FEBRUARY 8, 2005 THE CADRE © 7 Ask Mr. Advice Dear Mr. Advice: I am in my second year here at UPEL and have been enjoying myself so far... Making new friends, eating pizza, leaming and stuff... Thing is, [have a couple of friends who are practically addicted to the popular Nintendo Entertainment System game “Dr. Mario.” This is understandable, as the game is a keen combination of Tetris like puzzle action and biology. My problem is that I am colorblind. Normally, I am not afraid to admit so (even though I have been made fun of for years); however, since I told my friends of my condition, they won’t let me play Nintendo Entertainment System with them. They say things like I’mnot good enough since I “can’t line up colors,” and that I’m nothing more than a “virus.” I bought my own “Dr. Mario: Colorblind Edition” (pretty much the same game, only instead of colors, you line up shades of grey), but they say it’s no fun... I’m also left handed. Please help me Mr. Advice... I cannot stand to have friends that won’t accept me for who I am, no matter what version of Dr. Mario I play. Signed, Colorblind and Homie-less Dear Colorblind: First off, I totally agree with you, in that Dr. Mario is a “keen combination of Tetris like puzzle action and biology.” Personally, I can make it to level 21 on medium speed. IfI were your friends, I probably wouldn’t want you playing Nintendo with me either. This game is serious business (I lost my first wife because of my addiction). You must understand that. To you, it may just look like arandom mess of blue and green (ifyou | can even make those colors out), but it so much more. Find out from your friends when and where they play, and let me know. Id like to join in. Also, sorry to hear that you’re left handed. I don’tknow what you expect metodo about that. Hope this helps! Iam Mr. Advice Dear Mr. Advice I’minajam. Yousee, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I don’t know what to do. Thing is, my girlfriend just broke up with me... in the summer. We had been going out for two weeks, so as you can imagine, things were getting pretty serious. We even went to the movies once, and planned on attending the big Fountain’s of Wayne concert here on the Island before it (and we) got axed. We were pretty much soul mates. I think I’m an enthusiastic young man. I enjoy riding my horse, playing darts, eating, and of course, Stacy’s Mom (she’s got it going on (a little inside joke for all you Fountain’s of Wayne fans!!!!!!)). Do you think it’s too soon to seek out a new lady to spend Valentine’s Day with? I think I’m over my last honey, but I can never be sure. If yes, should I try online services like Lavalife or Google, or should I do it the old fashioned way?? Help me Mr. Advice, you’re all Ihave. Yours truly, Dumped in Brown’s Court Dear Dumped, First question: were your parents related? If so, that would answer a lot. Second question: how did you get a girl to go out with you in the first place? Honestly. Anyway, in response to your question, no, I don’t advise you to seek someone out for Valentine’s Day. V Day (as the kids call it these days) was just a silly holiday like Mother’s Day or Christmas that store owners made up to boost sales in slow times. Don’t give in. An other reason to avoid making a date for V Day is the fact that any girl willing to go out with you (a) is as desperate as you are, and therefore, probably gross, or (b) probably costs more than you can afford. Don’t bother, Dumped in Brown’s Court. Stay home and watch Law and Order. Don’t waste my time again. Hope this helps! Iam Mr. Advice (PS. [had tickets for that concert too! What a drag it got cancelled!) Do YOU have a question for Mr. Advice? If so, send him an email at Mr_Advice UPEI@hotmail.com. You might just get an answer! Did U Know? To save a 40-foot tree, a stack of newspapers averaging 4 feet in thickness must be recycled. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks. A “necropsy” is an autopsy on animals. A 12-year-old Costa Rican girl who complained ofa tummy ache had a 17- inch hairball removed from her stomach. “Mageiricophobia’ is the intense fear of having to cook. A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat, so you can eat your plate! A father sea catfish keeps the eggs of his young in his mouth until they are ready to hatch. He will not eat until his young are born (which may take several weeks). A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months. When you rearrange the letters of “a decimal point”: I’m a Dot in Place A Holstein's spots are like a fingerprint or snowflake. No two cows have . exactly the same pattern of spots. A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4-foot tall child inside! A giraffe’s tongue can be | 1/2 feet long! Achameleon’s tongue is twice the length of its body. Check out http://www.ohmonkey.com/facts.cfm for more fun facts.