionate
      hate
      that
      in
      the
      past
      would
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      have
      fueled
      a
      hundred
      year-long
      war
     
     
      between
      nations.
      In
      other
      words,
      it
     
     
      really
      pissed
      me
      off.
      What
      the
      hell
      is
     
     
      wrong
      with
      these
      people
      anyway?
     
     
      You’re
      driving
      a
      car
      that
      weighs
      what,
     
     
      around
      a
      1,000
      pounds
      or
      more?
      At
     
     
      60-70
      km/h?
      Do
      you
      have
      any
      idea
     
     
      what
      that
      would
      do
      to
      another
      car
      if
     
     
      you
      hit
      it,
      let
      alone
      a
      human
      being?
      At
     
     
      my
      spot
      in
      Browns
      I
      can
      see
      pretty
     
     
      much
      the
      entire
      ave.,
      and
      every
      week
     
     
      I’m
      amazed
      that
      no
      one’s
      been
      hit
      yet.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Especially
      me.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Solution:
     
    

    
     
      Speed-trap
      video
      traffic
      ticket
     
     
      system
      rigged
      to
      a
      series
      of
      road
      spikes
     
     
      that
      instantly
      pop
      up
      when
      a
      car
      goes
     
     
      through
      the
      red
      or
      is
      going
      faster
      than
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Right
      Here
      and
      Now
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      limit.
      But
      seriously,
      how
      about
      a
     
     
      pedestrian
      overpass
      going
      over
      the
     
     
      Ave?
      Then
      drunk
      people
      can
      get
      their
     
     
      revenge
      by
      dropping
      bottles
      on
      any
     
     
      cars
      that
      fly
      through
      the
      intersection.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Problem:
     
    

    
     
      The
      cafeteria
      has
      closed
      their
     
     
      doors
      early
      on
      a
      couple
      of
      occasions
     
     
      for
      ‘private
      functions’,
      the
      latest
      which
     
     
      was
      this
      last
      Friday
      night
      at
      5:30pm.
     
     
      You
      might
      have
      noticed
      this
      because
     
     
      half
      the
      population
      of
      residence
      was
      at
     
     
      Subway
      by
      7.
     
    

    
     
      [have
      an
      issue
      with
      this
      entire
     
     
      situation.
      However,
      I
      do
      want
      to
      say
     
     
      that
      I
      really
      like
      the
      cafeteria
      and
      its
      staff,
     
     
      and
      this
      has
      nothing
      to
      do
      with
      them.
     
     
      They’re
      great
      people
      and
      they
      work
     
     
      hard
      for
      us.
      But
      here’s
      the
      thing:
      we
      pay
     
     
      a
      buttload
      of
      money
      to
      eat
      at
      the
     
     
      cafeteria.
      Many
      of
      us
      pay
      around
      $100
     
     
      a
      week
      for
      the
      right
      to
      eat
      as
      much
      food
     
     
      as
      we
      want,
      from
      7am
      until
      10pm
      at
     
     
      night.
     
    

    
     
      However,
      for
      the
      second
      time
     
     
      (that
      I’m
      aware
      of),
      they’ve
      closed
      the
     
     
      cafeteria
      down
      much
      earlier
      than
     
     
      normal,
      with
      no
      alternative
      means
      of
     
     
      getting
      food.
      And
      even
      though
      I’m
      going
     
     
      to
      sound
      like
      a
      bit
      of
      a
      jerk,
      someone
     
     
      has
      to
      say
      it:
      I
      don’t
      give
      a
      shit
      about
     
     
      these
      private
      functions.
      I
      really,
      really
     
     
      don’t.
      Do
      I
      get
      a
      cut
      of
      however
      much
     
     
      they’re
      charging
      per
      plate
      for
      these
     
     
      fancy
      affairs?
      Hell
      no.
      All
      I
      know
      is
      that
     
     
      I
      don’t
      get
      to
      eat
      between
      5:30
      and
      10,
     
     
      a
      time
      where
      I
      normally
      grab
      at
      least
     
     
      two
      large
      meals.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Solution:
     
     
      Let
      us
      make
      a
      sandwich
      or
      two
     
     
      to
      take
      out
      of
      the
      caf.
      I
      know
      it’s
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “against
      company
      policy”
      to
      take
      food
     
     
      out,
      but
      part
      of
      that
      agreement
      was
      that
     
     
      you
      be
      open
      during
      your
      set
      times.
      Not
     
     
      closed,
      so
      that
      people
      who
      don’t
      live
     
     
      here
      can
      eat
      better
      food
      than
      we
      usually
     
     
      have.
      Actually,
      that’s
      another
      solution
     
     
      right
      there:
      why
      not
      let
      us
      eat
      their
      food?
     
