UPEI
      celebrates
      its
      first
      annual
      Flounders’
      Day,
      fun
      had
      by
      all
     
    
   
   
    
     
      There
      was
      something
      in
      the
     
     
      air
      on
      Thursday,
      September
      14th
      as
     
     
      UPEI
      celebrated
      its
      first
      annual
     
     
      Flounders’
      Day.
     
    

    
     
      A
      large
      crowd
      of
      about
     
     
      twenty
      people
      was
      on
      hand
      to
      wit-
     
     
      ness
      the
      procession
      of
      professors
     
     
      and
      first-year
      students
      wearing
     
     
      black
      gowns
      that
      began
      the
      cere-
     
     
      mony
      on
      Thursday
      afternoon.
     
    

    
     
      “It
      was
      really
      quite
      a
      sight,”
     
     
      said
      Ken
      Arsenault,
      a
      third-year
     
     
      history
      major
      who.
      stopped
      to
     
     
      watch
      the
      procession
      for
      a
      few
     
     
      moments
      before
      going
      home.
     
    

    
     
      When
      the
      members
      of
      the
     
     
      procession
      seated
      themselves,
     
     
      UPEI
      president
      Wade
     
     
      MacLauchlan
      started
      off
      the
      cere-
     
     
      mony
      with
      a
      stirring
      speech.
     
    

    
     
      “We’re
      trying
      to
      start
      a
      tra-
     
     
      dition
      that
      will
      last
      throughout
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      years,”
      said
      President
     
    
   
   
    
     
      MacLauchlan
      during
      the
      ceremo-
     
     
      ny.
      “Every
      year,
      UPEI
      will
      honour
     
     
      its
      flounders.”
     
    

    
     
      A
      flounder
      is
      a
      small
      flat-
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Flounder.
     
     
      fish
      that
      usually
      can
      be
      found
      in
     
     
      shallow
      coastal
      waters.
     
    

    
     
      “Our
      university
      (UPEI)
      is
     
     
      quite
      dependent
      on
      the
      flounders,”
     
     
      commented
      Ed
      MacDonald
      during
     
     
      his
      speech.
      He
      then
      proceeded
      to
     
    
   
   
    
     
      list
      all
      the
      different
      species
      of
     
     
      flounders
      in
      alphabetical
      order.
     
     
      Other
      guest
      speakers
      at
      the
     
     
      ceremony,
      were
      a
      fisherman,
      a
     
     
      chef,
      and
      a
      nun.
      Each
      one
      spoke
      on
     
     
      the
      importance
      of
      flounders
      in
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Flounder.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      UPEI
      community.
     
    

    
     
      Some
      of
      the
      attendants,
     
     
      however,
      questioned
      whether
      or
     
     
      not
      flounders
      are
      indeed
      crucial
      to
     
     
      UPEI.
      Jenny
      Gray,
      a
      second-year
     
     
      biology
      major,
      commented,
      “There
     
     
      are
      lots
      and
      lots
      of
      fish
      in
      the
      sea.
      I
     
    
   
   
    
     
      don’t
      see
      why
      flounders
      should
      be
     
     
      singled
      out.”
     
    

    
     
      Student
      Union
      president
     
     
      B.J.
      McCarville
      disagreed.
      “I
      think
     
     
      it’s
      awesome!!!”
      said
      McCarville.
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Not
      Flounder.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      When
      asked
      to
      clarify
      her
      point,
     
     
      she
      added,
      “You
      know....
     
     
      Awesome.”
     
    

    
     
      No
      flounders
      could
      be
     
     
      caught
      for
      comment.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Joe
      Discopo
     
     
      Superstar
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Lionel
      Meadows,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      author
      of
      The
      Life
      and
      Crimes
      of
      Gilbert
      Gottfried
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Extraordinaty
      actor.
      Consumate
      comedian.
      Timeless
      sex
      symbol.
     
