eh)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      January
      21,
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Bawb
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Bill
      Clinton
      Sex
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Scandal
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      immorality
      of
      the
     
     
      American
      president
      has
     
     
      reared
      its
      hideous
      head
      once
     
     
      again
      in
      this
      highly
      hyped
     
     
      up
      scandal
      concerning
      the
     
     
      revealing
      of
      his
      genital
      area
     
     
      to
      awoman
      in
      a
      motel
      room.
     
     
      Apparently,
      the
      case
     
     
      was....uh,
      well...actually--
     
     
      Youknow,
      it’s
      the
      darnedest
     
     
      thing
      ,
      but
      last
      night
      as
      I
      was
     
     
      in
      the
      middle
      of
      watching
     
     
      the
      coverage
      of
      this
      story
      on
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      news,
      for
      this
      commen-
     
     
      tary
      that
      I
      had
      to
      do
      on
      it,
     
     
      unfortunately
      my
      dog,
      Carl
     
     
      come
      along
      and
      like
      acci-
     
     
      dentally
      changed
      the
      chan-
     
     
      nel
      on
      the
      TV
      with
      his
      paw.
     
     
      It
      was
      kind
      of
      unbelievable,
     
     
      actually,
      and
      I
      gave
      him
      a
     
     
      biscuit
      for
      doing
      it,
      but
      any-
     
     
      way,
      he
      changed
      it
      to
     
     
      Charles
      Grodin
      Live.
     
    

    
     
      Man,
      this
      has
      to
      be
      the
     
     
      funniest
      show
      on
      TV.
      Not
     
    
   
   
    
     
      because
      of
      his
      sense
      of
      hu-
     
     
      mour
      of
      course,
      but
      just
      be-
     
     
      cause
      you
      get
      to
      watch
      a
     
     
      televised
      nervous
      break-
     
     
      down
      over
      the
      ongoing
     
     
      events
      of
      the
      O.J.
      Simpson
     
     
      trial
      every
      night.
      Man
      it’s
     
     
      cool.
      Especially
      cause
      no
     
     
      one
      even
      cares
      about
      O.J.
     
     
      Simpson
      anymore.
      But
      that
     
     
      kind
      of
      got
      me
      thinking
     
     
      about
      Mister
      Rogers.
      Like,
     
     
      if
      there
      were
      ever.a
      guy
      who
     
     
      looked
      like
      he
      was
      on
      the
     
     
      verge
      of
      a
      nervous
      break-
     
     
      down,
      it
      would
      be
      him.
     
     
      The
      man’s
      like
      80
     
     
      years
      old,
      he
      obviously
      lives
     
     
      by
      himself
      in
      some
      kind
      of
     
     
      world
      of
      make
      believe,
      and
     
     
      he
      sits
      around
      and
      plays
      with
     
     
      dinkies
      and
      blocks
      all
      day
     
     
      long.
      Whoa.
      But
      you
      know,
     
     
      it
      would
      almost
      be
      different
     
     
      if
      he
      was
      good
      at
      playing
     
     
      with
      the
      blocks.
      But
      man,
     
     
      he
      sucks.
      I
      could
      build
      bet-
     
     
      ter
      than
      him
      when
      I
      was
     
    
   
   
    
     
      three
      years
      old.
     
    

    
     
      One
      time
      I
      saw
      him
     
     
      pathetically
      trying
      to
      play
     
     
      basketball
      on
      the
      show,
      and
     
     
      I’m
      telling
      you,
      I
      would
      have
     
     
      paid
      a
      lot
      of
      money
      just
      to
     
     
      see
      Shaq
      make
      a
      guest
      ap-
     
     
      pearance
      on
      that
      episode
      just
     
     
      to
      stuff
      his
      white
      ass.
      He’d
     
     
      be
      like,
      “You
      in
      my
      house
     
     
      now
      Rogers.”
      Man,
      that
     
     
      would
      be
      cool.
      Straight
      outta
     
     
      da
      hood,
      that’s
      for
      sure.
     
