Want
      to
      make
      students
      more
     
     
      healthy?
      Then
      lower
      fucking
      tuition!
     
     
      How
      can
      somebody
      eat
      right
      when
     
     
      they
      can
      only
      afford
      Mr.
      Noodles?
      Or
     
     
      find
      time
      to
      exercise
      when
      they
      have
     
     
      to
      work
      part
      time
      and
      study?
      Or
      sleep
     
     
      when
      you’re
      so
      stressed
      out
      that
      all
     
     
      you
      daydream
      about
      is
      Friday
      and
     
     
      drinking
      yourself
      into
      a
      coma?
      Or
      quit
     
     
      smoking
      when
      that
      pack
      and
      a
      half
      a
     
     
      day
      is
      the
      only
      thing
      keeping
      you
      from
     
     
      pulling
      your
      own
      hair
      out,
      and
      fling-
     
     
      ing
      yourself
      into
      a
      hay
      bailer?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The...
      Health
      Fair
     
     
      drove
      me
      crazy.
     
     
      The
      only
      reason
      |
     
     
      went
      was
      because
     
     
      they
      had
      free
     
     
      coffee
      and
      free
     
     
      condoms.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      UPEI
      Health
      Fair
      on-
     
     
      February
      27
      drove
      me
      crazy.
      The
      only
     
     
      reason
      I
      went
      was
      because
      they
      had
     
     
      free
      coffee
      and
      free
      condoms.
      I
      seized
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Health
      Fair
      Unfair
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Thomas
      LLOYD
     
    
   
   
    
     
      dents
      to
      hand
      me
      condoms,
      and
      once
     
     
      my
      pockets
      were
      filled
      with
      lube
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      condoms,
      I
      looked
      around
      the
      fair...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      When
      I
      walked
      out
      of
      there,
      I
      wanted
     
     
      to
      set
      up
      my
      own
      both
      on
      the
      topic
      of
     
     
      “How
      Not
      to
      Have
      Fun,”
      with
      a
      pic-
     
     
      ture
      of
      Marge
      Simpson
      saying
      “Don’t
     
     
      do
      this,
      don’t
      do
      that!”
     
    
   
   
    
     
      When
      I
      walked
      out
     
     
      of
      there,
      |
      wanted
     
     
      to
      set
      up
      my
      own
     
     
      both
      on
      the
      topic
     
     
      of
      “How
      Not
      to
     
     
      Have
      Fun.”
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      fair
      didn’t
      really
      tell
      you
     
     
      not
      to
      do
      stuff,
      but
      gave
      you
      the
      facts
     
     
      on
      what
      the
      consequences
      are.
      If
      you
     
     
      smoke,
      you
      get
      cancer.
      Duh!
      Every
     
     
      action
      has
      risks
      involved
      with
      it.
     
     
      Where
      was
      the
      booth
      about
      how
      to
     
     
      cross
      the
      street
      or
      how
      to
      eat
      pretzels?
     
     
      Everyone
      knows
      that
      we
      all
      need
      to
     
     
      eat
      right
      and
      get
      lots
      of
      exercise
      and
     
     
      sleep.
      Do
      we
      constantly
      need
      to
      be
     
     
      reminded
      on
      how
      unhealthy
      we
      are?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      the
      opportunity
      for
      young-nursing-stu----And-we-allzknow-that
      there
      are
      risks
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
        
     
     
         
        
     
     
       
       
     
     
       
     
     
         
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      mt
     
    

    
     
      SUCCESSORS
      WANTED!
     
     
      :
      :
      fi
      :
     
     
      The
      Cadre
      staff
      is
      graduating,
      moving
      on,
      fleeing
      UPEI.
      Next
      —
     
     
      year’s
      Cadre
      needs
      new
      staff—treporters,
      sports/new/A&E/copy
     
     
      editors,
      production/distribution/advertising
      folks,
      you
      name
      it.
     
     
      Impress
      your
      parents,
      friends
      and
      future
      employers!
      Apply
      for
     
     
      the
      swanky
      newspaper
      position
      of
      your
      choice
      today,
      and
      you
     
    
   
   
    
     
      could
      be
      telling
      people
      where
      to
      get
      off—in
      print!
      See
      page
      19
     
     
      for
      more
      details,
      or
      stop
      by
      The
      Cadre
      for
      more
      information.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      U
      PE}
     
    
   
   
    
     
      STUDENT
      NEWSPAPER
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
    
   
   
    
     
      s
      :
      *
     
     
      2EBAE
      EEE
      4
      AABALE
      EM
      ERAEEATA
      AAD
      AABELABBRAAAEAADAAMAABATAARABEVE
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      involved
      in
      smoking,
      drinking,
      doing
     
     
      drugs,
      having
      sex,
      getting
      STDs,
      get-
     
     
      ting
      pregnant,
      and
      not
      eating
      right.
     
     
      We’re
      not
      stupid.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      If
      you
      smoke,
      you
     
     
      get
      cancer.
      Duh!
     
    
   
   
    
     
      One
      slant
      on
      the
      session
      that
      I
     
     
      wanted
      to
      see
      was
      the
      cost
      of
      having
     
     
      these
      habits.
      I
      know
      that
      a
      pack
      and
      a
     
     
      half
      a
      day
      cost
      $75
      a
      week,
      but
      how
     
     
      much
      does
      it
      cost
      to
      eat
      healthily?
      I
     
     
      mean,
      how
      many
      food
      groups
      are
     
     
      there
      now?
      Four?
      There
      should
      be
      a
     
     
      student
      food
      guide,
      which
      has
      chips
     
     
      and
      snack
      food,
      Mr.
      Noodles
      and
     
     
      cheap
      pasta,
      drinkables
      (booze),
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      Bisa,
      whirae
      capping
      goa
     
    
   
   
    
     
      smokables
      (smokes).
      Being
      unhealthy
     
     
      is
      inherent
      with
      going
      to
      school,
      and
     
     
      that’s
      the
      sad
      truth.
     
    

    
     
      So
      in
      the
      end
      my
      life
      wasn’t
     
     
      altered,
      and
      I
      left
      the
      fair
      with
      a
      stock-
     
     
      pile
      of
      condoms.
      I
      already
      knew
      that
      I
     
     
      was
      unhealthy,
      and
      that
      I’m
      at
      risk
      for
     
     
      heart
      disease,
      and
      that
      my
      lungs
      look
     
     
      gross.
      I
      know
      not
      to
      do
      drugs,
      but
      now
     
     
      I
      know
      how
      to
      clean
      needles.
      I
      didn’t
     
     
      know
      if
      I
      was
      at
      university
      or
      if
      I
      had
     
     
      stumbled
      into
      an
      elementary
      school
     
     
      science
      fair.
      Just
      a
      bunch
      of
      cute
      nurs-
     
     
      es
      doing
      projects,
      and
      a
      few
      visiting
     
     
      guests.
      One
      of
      the
      few
      things
      I
      learned
     
     
      there
      was
      from
      a
      booklet
      on
      sex,
      and
      it
     
     
      offered
      this
      advice:
      “Try
      putting
      lube
     
     
      inside
      your
      condom,
      it
      feels
      soooo
     
     
      good!”
      All
      right,
      I’ll
      have
      to
      try
      that.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      13)