Style
      Report:
      Social
     
     
      Misfit
      Offers
      Scathing
     
     
      Condemnation
      of
     
     
      Baseball
      Hat
      Wearers
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Jonah
      CAMPBELL
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      “They’re
      just
      idiots.
      I
      don’t
     
     
      know;
      maybe
      they
      all
      sustained
     
     
      sports-related
      head
      injuries
      as
      chil-
     
     
      dren,”
      states
      Jeff
      Stoltz,
      19,
      as
      he
      sips
     
     
      cautiously
      from
      a
      plastic
      cup
      of
      green
     
     
      tea.
     
    

    
     
      A
      new
      student
      of
      UPEI,
      Jeff,
      a
     
     
      sociology
      major,
      discovered
      upon
      his
     
     
      arrival
      that
      a
      disproportionate
      number
     
     
      of
      his
      fellow
      students
      wore
      baseball
     
     
      hats,
      and
      was
      alarmed
      by
      this
      fact.
      It
     
     
      was
      “sort
      of
      eerie,”
      he
      said,
      “because
     
     
      they
      weren’t
      even
      outdoors.
      It’s
      not
     
     
      like
      they
      were
      cold;
      it’s
      not
      like
      the
     
     
      sun’s
      in
      their
      eyes.
      I
      just
      don’t
      get
      it.”
     
    

    
     
      Hailing
      from
      Ottawa,
      where
     
     
      he
      spent
      his
      first
      two
      years
      studying
      at
     
     
      Carleton
      University,
      Jeff
      describes
      the
     
     
      transition
      from
      a
      larger
      city
      to
     
     
      Charlottetown’s
      more
      subdued
      pace
     
     
      as
      “refreshing”
      but
      “a
      little
      unnery-
     
     
      ing.”
     
    

    
     
      “TI
      was
      really
      into
      the
      idea
      of
     
     
      living
      in
      a
      small
      town
      again,
      because
      |
     
     
      grew
      up
      in
      St.
      Thomas
      [Ontario]
     
     
      where
      things
      were
      pretty
      laid
      back,
     
     
      but
      I
      didn’t
      really
      fit
      in,
      and
      felt
      I
     
     
      needed
      to
      move
      on
      to
      somewhere
      with
     
     
      a
      little
      more
      happening,
      which
      is
      why
     
     
      I
      went
      to
      Ottawa.”
      Jeff
      explains
      that
      it
     
     
      was
      the
      alienating
      effect
      of
      the
      big
     
     
      city
      that
      spurred
      him
      to
      leave
     
     
      Carleton,
      and
      that
      he
      was
      drawn
      to
     
     
      UPEI
      because
      of
      its
      small
      class
      sizes
     
     
      and
      some
      of
      his
      childhood
      memories.
     
    

    
     
      “I
      think
      I
      saw
      a
      brochure
      for
     
    
   
   
    
     
      [6]:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PEI
      once
      when
      I
      was
      little,
      but
      I
      prob-
     
     
      ably
      assumed
      it
      was
      one
      of
      those
     
     
      crazy
      islands
      out
      around
      New
      Guinea.
     
     
      But
      then
      last
      year
      a
      friend
      of
      mine
      told
     
    
   
   
    
     
      me
      about
      going
      to
      PEI
      as
      a
      kid
      and:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      swimming
      in
      the
      ocean
      and
      slicing
      his
     
     
      foot
      open
      real
      bad
      on
      a
      clam
      or
      some
     
     
      shit
      and
      having
      to
      get
      like
      twenty-
     
     
      seven
      stitches.
      It
      sounded
      really
      bad.”
     
    

    
     
      Jeff
      goes
      on
      to
      explain
      how
     
     
      his
      first
      days
      in
      class
      were
      an
      eye-
     
     
      Opening
      experience,
      “because
      there
     
     
      were
      just
      all
      these
      guys
      in
      baseball
     
     
      hats
      and
      just
      really
      stupid
      looking
     
     
      people
      and
      I
      was
      like,
      whoa!”
      He
     
     
      attributes
      his
      failure
      to
      better
      integrate
     
     
      into
      the
      student
      population
      to
      the
     
     
      overwhelming
      presence
      of
      these
     
     
      “baseball
      cap
      wearing
      yahoos”
      as
      he
     
     
      describes
      them.
      “I
      don’t
      really
      drink
     
     
      much
      but
      I’m
      pretty
      much
      afraid
      to
      go
     
     
      to
      the
      bars
      anyway,
      for
      fear
      of
      being
     
     
      beaten
      up
      by
      a
      bunch
      of
      drunken
      busi-
     
     
      ness
      students
      on
      Creatine.
      You
      know?
     
     
      I
      met
      a
      guy
      like
      that
      once.
      He
      said
      his
     
     
      dog
      was
      on
      Creatine
      too
      and
      like,
      thir-
     
     
      ty-five
      pounds
      overweight
      because
      of
     
     
      it.
      It
      was
      really
      scary.”
     
    

    
     
      At
      the
      same
      time,
      however,
     
     
      Jeff
      says
      he
      doesn’t
      want
      to
      pigeon-
     
     
      hole
      all
      people
      who
      wear
      baseball
     
     
      caps
      as
      imbeciles,
      “just
      those
      who
     
     
      aren’t
      playing
      baseball
      at
      the
      time.
     
    

    
     
      “But
      then
      I
      guess
      most
      base-
     
     
      ball
      players
      are
      probably
      imbeciles
     
     
      anyway.”
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      GAHAN
      HOUSE
     
    
   
   
    
     
      renee
      art
      icrafte
      CAA
     
    
   
   
    
     
      126
      SYDNEY
      STREET
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PUT
      THE
      GAHAN
      HOUSE
      IN
      YOUR
      HOUSE
     
    
   
   
    
     
      MAKE
      YOUR
      PARTY
      A
      HIT
      WITH
      A
     
     
      KEG
      OF
      HANDCRAFTED
      ALE
      FROM
     
     
      THE
      GAHAN
      HOUSE
      BREWERY
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ALL
      BEERS
      AVAILABLE
     
     
      DIRECT
      TO
      THE
      PUBLIC
     
    
   
   
    
     
      $8
      PLUS
      DEPOSIT
      ($5)
     
     
      $75
      PLUS
      DEPOSIT
     
     
      $200
      PLUS
      DEPOSIT
     
    
   
   
    
     
      64
      OZ
      GROWLER
     
     
      19
      LITRE
      KEG
     
     
      50
      LITRE
      KEG
     
    
   
   
    
     
      EQUIPMENT
      RENTAL
      AVAILABLE
     
     
      TO
      ORDER
      CALL
      626-BEER
      (2337)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      GAHAN
      HOUSE
      PUB
     
     
      OPEN
      DAILY
      (11
      AM
      UNTIL
      CLOSE)
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Mind
     
     
      Set
     
    
   
   
    
     
      RESEARCH
      SHOWS
      a
      link
      between
     
     
      concentration,
      learning
      behaviour
      and
     
     
      essential
      fatty
      acids,
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Learing
      Factors
      contains
      a
      balanced
      blend
     
     
      of
      all
      the
      essential
      fatty
      acids
      for
      optimal
     
     
      brain
      and
      visual
      performance.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It
      gives
      you
      something
      to
      think
      about.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CHARLOTTETOWN
     
     
      S
      Charlottetown
      Mall
     
     
      wo
      Confederation
      Court
      Mall
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Life's
      ife's
      Worth
      I
      it
      Ha
      rvect
      SUMMERSIDE:
     
    
   
   
    
     
      County
      Fair
      Mall
     
     
      Waterfront
      Place