     
      Family
      man.
      Here
      is
      a
      penetrating
      look
      at
      his
      career,
      at
      the
     
     
      incredible
      charisma
      and
      fascinating
      contradiction
      that
      is
      Joe
      Piscopo.
     
     
      Here,
      too,
      is
      a
      masterful
      analysis
      of
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      films
      and
      electrifying
     
     
      performances
      that
      have
     
     
      made
      him
      a
      legend
      in
      his
     
     
      own
      time:
      American
      Tickler,
     
     
      Johnny
      Dangerously,
      Wise
     
     
      Guys,
      Sidekicks,
      to
      name
     
     
      a
      few.
      There
      is
      nobody
     
     
      else
      quite
      like
      him.
      There
     
     
      is
      no
      other
      biography
     
    

    
     
      quite
      like
      this
      one.
     
    

    
     
      Joe
      Piscopo.
     
    

    
     
      Superstar.
      Photos.
      $8.95
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Coolbreeze:
     
     
      I
      met
      this
      guy,
      Stonecold69,
      in
      a
     
     
      chat
      room
      on
      the
      Internet
      and
      he
     
     
      wants
      to
      meet
      in
      person.
      I
      really
     
     
      like
      him
      *grin*,
      and
      he
      seems
      real
     
     
      nice,
      but
      I’m
      worried
      that
      when
      we
     
     
      actually
      meet,
      he
      will
      be
      a
      total
     
     
      loser.
      Hold
      on
      a
      sec,
      BRB...
      LOL
     
     
      I’m
      back.
      What
      was
      I
      saying?
      Oh
     
     
      yeah,
      should
      I
      go
      for
      it?
      TTYL
      :)
     
     
      -Juicyfruit_69_the_grrl
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Juicyfruit:
     
    

    
     
      Chances
      are
      that
      the
      man
      of
      your
     
     
      dreams
      probably
      is
      a
      total
      loser,
      but
     
     
      think
      about
      the
      advantages
      of
     
     
      going
      out
      with
      an
      Internet
      geek:
      he
     
     
      probably
      knows
      where
      to
      find
      all
     
     
      the
      best
      websites,
      he
      might
      own
     
     
      some
      really
      cool
      comic
      books,
      or
      it
     
     
      might
      not
      be
      a
      guy
      at
      all,
      but
      some
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ee
      eee
      eee
      eee
      eee
      eee
      eee
      nee
      ened
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dutch
      shemale
      who
      really
      knows
     
     
      how
      to
      treat
      a
      lady.
      Go
      for
      it.
      4-
     
     
      sure!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Coolbreeze:
     
     
      Every
      time
      I
      try
      to
      use
      a
      cheque
      at
     
     
      Future
      Shop,
      the
      horny
      store
      clerks
     
     
      ask
      for
      my
      drivers
      license.
      I
      don't
     
     
      feel
      comfortable
      sharing
      personal
     
     
      information
      like
      my
      address,
      phone
     
     
      number,
      or
      shoe
      size
      with
      guys
      I
     
     
      don't
      know.
      Am
      I
      too
      uptight?
     
     
      -Private
      Pam
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Pam:
     
     
      Future
      Shop
      employees
      are
      the
     
     
      biggest
      creeps
      in
      the
      high
      tech
     
     
      retail
      world.
      I
      once
      tried
      to
      buy
      the
     
     
      DVD
      for
      Sister
      Act
      Two
      from
     
     
      there,
      and
      they
      didn't
      even
      have
      it!
     
     
      I'd
      rather
      steal
      merchandise
      from
     
     
      Zellers,
      then
      spend
      my
      hard-earned
     
     
      cash
      at
      Futureshop.
      Oh
      yeah,
      you
     
     
      probably
      are
      uptight.
      Relax,
      take
      a
     
     
      bubble
      bath,
      ride
      a
      bicycle,
      or
     
     
      shoot
      cats
      with
      a
      pellet
      gun.
     
    

    
     
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