in
      Rie
      rey
      vee
      ar
      ren
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
          
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      hey
      couldn’t
      do
      their
      dishes
      last
      Thursday
      for
      a
      very
     
     
      sood
      reason.
      Try
      and
      bea
      little
      sensitive,
      no
      matter
     
     
      how
      annoying
      they
      may
      seem,
      but
      not
      to
      the
      point
      of
     
     
      yecoming
      a
      door
      mat.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      fy
      brother,
      the
      Problem
      Child
     
     
      Chris
      McCarron
     
    
   
   
    
     
      have
      this
      six
      year
      old
      brother
      named
      Matthew.
     
     
      \iter
      seeing
      ‘‘Home
      Alone”’
      and
      *‘Problem
      Child’’
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ine
      of
      the
      problem
      child’s
      first
      offensive
      attacks
     
     
      ecurs
      while
      he
      was
      still
      crawling
      in
      pampers.
      The
     
     
      rst
      victim
      I
      can
      recall
      was
      my
      brother
      Grant
      and
      my
     
     
      ideo
      cassette
      collection.
      Matthew
      thought
      it
      was
      fun
     
     
      }pull
      and
      touch
      the
      pretty
      brown
      tape.
      This
      yank-
     
     
      ig,
      touching
      and
      drooling
      ruined
      several
      minutes
      of
     
     
      idiovisual
      On
      more
      than
      a
      few
      videotapes.
     
    

    
     
      :
     
    

    
     
      ver
      since
      Matthew
      was
      born
      our
      family
      has
      loved
     
     
      iving
      him
      small
      amounts
      of
      money.
      We
      give
      him
     
    

    
     
      Ne
      rters
      and
      loonies,
      occasionally
      a
      two
      dollar
      bill.
     
    

    
     
      dw
      Matthew
      loves
      money
      and
      he
      is
      ina
      constant
     
    

    
     
      :
      arch
      for
      money.
      One
      day
      when
      he
      was
      about
      five,
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      i,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      _
      the
      Problem
      Child
      took
      a
      fifty
      dollar
      bill
      from
      my
     
    
   
   
    
     
      mother’s
      purse.
      Two
      weeks
      later
      mom
      happened
      to
     
     
      notice
      that
      Matthew
      had
      a
      fifty
      stuffed
      inside
      his
     
     
      wallet
      along
      with
      the
      two’s.
      She
      immediately
      told
     
     
      Matthew
      about
      how
      wrong
      this
      was
      but
      she
      couldn’t
     
     
      get
      too
      angry.
      I
      found
      this
      funny
      of
      course.
      Mom
      and
     
     
      I
      talked
      about
      Matthew
      taking
      the
      fifty.
      Isuggested
     
     
      he
      took
      it
      because
      it
      was
      pretty,
      it
      being
      red
      with
     
     
      horses
      on
      the
      back.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      problem
      child
      loves
      to
      uproot
      the
      carrots
      in
      our
     
     
      garden.
      He
      does
      this
      when
      they
      are
      not
      mature.
      He
     
     
      and
      his
      friends
      uproot
      quite
      anumber
      of
      carrots
      in
     
     
      one
      raid.
      The
      kids
      eat
      ‘emraw
      and
      this
      is
      devastating
     
     
      to
      the
      carrot
      crop.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      My
      brother
      Grant
      brings
      his
      girlfriend
      over
      quite
     
     
      often.
      We
      were
      surprised
      to
      hear
      one
      day
      that
      the
     
     
      Problem
      Child
      went
      to
      Julie
      and
      said
      “‘Hey
      are
      you
     
     
      movin
      in
      or
      something?’’
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Recently
      Grant
      and
      Julie
      went
      out
      to
      get
      a
      video
      to
     
     
      bring
      home.
      Now
      was
      the
      time
      for
      the
      Problem
      child
     
     
      to
      strike.
      Matthew
      took
      his
      rubber
      dog
      shit
      and
      put
      it
     
     
      in
      Grant’s
      room,
      waiting
      to
      surprise
      them.
      When
     
     
      Julie
      and
      Grant
      arrived
      Julie
      say
      the
      shit
      and
      was
     
     
      shocked.
      She
      thought
      that
      someone
      had
      let
      our
      poodle
     
     
      into
      Grant’s
      room!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Next
      issue
      -
      part
      two
      of
      the
      Problem
      Child.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      NIGHT
      IXKRE_
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (Oh.
      Monr-
      um!
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      November
      21,
      1991
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Page
      21