Students: Get Mad! Parking! Sounds trivial doesn’t it? If so, the recent faculty parking proposal could be termed, ‘Trivial. Pursuit’. But, take notice. Get mad! This directly affects YOU!! Picture this: You drive to your 8:30 a.m. class in mid- January in your beat-up Pinto. The heater doesn’t work. The passenger-side door window has not been rolled up in three years. After circling campus in search of a spot, the only one you can find is at the Farmer’s Market. Already late for class, you must now run up the hill with the north wind whipping through your body. You slip on the ice and the paper you spent all night writing falls in a puddle. You then have to wade up to your knees to retrieve it. Wet, cold, and angry, you arrive at class dripping from every body cavity, totally exhauseted. Your professor on the other hand, enthusiastically bounds in, warm, dry, and rested. The mere site of this disgusts you. And why is your professor warm, dry, and rested? Because he has driven to campus in his new, posh Cadillac (which has a functional heater and windows that work) and gone directly to his reserved parking spot, only a 30 second walk from the building in which he works. Sound fictional? Maybe not. If a recent Parking Committee decision is implemented this will become a reality. The Parking Committee has recommended that new parking lot near the Vet College be entirely reserved for faculty and staff. This will, in effect, create, or more appropriately, perpetuate a double standard for students and faculty and staff. Are we, as students, prepared to accept this? You can bet you sweet ass we’re not!! It’s time for students to stand and fight for their rights. Students must be heard before an irreversible decision is made. So, make some noise! We don’t have to take this crap! Sign the Student Union petition against this recommendation. Write to the editor of the Gem. Complain to Council members. Express you disgust to the faculty and staff. Recently, when speaking to and about students, our wise president, C.W.J. Eliot proclaimed ‘‘You [the students] are the reason we [the university] exist.”” Let us ensure that this admirable statement remains the cornerstone of =e philosophy of this institution. Rob Kelley, SU President Paul Ledwell, SU V.P. Academic Letters Loophole Discovered ‘STUPID PLANT ? -. EVEN SING To You / SO WHY ARE ALL OF YOUR LEAVES, FALLING F > WHY WON'T COOPERATE WITH ME ?/ EXD HATE ae Dear Editor: I am an improverished stu- dent. I am not even sure if I have sufficient funds to survive to the end of this academic year. My sole enjoyment at UPEL is to write some honest thoughts, so my fellow stu- dents can notice my bare existence. But recently, I have become a center of contro- versy. Really, I am an agreeable person. I can stand being called mentally retarded or being described as having put my foot in my mouth. But this poor man cannot stand being put down by some doctor- lover with his undue praise of tich medical doctors. Recently, I read the entry in the Encyclopedia Britannica on smoking. It mentions, ‘‘An additional important piece of epidemiological evidence link- ing smoking to disease is the fact that as individuals give up smoking, the risk of lung cancer ... declines .... Among those who have smoked more than 20 cigarettes a day for over 20 years, a mi of WELL, IT COULD. HAVE SOMETHING To DO WITH THE FACT three years must elapse after quitting before a decreased risk of cancer is evident; more than 10 years of abstinence is necessary before the degree of risk approaches that for those who have never smoked.’” If this.is true, one way for smokers to overcome the so- called risk of lung cancer is: they can just enjoy cigarette smoking when they are young, and then they can quit smoking when they reach forty. One can always beat the system, in- cluding the risk of lung cancer. It is that simple. By realizing this, I ‘have accomplished more than most of the cancer researchers who have wasted hundreds of millions of dollars in cancer research activities. Kevin MacLean Because he was bern in parentheses, Bab had trouble developing & sense of self-worth. PLAYING THE GAME — Bring the professor newspaper clippings dealing with his subject. Demonstrate Fiery interest and give him timely items to mention to the class. If you can’t find clippings dealing with his subject, bring in any clippings at random. He thinks everything deals with his subject. — Look alert. Take notes eagerly. If you look.at your watch don’t stare at it unbelievingly and don’t shake it. — Sit in front near him (Applies only if you intend to stay awake). If your going to all the trouble of making a good im- pression, you might as well let him know who you are, especially ina large class. — Laugh at his jokes. You can tell, if he looks up from his note and smiles expectantly, he has told a joke. — Ask for outside reading. You don’t have to read it. Just ask. — If you must sleep, arrange to be called at the end of the hour. It creates an unfavorable impression if the rest of the class has left and you sit there alone dozing. — Be sure that the book you read during the lecture looks like a book from the course. If you do math in Psychology class and psychology in math class, match the books for size and color. — Ask any questions you think he can answer. Conversly avoid announcing that you have found the answer to a question that he couldn’t answer, and in your younger brothers second-grader at that. — Call attention to his writing. Produces an exquisitely plea- sant experience connected with you. If you know that he has written a book or article, ask in class if he wrote it. — If you have been absent from class, upon returning never say, ‘‘Have I missed anything?’’ The question is insulting in nearly every context but burglary. — Mention in class that his class is so much better than the others, because he makes the material so very clear — and important. He likes to hear what he already believes. The hours for the editor of the Gem will be: At the Main Building 4th floor office: Monday: 10:30 AM to 5:30 PM Tuesday: 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM In the Robertson Library student lounge: Fridays: 10:30 AM to 12:30 PM If the editor is not in the 4th floor office, submissions or messages may be left by placing through the door slot at the office or may be left at the Barn S.U.B. Submissions for the Gem should be made no later than 1 PM. Monday on the week the submission is to be published. Sub- missions should be typed and double spaced. Early submissions are much appreciated. Regular staff meetings are neg Monday at 6:00 PM at the 4th floor office. Views expressed in the Gem are not necessarily those of the Gem staff or the UPEI Student Union. The Gem is an equal opportunity newspaper. The Gem is published by the UPEI Student Union. Staff Members: Elinor Andreson, Laura Bain, Geoff Clark, Darrell Cole, James Connolly, Karen Cullen, Kaberi Dasgupta, Jayne Emery-McAskill, Lisa Goulden, Matthiew Hatvany, Anne Irving, Sandy Jardine, Kerry Lafferty, Alan MacEachern, Kim McNeill, Sam Okello, Kelly Redmond, Bonnie Ryan, Angela Seaman, Oliver Twit, Chris Vessey, Derrick Webber, Debra Wright Contributors: Inge Dorsey, Holly Good, and others omitted Advertising Manager: Danny Mullen