    

    
     
      ~
      Which
      kind
      of
      brings
     
     
      me
      to
      the
      Backstreet
      Boys.
     
     
      Uh,
      for
      one
      thing,
      these
     
     
      pretty
      boy
      preps
      do
      not
      look
     
     
      like
      they
      are
      from
      the
      back-
     
     
      street.
      When
      I
      think
      ofback-
     
     
      street
      I
      think
      of
      like
      poverty
     
     
      stricken
      old
      guys
      living
      in
     
     
      alleyways
      of
      cardboard
     
     
      boxes.
      Now,
      if
      these
      guys
     
     
      were
      called
      the
      Backstreet
     
     
      Bums,
      and
      were
      senior
      citi-
     
     
      zen
      drunkasses
      doing
      the
     
     
      Macarena,
      then
      that
      would
     
     
      make
      some
      sense,
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      would
      be
      entertaining.
      But
     
     
      they’renot.
      And
      man,
      some-
     
     
      one
      should
      just
      shoot
      them.
     
     
      Ofcourse,
      the
      thing
      is
      that
      if
     
     
      they
      were
      actually
      from
      the
     
     
      backstreet,
      then
      one
      could
     
     
      go
      to
      these
      slums,
      kill
      them,
     
     
      and
      most
      likely
      get
      away
     
     
      with
      it.
      Which
      would
      be
     
     
      mean,
      yet
      soothing
      at
      the
     
     
      same
      time.
     
    

    
     
      Unfortunately,
      how-
     
     
      ever
      they
      are
      on
      my
      TV
     
     
      screen
      instead.
      Which
      is
      not
     
     
      very
      fun.
      Oh,
      well.
      I
      guess
     
     
      soon
      their
      five
      seconds
      of
     
     
      fame
      will
      be
      over,
      and
      they
     
     
      will
      probably
      end
      up
      in
      jail
     
     
      or
      something,
      charged
      in
     
     
      some
      kind
      of
      sex
      scandal,
     
     
      like
      so
      many
      like
      them
      be-
     
     
      fore
      their
      time.
      Oh
      yeah.
      I
     
     
      forgot
      all
      about
      Bill
     
     
      Clinton’s
      dick.
      Whoa.
      Oh
     
     
      well.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      _UPEI
      Business
      Students
      Travel
      to
     
     
      Conferences
     
    
   
   
    
     
      By
      Finley
      Martin
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Twelve
      UPEI
      business
     
     
      students
      and
      one
      professor
     
     
      travelled
      to
      conferences
      in
      On-
     
     
      tario
      and
      Quebec,
      ‘early
      in
     
     
      November
      of
      1996.
      The
      stu-
     
     
      dents
      took
      part
      in
      two
      confer-
     
     
      ences
      attended
      by
      university
     
     
      students
      from
      across
      Canada.
     
    

    
     
      Six
      students
      (Shawn
     
     
      Rodgerson,
      Mark
      MacNeill,
     
     
      David
      DeBlois,
      Gerry
      Law-
     
     
      less,
      Steve
      Penney,
      and
      Shane
     
     
      MacEachern)
      and
      Professor
     
     
      Ab
      Ferris
      all
      travelled
      to
      King-
     
     
      ston,
      Ontario
      to
      the
      Queen’s
     
     
      Conference
      on
      the
      Business
     
     
      Environment
      Today
      (or
      Q-
     
     
      BET).
     
    

    
     
      Each
      of
      the
      delegates
     
     
      paid
      their
      own
      fees
      and
      rented
     
     
      a
      van
      to
      get
      to
      the
      conference.
     
     
      The
      ride
      to
      and
      from
      the
     
     
      Queen’s
      conference
      was
      said
     
    
   
   
    
     
      to
      be
      very
      enjoyable,
      espe-
     
     
      cially
      when
      “Redline”
      Ferris
     
     
      was
      behind
      the
      wheel.
     
