I
      did
      not
      have
      anything
      written
      for
      my
      column
      last
      week:
      I
      do
      not
      have
      an
      excuse,
     
     
      and
      I
      will
      not
      even
      try
      to
      fabricate
      oneas
      I
      have
      done
      in
      the
      past.
      Once
      you
      start
      putting
     
     
      lies
      in
      print,
      eventually
      your
      professors,
      your
      colleagues,
      your
      employer,
      and
      others
     
     
      begin
      to
      collaborate,
      only
      to
      discover
      that
      all
      those
      days
      spent
      out
      of
      province,
      or
      in
     
     
      a
      foreign
      country,
      were
      just
      cover-ups
      for
      daily
      excursions
      to
      Cedar’s
      to
      discuss
     
     
      slacker
      philosophy
      and
      the
      anguishes
      of
      being
      part
      ofa
      generation
      we
      would
      not
      leave
     
     
      if
      given
      the
      chance.
      When
      lies
      begin
      to
      overlap
      and
      multiply
      seemingly
      on
      their
      own,
     
     
      you
      have
      a
      problem.
      I
      suggest
      therapy,
      as
      I
      do
      with
      every
      problem.
     
    

    
     
      For
      this
      issue,
      I
      have
      decided
      to
      put
      aside
      the
      horrors
      of
      my
      every
      day
      life
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      discuss
      something
      which
      affects
      every
      student
      of
      this
      university.
      I
      will
      tell
      by
      S.
      1
      ivi
      ng
      stone
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      you,
      though,
      that
      the
      oil
      slick
      has
      been
      taken
      care
      of,
      and
      my
     
    

    
     
      life
      has
      returned
      to
      a
      reasonably
      normal
      state,
     
    

    
     
      although
      my
      questions
      for
     
    

    
     
      McDonald’s
      still
      persist.
      Now
      that
     
    

    
     
      my
      personal
      life
      is
      no
      longer
      an
      obstacle
     
    

    
     
      in
      the
      writing
      of
      this
      article,
      I
      shall
      continue
      with
     
    

    
     
      the
      chosen
      topic.
      Maclean’s
      magazine
      and
      my
      continued
     
    

    
     
      campaign
      to
      have
      it
      silenced
      as
      the
      popular
      voice
      of
      the
      nation.
     
     
      Welcome
      to
      round
      #2
      in
      my
      battle
      with
      Maclean's.
     
    

    
     
      My
      contempt
      for
      Maclean’s
      lies
      in
      its
      annual
      report
      on
      universities
      across
      thg
     
     
      nation
      in
      which
      the
      University
      of
      Prince
      Edward
      Island
      usually
      is
      ranked
      near
      thé
      bottom.
      Some
      would
      say
      that
      UPEI
      deserves
      to
      be
      at
      the
      bottom
     
     
      of
      the
      barrel,
      if
      not
      dead
      last,
      but
      they
      may
      also
      agree
      with
      the
      idea
      of
      labelling/small
      undergraduate
      schools
      ‘‘decent’’
      or
      ‘‘not
      decent’’.
      Last
      year
     
     
      this
      university
      was
      ranked
      ahead
      of
      just
      one
      school
      -
      the
      University
      College
      ofCape
      Breton,
      which
      battles
      to
      keep
      itself
      from
      being
      declared
      bankrupt.
     
     
      We
      must
      thank
      Maclean’s
      for
      adding
      to
      its
      list
      this
      year
      a
      cluster
      of
      other
      upiversities
      which
      fell
      behind
      the
      ranking
      of
      UPEI.
      Thank
      you
      Maclean's.
     
     
      Your
      entire
      staff
      can
      anxiously
      await
      honourary
      degrees
      in
      our
      spring
      cgfAvocation.
     
