Style
      Report:
     
     
      Sic
      Transit
      Gloria,
      baby.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sic
      Transit
      Gloria.
     
     
      by
      Jonah
      CAMPBELL
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Having
      noticed
      a
      markedly
     
     
      negative
      and
      cynical
      slant
      in
      the
      past
     
     
      few
      (or
      first.
      few;
      or
      all
      of
      the)
      install-
     
     
      ments,
      of
      this
      column
      (which,
      despite
     
     
      noncompliance
      by
      the
      staff
      of
      this
     
    
   
   
    
     
      backwater
      rag,
      I
      had
      christened
     
     
      “Knives,
      Bats,
      New
      Tats,”
      not.
      “style
     
     
      report”
      ...
      did
      someone
      write
      “hon-
     
     
      key”
      on
      my
      face?
      Because
      if
      it’s
      there,
     
     
      I
      assure
      you
      it’s
      unintentional),
      I
      have
     
     
      decided
      to
      start
      shit
      offright
      this
      week
     
     
      by
      administering
      mad
      props
      to
      some
     
    
   
   
    
     
      '*
      examplés
      of
      lass'‘which
      Shine
      through”
      ‘ipon
      insurmountable
      obstacle
      in
      my
     
    
   
   
    
     
      in
      the
      midst
      of
      this
      sea
      of
      depressing
     
     
      human
      refuse
      which
      is
      popular
      attire.
     
     
      For
      the
      next
      couple
      of
      weeks,
      Ill
      be
     
     
      speaking
      to
      the
      positive.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      First
      off
      is
      a
      little
      brand
      by
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      name
      of
      Faded
      Glory.
      Now
      I’m
      not
     
     
      usually
      big
      on
      commodity
      fetishism,
     
     
      but
      hey,
      Faded
      Glory?’
      Ow.
      I
      stumbled
     
     
      upon
      this
      shit
      a
      while
      back’-when
      a
     
     
      couple
      of
      my
      friends
      realized.
      they
     
     
      both
      were
      wearing
      Faded
      Glory
      jock-
     
     
      eys
      (which
      have
      nautical
      stars
      on
      the
     
     
      waistband.
      Uh,
      hello?),
      and
      yet
      knew
     
     
      nothing
      at
      all
      about
      the
      brand.
      How
     
     
      these
      people
      can
      know
      so
      little
      about
     
     
      their
      underwear
      is
      beyond
      me,
      perhaps
     
     
      they
      should
      start
      doing”
      their
      own
     
     
      damn
      Sone
     
    

    
     
      Of
      course,
      was
      immediately
     
     
      struck
      >
      the
      unrelenting
      (devastating,
     
     
      even.
      Ha.)
      freshness
      of
      the
      name
     
     
      itself,
      and
      reacted
      with
      an
      obligatory
     
     
      “No
      fuckin’
      way,
      that’s
      the
      raddest
     
     
      shit
      ever,”
      which
      may,
      in
      the
      eyes
      of
     
     
      some
      readers
      be.a
      touch
      dramatic,
      but
     
     
      come
      now,
      Faded
      Glory?
      How
      is
      that
     
     
      not
      the
      most
      amazing
      name
      for
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      clothing
      company
      ever
      (underwear,
      no
     
     
      less)?
      Holy
      Outsiders.
      Holy
      emo
      band
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -name.
      Holy
      succinct
      alliteration
      of
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      futility
      of
      perseverence.
     
     
      The
      tragic
      aspect
      of
      this
      oe
     
     
      is
      that
      I
      have
      no
      idea
      where
      to
      acquire
     
    
   
   
    
     
      these
      irresistibly
      mentionable
      unmen-
      -
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tionables,
      and
      so
      I
      presume
      they
      are
     
     
      the
      type
      of
      thing
      to
      be
      delivered
      from
     
     
      the
      firmament
      ...
      and
      God
      being
      the
     
     
      petty,
      vengeful
      little
      rotter
      that
      He
      is,
     
     
      will
      most
      certainly
      place
      obstacle
     
    
   
   
    
     
      path.
     
    

    
     
      Mind
      you,
      I
      haven’t
      actually
     
     
      looked
      for
      them
      anywhere,
      but
      I
     
     
      assume
      that
      since
      I
      hadn’t
      heard
      of
     
     
      them
      sooner,
      they
      must
      be
      hopelessly
     
     
      obscure
      (the
      Almighty’s
      immature
     
    
   
   
    
     
      vendetta
      against
      me
      notwithstanding).
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
      So
      it
      falls
      upon
      you,
      dear
      reader,-
      to
     
     
      heed
      my
      plight:
      If
      anyone
      on
      this
      cam-
     
     
      pus
      or
      across
      this
      green
      isle
      should
      be
     
     
      in
      possession
      of
      knowledge
      as
      to
     
     
      where
      I
      might
      procure
      these
      garments,
     
     
      I
      would
      be
      much
      obliged
      if
      you
      would
     
     
      share
      such
      information
      with
      me.
     
     
      Further,
      if
      there
      happen
      to
      be
      any
     
     
      Faded
      Glory-wearers
      among
      the
      popu-
     
     
      lation,
      they
      should
      stumble
      on
      down
     
     
      to
      the
      Cadre
      office
      (room
      06
      in
      the
     
     
      basement
      of
      Main
      building)
      and
      if
      I’m
     
     
      around
      I
      swear
      on
      Joe
      Hill’s
      grave
      [ll
     
     
      give
      you
      some
      sort
      of
      prize
      or
      some-
     
     
      thing
      (like
      I
      don’t
      know,
      a
      CD
      I
     
     
      guess),
      and
      perhaps,
      with
      your
      per-
     
     
      mission,
      take
      a
      picture
      of
      your
      stank
     
     
      ass
      to
      use
      in
      a
      future
      issue
      of
      The
     
     
      Cadre
      (or
      political
      slag
      campaign
      if
     
     
      need
      be).
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Double
      the
      power
      of
      your
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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      RO:
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      (Se
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      {
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      Peers
     
    
   
   
    
     
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      presents
     
    
   
   
    
     
      GO
      GLOBAL
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Youth
      Lrade
     
     
      se
     
    
   
   
    
     
      —
      Prize
      4
     
     
      00
      &
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      meeting
      wana
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Canada’s
      Minister
     
    
   
   
    
     
      for
      International
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘Trade
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Four
      Regional
      prizes
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
      a
      2
     
    
   
   
    
     
      of
      52,000
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Write
      an
      essz
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Tell
      us
      how.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      n
      French
      or
      E
      glish
     
    
   
   
    
     
      resident
      of
      Canada
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      addressing
      the
      theme:
     
     
      You
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