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      “ENGINEERS
      DO
      IT
      WITH
      PRECISION”
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ENGINEERING
      SOCIETY
      NEWS
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Engineering
      at
      its
      finest
     
     
      If
      nothing
      else,
      our
      years
      of
      engineering
      will
      teach
      us
      to
      what
      degree
      of
     
     
      accuracy
      specifications
      must
      be
      followed.
      Below
      is
      a
      sample
      of
      the
     
     
      stringent
      specifications
      with
      which
      you
      will
      be
      faced:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Hose
      specifications:
     
    

    
     
      1)
      All
      hose
      is
      to
      be
      made
      of
      a
      long
      hole,
      surrounded
      by
      rubber
      centered
     
    

    
     
      around
      the
      hole.
     
     
      2)
      All
      hose
      is
      to
      be
      hollow
      throughout
      its
      entire
      length.
     
     
      .
      3)
      All
      hose
      is
      to
      be
      of
      the
      very
      best
      quality.
     
     
      4)
      All
      acid
      proof
      hose
      is
      to
      be
      made
      of
      acid
      proof
      rubber.
     
    

    
     
      5)
      The
      O.D.
      of
      the
      hose
      must
      exceed
      the
      I.D.,
      otherwise
      the
      hole
      would
     
    

    
     
      be
      on
      the
      outside.
     
     
      6)
      All
      hose
      is
      to
      be
      supplied
      with
      nothing
      in
      the
      hole
      so
      that
      water,
     
     
      steam,
      or
      other
      stuff
      can
      be
      put
      inside
      at
      a
      later
      date.
     
     
      7)
      All
      hose
      is
      to
      be
      supplied
      without
      abrasions
      or
      gouges
      as
      these
      can
      be
     
     
      more
      readily
      added
      at
      the
      job
      site.
     
    

    
     
      8)
      All
      hose
      tubes
      are
      to
      be
      cleaned
      free
      of
      coverings
      such
      as
      mud,
      tar,
     
     
      barnacles,
      or
      any
      form
      of
      manure
      before
      outer
      cover
      is
      added,
      as
      these
     
     
      objects
      will
      make
      lumps
      under
      the
      covering.
     
    

    
     
      9)
      All
      hose
      over
      500
      ft.
      long
      must
      have
      the
      words
      “‘long
      hose’
      clearly
     
     
      printed
      on
      each
      end
      so
      that
      the
      distributor
      will
      know
      that
      it
      is
      a
      long
     
     
      hose.
      Hose
      over
      2
      miles
      long
      must
      also
      have
      these
      words
      painted
      in
      the
     
     
      middle
      so
      that
      the
      distributor
      will
      not
      have
      to
      walk
      the
      entire
      length
      of
     
     
      the
      hose
      to
      determine
      if
      it
      is
      a
      long
      hose
      or
      not.
     
    

    
     
      10)
      All
      hose
      over
      6
      inches
      in
      diameter
      is
      to
      have
      the
      words
      “‘large
     
     
      hose’’
      painted
      on
      it,
      so
      that
      the
      distributor
      will
      not
      use
      it
      for
      small
      hose.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      15
      rules
      of
      the
      universe
     
    
   
   
    
     
      1)
      One
      out
      of
      every
      two
      game
      show
      hosts
      had
      a
      severe
      head
      injury
     
     
      as
      a
      child.
     
     
      2)
      No
      one-
      but
      no
      one-
      looks
      good
      in
      yellow.
     
     
      3)
      Doctors
      are
      required
      by
      law
      to
      be
      late
      for
      appointments.
     
     
      4)
      Home
      is
      ruled
      by
      the
      sickest
      person
      in
      it.
     
     
      5)
      Infants
      don’t
      have
      as
      much
      fun
      in
      infancy
      as
      adults
      do
      in
     
    

    
     
      adultery.
     
    

    
     
      6)
      There
      is
      never
      anybody
      at
      work
      near
      ‘‘men
      at
      work’’
      signs.
     
    

    
     
      _
      7)
      Any
      job
      is
      better
      than
      daytime
      T.V.
     
     
      8)
      Whoever
      snores
      louder
      falls
      asleep
      first.
     
     
      9)
      The
      cheque
      is
      not
      in
      the
      mail.
     
     
      10)
      Nobody
      anywhere
      has
      skin
      the
      same
      color
      as
      a
      band
      aid.
     
     
      11)
      All
      institution
      food
      is
      greasy-
      even
      the
      cornflakes.
     
     
      12)
      If
      you
      preface
      a
      joke
      by
      saying,
      ‘‘This
      is
      really
      funny’’
      it
     
     
      won’t
      be.
     
     
      13)
      The
      lotto
      is
      a
      tax
      on
      stupidity.
     
     
      14)
      Buy
      a
      kid
      an
      unbreakable
      toy
      and
      he
      will
      use
      it
      to
      break
      other
     
     
      toys.
     
     
      15)
      If
      you
      rip
      that
      silly
      tag
      off
      your
      mattress
      you’
      ll
      become
      the
     
     
      first
      person
      actually
      arrested,
      tried,
      and
      convicted
      for
      doing
      so.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (22-2)
      EUGINEELIVG
      WEEK
     
    
   
   
    
     
      (22-27)
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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      TUESDAY
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