    

    
     
      Maybe
      this
      university
      should
      have
      joined
      Carleton
      and
      Newfoundlang’s
      Memorial
      and
      opted
      out
      of
      the
      survey.
      Opinions
      certainly
      would
      not
      have
     
     
      worsened.
      If
      anything
      we
      may
      have
      been
      able
      to
      save
      ourselves
      the
      gimost
      certain
      embarrassment
      of
      being
      placed
      near
      the
      end
      of
      the
      list
      again.
      It
     
     
      is
      difficult
      enough
      trying
      to
      give
      explanations
      to
      acquaintances
      gftending
      other
      universities
      why
      one
      is
      enroled
      here
      without
      them
      producing
      a
     
     
      Maclean’s
      article
      to
      support
      their
      arguments.
      Many
      people
      just
      cghnot
      grasp
      the
      fact
      that
      most
      of
      the
      students
      at
      UPEI
      are
      here
      by
      choice.
      It
      was
      not
     
     
      a
      forced
      decision
      based
      on
      economics
      or
      high
      school
      grades.
      One
      does
      not
      have
     
    

    
     
      to.
      fear
      being
      shut
      out
      by
      graduate
      schools
      in
      the
      future
      because
      of
      a
      bachelor’s
     
    
   
   
    
     
      degree
      from
      the
      University
      of
      Prince
      Edward
      Island.
      Our
      alumni,
      which
     
     
      includes
      much
      of
      the
      faculty,
      have
      gone
      on
      to
      acquire
      graduate
      degrees
      and,
     
     
      yes,
      employment.
      .
     
     
      We
      must
      also
      thank
      Maclean’s,
      the
      so-called
      voice
      of
      the
      nation
      which
     
     
      actually
      hides
      in
      the
      shadows
      of
      Upper
      Canada,
      for
      placing
      UPEI
      in
      the
      top
     
     
      ten
      category
      of
      ‘‘school
      which
      most
      improves
      its
      students’’.
     
     
      Yes,
      the
      outstanding
      seniors
      of
      UPEI
      have
      been
     
     
      refined
      by
      this
      university.
      Without
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      university’s
      help,
      we
      would
      still
     
     
      be
      the
      collection
      of
      angry
      youth
      with
      below
      ~
     
     
      average
      grade
      point
      averages
      who
      attended
      Frosh
     
     
      Week
      ready
      to
      allow
      anarchy
      to
      take
      over
      the
      campus.
     
     
      The
      students
      of
      this
      university
      would
      like
      the
      elitist
      faction
     
     
      of
      the
      country
      to
      realize
      that
      this
      is
      a
      university
      which
      holds
      over
     
     
      one
      hundred
      years
      of
      history
      within
      its
      buildings.
      It
      is
      not
      a
      forum
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
     
     
      iz
      Ee
      a
      ie
      eS
      for
      educators
      to
      reform
      savages
      into
      academics.
     
     
      I
      may
      be
      acting
      somewhat
      harsh
      with
      Maclean’s,
      but
      |
      am
      just
     
     
      me
      C
      ial
      3
      angered
      by
      unconnected
      criteria
      used
      in
      the
      rankings
      and
      the
     
     
      magazine’s
      unnecessary
      judgements
      concerning
      publicly
      funded
     
     
      ae,
      ”
      schooling.
      If
      I
      was
      attending
      a
      privately
      funded
      university,
      the
     
     
      c
      ine
      oe
      gy
      ratings
      could
      be
      deemed
      appropriate,
      but
      for
      universities
      and
     
     
      Q
      colleges
      that
      are
      essentially
      controlled
      by
      the
      government,
      we
     
     
      must
      realize
      that
      for
      a
      relatively
      new
      university
      (UPEI
      is
     
     
      celebrating
      its
      twenty-fifth
      year
      in
      1994)
      in
      arelatively
      poor
     
     
      province,
      we
      are
      doing
      quite
      well.
      The
      University
      of
      Prince
     
     
      Edward
      Island
      plays
      an
      important
      role
      in
      the
      education
      of
     
     
      Islanders
      and
      an
      integral
      part
      in
      the
      academic
      and
      cultural
     
     
      aspect
      of
      the
      province.
      I
      will
      be
      very
      content
      to
      receive
     
     
      my
      degree
      from
      this
      university
      in
      the
      Spring,
      and
      when
     
     
      I
      do,
      the
      education
      editors
      at
      MacLean’s
      can
      kiss
      my
     
     
      aspirations.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      12/X-Press/November
      18,
      1993