    

    
     
      The
      conference
      _
      itself
     
     
      had
      an
      impressive
      array
      of
     
     
      speakers.
      Some
      of
      those
      speak-
     
     
      ers
      included
      Dr.
      Lloyd
     
     
      Atkinson,
      Chief
      Investment
     
     
      Strategist
      for
      Perigee
      Invest-
     
     
      ment
      Counsel
      Inc.;
      Gary
     
     
      Reinblott,
      former
      vice
      presi-
     
     
      dent
      of
      MacDonalds
      Restau-
     
     
      rants
      of
      Canada;
      Jerrie
      Fowler,
     
     
      Assistant
      Deputy
      of
      the
      Infor-
     
     
      mation
      High
      New
      Brunswick;
     
     
      and
      Ms.
      Kompston
      Drakes,
     
     
      President
      and
      General
      Man-
     
     
      ager
      of
      GM
      of
      Canada
      Ltd.
     
     
      The
      delegates
      agreed
      that
      the
     
     
      conference
      was
      a
      very
      worth-
     
     
      while
      experience
      and
      that
      they
     
     
      took
      a
      lot
      information
      back
     
     
      with
      them.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      On
      the
      same
      weekend,
     
     
      six
      other
      UPEI
      business
      stu-
     
     
      dents
      (Dale
      Proud,
      Scott
     
     
      Younker,
      Jonathan
      Mosher,
     
     
      Geoff
      Francis,
      Jonathan
     
     
      Arnette,
      and
      Finley
      Martin)
     
     
      attended
      the
      first
      annual
     
     
      Concordia
      Conference
      on
     
     
      Sports
      Marketing.
      Although
     
     
      the
      conference
      is
      in
      its
      infancy,
     
     
      it
      was
      extremely
      well
      organ-
     
     
      ized
      and
      had
      a
      strong
      turnout
     
     
      of
      Canadian
      university
      stu-
     
     
      dents
      from
      as
      far
      east
      as
      Nova
     
     
      Scotia
      and
      as
      far
      west
      as
      Al-
     
     
      berta.
     
    

    
     
      Some
      of
      the
      speakers
      at
     
     
      the
      conference
      included
      Rich-
     
     
      ard
      Pound,
      Vice
      President
      of
     
     
      the
      International
      Olympic
     
     
      Committee;
      Peter
      Loyello,
     
     
      Director
      of
      Media
      Relations
     
     
      for
      the
      Montreal
      Expos;
      Peter
     
    
   
   
    
     
      McAskille,
      President
      of
      2nd
     
     
      Dimension
      International.
      The
     
     
      conference
      concluded
      on
      Fri-
     
     
      day
      night
      with
      a
      banquet
      at
     
     
      Montreal’s
      Molson
      Hall
      with
     
     
      a
      keynote
      address
      by
      Director
     
     
      of
      Marketing
      for
      Molson
     
    
   
   
    
     
      O’Keefe
      Breweries,
      Len
     
     
      Rhodes.
     
     
      The
      UPEI
      delegates
      that
     
    
   
   
    
     
      attended
      these
      conferences
     
     
      Tee
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Phone:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Open
     
    
   
   
    
     
      TINIE
     
    
   
   
    
     
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      4
      pm-Midnight
     
     
      Sat
      Noon-Midnight
     
    
   
   
    
     
      *10%
      discount
      with
      valid
      UPEI
      Student
      1D*
     
    
   
   
    
     
      unanimously
      agreed
      that
      the
     
     
      conferences
      were
      a
      positive
     
     
      experience.
      They
      learned
      a
     
     
      lot,
      enjoyed
      themselves
      tre-
     
     
      mendously,
      and
      made
      many
     
     
      new
      friends
      in
      the
      business
     
     
      community.
      Some
      of
      the
      del-
     
     
      egates
      have
      already
      expressed
     
     
      an
      interest
      in
      returning
      to
      the
     
     
      conferences
      next
      year.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      TATTOOS
     
    
   
   
    
     
      &
     
     
      Street
      ¢
     
     
      %
     
     
      #
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ici
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      rd
      alee
      pinta
      eee
      eee
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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      thee
      atc
      irs
     
    
   
   
    
     
      stueese
      4
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SREGERESAES
     
    
   
   
    
     
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