Ask
      the
      Doctor..
     
    
   
   
    
     
      his
      Doctor
      Doesn’t
      like
      to
      Play
      Golf..
      With
      His
     
     
      Girlfriend!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Students
      of
      U.P.E.I.
      let
      me
      applaud
      your
      efforts.
      I
     
     
      would
      like
      to
      thank
      those
      students
      who
      sent
      me
      down
     
     
      te
      submissions
      for
      this
      column
      to
      the
      Office
      of
      the
     
     
      X-Press
      (Main
      06)
      last
      week.
      They
      were,
      for
      the
     
     
      most
      part,
      quite
      amusing.
      Keep
      it
      up!
      Iam
      sorry
     
     
      about
      not
      yet
      posting
      my
      Problem
      Box
      in
      ‘‘The
      Pit’’,
     
     
      but
      due
      to
      the
      horrid
      blizzard
      this
      weekend
      it
      became
     
     
      quite
      impossible.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Doctor,
     
    

    
     
      |
      was
      reading
      a
      letter
      from
      your
      column
      last
      week
     
    

    
     
      about
      this
      guy
      who
      had
      smelly
      feet
      (January
      30-1992-
     
    

    
     
      The
      Smelly
      Arch).
      Well,
      I
      have
      a
      similar
      problem;
      I
     
     
      lave
      excessive
      body
      hair.
      It
      is
      a
      major
      problem
      at
      the
     
    

    
     
      |
      each.
      Whatshould
      I
      do?
     
    

    
     
      F
      P
     
    

    
     
      igned
     
    

    
     
      sross
      n’
      Hairy
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
     
     
      ;
     
    
   
   
    
     
      E
     
     
      .
      S.
      Are
      you
      really
      a
      doctor?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Bar
      Gross
      n’
      Hairy,
     
    

    
     
      ‘ou
      are
      suffering
      from
      Hirsutism
      (big
      word
      for
     
     
      leing
      hairy).
      Although
      this
      is
      usually
      a
      benign
      symp-
     
     
      iom
      it
      can
      be
      on
      occasion
      indicate
      serious
      glandular
     
     
      isorder,
      If
      you
      are
      a
      woman
      this
      may
      also
      mean
      that
     
     
      ou
      are
      growing
      arather
      sexy
      moustache.
      I
      would
      not
     
     
      worry
      though.
      If
      worse
      comes
      to
      worse
      you
      could
     
     
      have
      the
      area.
      This
      is
      not
      recommended,
      however,
      if
     
     
      he
      hair
      os
      protruding
      from
      the
      back,
      as
      it
      becomes
     
     
      fery
      difficult
      to
      shave.
      Trust
      me
      on
      this
      one!
      Iam
     
     
      tually
      a
      doctor,
      but
      am
      nota
      practicing
      physician.
     
     
      After
      completing
      my
      Ph.D
      at
      Disney
      University
      in
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
          
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
          
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      think
      that
      |
      am
      suffering
      froma
      form
      of
      depression.
     
     
      4m
      always
      down
      and
      |
      often
      think
      about
      suicide.
      |
     
     
      on’'treally
      understand
      why
      |
      get
      so
      sad,
      but
      I
      often
     
     
      ©.
      |
      wish
      that
      I
      could
      stop
      feeling
      this
      way.
      Is
      there
     
    
   
   
    
     
      mething
      wrong
      with
      me?
      Any
      suggestions?
     
     
      igned,
      Anonymous
     
    
   
   
    
     
      3
      es
      ar
      Anonymous,
      This
      may
      or
      not
      be
      a
      serious
      prob-
     
     
      c
      n,
      On
      a
      more
      serious
      note,
      |
      would
      suggest
      that
     
    
   
   
    
     
      you
      go
      to
      see
      a
      Counsellor
      at
      Student
      Services,
      be-
     
     
      cause
      that
      is
      what
      they
      are
      there
      for.
      There
      is
      nothing
     
     
      *“wrong
      with
      you’’,
      and
      you
      should
      not
      feel
      ashamed
     
     
      about
      being
      depressed
      a
      lot
      of
      the
      time.
      Most
      people
     
     
      have
      suffered
      from
      the
      same
      kind
      of
      loneliness
      at
     
     
      some
      point
      in
      their
      lives.
      It
      isa
      very
      common
      prob-
     
     
      lem!
      Suicide
      should
      not
      bea
      serious
      option,
      because
     
     
      no
      matter
      how
      bad
      your
      life
      may
      seem
      it
      is
      most
     
     
      certainly
      worth
      living.
      My
      advice
      to
      you
      is
      to
      learn
     
     
      to
      appreciate
      the
      finer
      things
      in
      life
      and
      try
      to
      live
      a
     
     
      little.
      I
      think
      that
      you
      will
      soon
      agree
      that
      life
      is
      the
     
     
      only
      thing
      that
      really
      is
      worth
      anything.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Doctor,
     
    

    
     
      Tam
      chronically
      bored
      inthis
      town.
      There
      is
      nothing
     
     
      to
      do
      on
      the
      weekends
      and
      even
      fewer
      things
      to
      do
     
     
      during
      the
      week.
      I
      have
      just
      come
      here
      from
      Toronto
     
     
      and
      there
      is
      a
      lot
      more
      to
      do
      there.
      It
      is
      a
      real
      pain
      in
     
     
      the
      neck!
      Can
      you
      cure
      that?
     
    

    
     
      Signed,
     
    

    
     
      Sick
      of
      This
      Town
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Sick,
     
    

    
     
      Maybe
      the
      problem
      is
      that
      you
      area
      pain
      in
      the
      neck.
     
     
      Iam
      sorry,
      but
      I
      would
      like
      to
      say
      that
      I
      really
      hate
      it
     
     
      when
      people,
      who
      have
      just
      moved
      here,
      complain
     
     
      about
      how
      boring
      it
      is
      here.
      I
      will
      admit
      that
      it
      can
     
     
      be
      slightly
      monotonous
      on
      a
      Friday
      night
      in
     
     
      Charlottetown,
      but
      that
      is
      no
      reason
      to
      get
      down
      on
     
     
      the
      Island.
      Find
      something
      to
      do;
      get
      out
      and
      go
     
     
      bowling
      or
      join
      a
      university
      organization
      or
      go
      to
      The
     
     
      Barn.
      If
      it
      was
      so
      great
      in
      Toronto
      then
      move
      back.
     
     
      What
      I
      like
      to
      do
      ona
      Friday
      night
      is
      to
      go
      out
      to
     
     
      Brackley
      Beach,
      take
      offall
      of
      my
      clothes
      and
      run
     
     
      through
      the
      dunes
      naked,
      screaming
      out
      lines
      from
     
     
      Hamlet,
      Macbeth
      and
      Olde
      MacDonald
      (for
      the
      best
     
     
      results
      you
      should
      be
      completely
      sober
      and
      covered
      in
     
     
      sunscreen).
      Try
      to
      say
      that
      P.E.I.
      is
      boring
      after
     
     
      doing
      THAT!
      I
      dare
      ya!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      X-PRESS
      YOURSELF
     
    
   
   
    
     
      JOINTHE
      X-PRESS
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      February6,
      1992
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Page
      25