     
      We
      won’t
      make
      a
      fuss
      or
      anything,
      we’
      ll
     
     
      even
      dress
      up
      real
      nice
      and
      politely
     
     
      applaud
      whenever
      someone
      says
     
     
      something
      with
      a
      lot
      of
      big
      words.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Problem:
     
    

    
     
      The
      resnet
      connection
      is
      way
      too
     
     
      slow!
      You’
      re
      all
      using
      Limewire
      and
     
     
      Kazaa.
      Good
      lord,
      do
      yourselves
      a
     
     
      favor
      right
      now
      and
      quit
      using
      Kazaa,
     
     
      that
      place
      is
      a
      wretched
      hive
      of
      scum
     
     
      and
      villainy.
      It’s
      basically
      only
      a
      good
     
     
      place
      to
      go
      these
      days
      if
      you
      feel
      like
     
     
      getting
      a
      really
      great
      virus
      and
      fucking
     
     
      your
      computer
      to
      the
      nines.
     
    

    
     
      I’m
      going
      to
      preface
      my
      helpful
     
     
      tip
      with
      this:
      I’m
      not
      going
      to
      help
      you
     
     
      with
      your
      computer
      problems.
      So
     
     
      don’t
      ask
      me
      if
      I
      can
      help
      you
      set
      up
     
     
      Limewire
      or
      bit
      torrent
      the
      next
      time
     
     
      you
      see
      me
      getting
      a
      bite
      to
      eat,
      you
     
     
      can
      Google
      how
      to
      do
      that
      just
      as
      easily
     
     
      as
      I
      can.
      I
      realize
      that
      even
      by
      putting
      a
     
     
      bit
      of
      computer
      info
      in
      here
      I
      open
      myself
     
     
      up
      to
      being
      hassled
      for
      help
      all
      year,
     
     
      but
      ’ma
      man
      of
      sacrifice
      and
      integrity,
     
     
      and
      that’s
      the
      kind
      of
      thing
      I
      do.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Solution:
     
    

    
     
      '
      Stop
      using
      Kazaa!
      Seriously,
     
     
      again,
      stop
      using
      this
      piece
      of
      trash.
      At
     
     
      least
      switch
      to
      Limewire,
      it’s
      only
      filled
     
     
      with
      a
      million
      viruses
      instead
      of
      a
     
     
      bajillion.
     
    

    
     
      The
      reason
      your
      connection
      is
     
     
      going
      slowly
      is
      mainly
      because
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      everyone
      is
      leaving
      Limewire
      open
      and
     
     
      random
      internet
      jerks
      are
      downloading
     
     
      files
      off
      of
      everyone’s
      computers.
      Open
     
     
      whatever
      downloading
      software
      you
     
     
      use.
      Look
      under
      the
      file
      or
      tools
      tab
      up
     
     
      top
      then
      options/settings
      and
      look
      for
     
     
      sharing.
      Remove
      the
      folders
      that
      are
      set
     
     
      up
      to
      share.
      Or
      you
      could
      drop
      the
     
     
      number
      of
      uploads
      down
      to
      zero.
     
    

    
     
      Either
      one
      of
      these
      should
      help
     
     
      a
      lot,
      especially
      if
      everyone
      does
      it.
     
     
      It’s
      really
      not
      hard,
      it
      may
      not
      be
      exactly
     
     
      like
      I
      described
      depending
      on
      what
     
     
      version
      of
      what
      software
      you’
      re
      using,
     
     
      but
      just
      poke
      around
      a
      bit,
      you’re
     
     
      looking
      to
      disable
      anything
      related
      to
     
     
      uploading
      or
      sharing.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      How
      do
      you
      like
      your
      Cadre?
     
     
      Like
      the
      new
      look?
     
     
      Did
      something
      piss
      you
      off?
     
     
      Want
      to
      see
      more
      of
      ...?
     
     
      Bored
      out
      of
      your
      mind?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Then
      email
      us!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      upeicadre@gmail.com