he
      do-it-yourself
      safer
      sex
      condom
     
     
      test
      workshop
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ndoms
      ;
     
    

    
     
      ater
      based
      lubricant
      (K-Y,
      Mukko,
     
     
      troGlide,
      Wet)
     
    

    
     
      hand
     
    

    
     
      penis,
      dildo,
      cucumber
      orbanana
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Part
      One
      -
      The
      Test
     
     
      p
      one:
      Purchase
      condoms.
      Things
      to
      pay
     
     
      ntion
      to:
      -Buy
      latex,
      not
      lambskin
      con-
     
     
      ms.
      You’ll
      know
      the
      difference
      because
     
     
      bskincondoms
      cost
      about
      thirty
      dollars
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      piry
      date.
      Try
      to
      buy
      condoms
      witha
      life
     
     
      ofat
      least
      three
      or
      more
      years.
     
    

    
     
      bricated
      condoms
      for
      sex,
      non-lubricated
     
    

    
     
      doms
      for
      blow
      jobs.
     
    

    
     
      ibbed?
      Coloured?
      Extra
      large?
      Extra
     
     
      gth?
      You
      decide.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Two.
      Purchase
      lube.
      Try
      the
      drug
      stores
      for
     
     
      Jelly.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Three;
      Tearopen
      condom
      pack.
      Don’tuse
     
    

    
     
      teeth!
      Using
      your
      thumbnail,
      squish
      the
     
     
      dom
      to
      one
      side
      of
      the
      package,
      then
      tear
     
     
      Opposite
      corner.
      The
      condom
      should
      slide
     
     
      easily,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Four;
      Extend
      your
      hand,
      keeping
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      fingers
      together.
      Carefully
      unroll
      a
      condom
     
     
      down
      the
      length
      of
      your
      hand.
      Trustme
      on
      this
     
     
      one.
      Once
      youhave
      the
      condomon
      yourhand,
     
     
      whine,
      ‘‘I
      hate
      condoms.
      They’re
      too
      tight.’
     
     
      Have
      you
      recently
      had
      sex
      with
      a
      penis
      as
      big
     
     
      as
      your
      hand?
      Realize
      this
      is
      not
      a
      real
      good
     
     
      excuse
      fornotusing
      condoms.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Step
      Five:
      Whine,
      ‘‘Ican’tfeelanything
      through
     
     
      it.’
      Caress
      your
      hand
      through
      thecondom.
      Can
     
     
      you
      say
      in
      all
      honesty
      that
      you
      can’t
      feel
     
     
      anything?
      Whine,
      ‘‘It
      feels
      funny.
      It’s
      not
     
     
      natural.’’
      How
      natural
      does
      an
      easily
      prevent-
     
     
      able,
      slow,
      painful
      death
      in
      yourearly
      20s
      feel?
     
     
      ADDED
      Bonus:
      If
      you
      used
      a
      lubricated
     
     
      condom
      to
      do
      this,
      you
      won’
      tneed
      to
      use
      hand
     
     
      lotion
      fora
      while.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Step
      Six:
      Your
      choice.
      Take
      the
      condom
      off.
     
     
      Stretch
      your
      hand
      while
      still
      in
      the
      condom.
     
     
      Try
      to
      break
      the
      condomwith
      your
      nails.
      Chase
     
     
      people
      around
      and
      try
      to
      slime
      them
      with
      the
     
     
      lube.
     
    

    
     
      Part
      Two
      --
      Doing
      It
     
     
      Ifyouhavenotalready
      done
      steps
      one,
      twoand
     
     
      three
      from
      part
      one,
      please
      do
      so
      before
      pro-
     
     
      ceeding.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Step
      One:
      Get
      a
      banana,
      cucumber,
      dildo
      or
     
     
      erecthuman
      penis.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Step
      Two:
      Using
      the
      lubricant,
      squeeze
      a
      drop
     
     
      into
      the
      tip
      ofthe
      condom
      and
      squish
      it
      around
     
     
      so
      that
      it
      coats
      theinside
      of
      thecondom
      without
     
     
      unrolling
      it.
     
    

    
     
      Step
      Three:
      Squeéze
      the
      tip
      of
      the
      condomand
     
     
      gently
      roll
      it
      down
      the
      banana,
      cucumber,
     
     
      dildo,
      penis,
      etc.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Step
      Four:
      Coatthe
      inside
      of
      the
      condomwith
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      "banana,
     
     
      cucumber,
      dildo,
     
     
      penis..."
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      lubricant.
      Lube
      in
      the
      inside
      makes
      the
      con-
     
     
      dom
      better
      for
      him,
      lube.on
      the
      outside
      makes
     
     
      the
      condom
      better
      for
      whoever
      else
      might
      be
     
     
      participating
      in
      this
      endeavour.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Step
      Five:
      Masturbate.
      Have
      sex.
      Get
      used
      to
     
     
      the
      feel
      ofthe
      condoms.
      Chase
      people
      andtry
     
     
      to
      slime
      them
      with
      the
      lube.
      HAVE
      FUN!
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Robin
      Forbes
     
     
      The
      Charlatan
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
     
     
      Spectrum
      of
     
     
      risk
      |
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      behaviours
      have
      different
      levels
      of
      riskfor
     
     
      "ent
      STDs
      --
      the
      chart
      may
      (i)
      inform
      you
      how
     
    

    
     
      You
      have
      been
      inthe
      past
      and/or
      (ii)
      inform
     
     
      °wto
      protect
      yourself
      in
      the
      future.
      If--
      like
     
     
      tny
      ofuus
      --
      youare
      merely
      an
      observer
      in
      this
     
     
      itis
      also
      delightful
      trivia.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      hart
      depicts
      risk
      assuming
      no
      protection
      is
     
     
      or
      these
      behaviours.
      Using
      condoms
      lowers
     
     
      k
      of
      transmitting
      STDs
      by
      anal,
      oral,
      or
     
     
      4
      intercourse.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Receptive
      anal
     
     
      intercourse
     
    

    
     
      Insertive
      anal
      inter-
     
     
      course
     
    

    
     
      Receptive
      vaginal
      in-
     
     
      tercourse
     
    

    
     
      Incertive
      vaginal
      inter-
     
     
      course
     
    
   
   
    
     
      HIGH
      RISK
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Oral
      sex
      on
      a
      man
      with
     
     
      ejaculation
     
    

    
     
      Oral
      sex
      on
      a
      man
      with
     
     
      out
      ejaculation
     
    

    
     
      Oral
      sex
      on
      a
      woman
     
     
      Oral-anal
      contact
      (This
     
     
      is
      a
      high
      risk
      activity
     
     
      for
      hepatitis-B
      but
     
     
      relativly
      low
      risk
      over-
     
     
      all.)
     
    

    
     
      Intimate
      kissing
     
    

    
     
      Casual
      kissing
     
     
      Touching,
      massage
     
    
   
   
    
     
      LOW
      RISK
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Masturbation
     
    
   
   
    
     
      NORISK
      |
      Tatking,
      antsy
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      —
      ‘
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
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