initely
      Not
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      QAALC
     
    
   
   
    
     
           
     
    
   
   
    
     
      This
      Week:
      Would
      You
      Belive...
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Starring
      Don
      Adams,
      Sylvia
     
     
      Kirstel,
      Dana
      Elcar
     
     
      Directed
      by
      Clive
      Donner
     
     
      90
      minutes,
      1980
     
    
   
   
    
     
      With
      our
      intrepid
      B-movie
      expert
     
     
      Trent
      Drake
      somewhere
      in
      Ontario,
      and
     
     
      seeing
      as
      I
      haven’t
      watched
      any
      good
     
     
      classic
      films
      lately,
      I’ve
      decided
      to
      try
      to
     
     
      pick
      up
      the
      slack
      on
      the
      B-movie
      review
     
     
      front.
      This
      is
      not
      intended
      to
      replace
     
     
      Turkey
      Dinner
      --
      hopefully
      our
      resident
     
     
      lupine
      reviewer
      will
      be
      back
      and
      writing
     
     
      columns
      before
      long.
     
    

    
     
      Most
      of
      you
      will
      remember
      Get
     
     
      Smart,
      that
      zany
      secret
      agent
      spoof
      show
     
     
      from
      the
      late
      sixties.
      It’s
      still
      running
      in
     
     
      syndication
      on
      cable.
      As
      well,
      there’s
      a
     
     
      new
      series
      with
      some
      of
      the
      same
      charac-
     
     
      ters.
      For
      those
      who
      don’t
      remember,
      Don
     
     
      Adams
      starred
      as
      Maxwell
      Smart,
      the
     
     
      bumbling
      but
      eternally
      lucky
      Agent
      86,
     
     
      who
      always
      managed
      to
      thwart
      the
      fiendish
     
     
      plans
      of
      KAOS.
      More
      recently,
      Adams
     
     
      provided
      the
      voice
      of
      Inspector
      Gadget
      in
     
     
      the
      cartoon
      of
      the
      same
      name.
     
    

    
     
      In
      the
      movie,
      KAOS
      has
      built
      a
     
     
      weapon
      that
      will
      destroy
      all
      the
      fabric
      in
     
     
      the
      world,
      rendering
      everyone
      nude.
     
     
      What’s
      more,
      if
      they
      don’t
      get
      a
      rent
     
     
      payment
      of
      ten
      billion
      dollars
      per
      week,
     
     
      they
      will
      use
      this
      nude
      bomb.
      Who
      is
      the
     
     
      agent
      to
      stop
      them?
      The
      Chief
      and
      various
     
     
      officials
      consult
      the
      supercomputer
      which
     
     
      will
      tell
      them
      the
      right
      agent
      for
      the
      job.
     
     
      The
      machine
      calculates
      for
      a
      moment,
      then
     
     
      gives
      its
      choice
      --
      Agent
      86.
      The
      Chief
      is
     
     
      not
      amused.
     
    

    
     
      Max
      and
      a
      large
      cast
      of
      other
     
     
      operatives
      get
      right
      to
      work,
      and
      leads
     
     
      abound.
      The
      investigation
      takes
      Max
      to
     
     
      New
      York,
      Los
      Angeles,
      and
      Switzerland.
     
     
      Soon
      he
      starts
      getting
      close,
      and
      the
      fabric
     
     
      of
      the
      KAOS
      scheme
      starts
      to
      unravel.
     
     
      Will
      Max
      thwart
      the
      evil
      plans
      of
      the
     
     
      enemy,
      or
      will
      KAOS
      finally
      succeed
      and
     
     
      take
      over
      the
      world?
      Anyone
      care
      to
     
     
      venture
      a
      guess?
     
    

    
     
      This
      comical
      romp
      of
      a
      movie
      is
      too
     
     
      silly
      to
      be
      believed,
      but
      so
      was
      the
      show.
     
     
      In
      a
      nutshell,
      The
      Return
      of
      Maxwell
      Smart
     
    
   
   
    
     
      is
      a
      quadruple-length
      episode
      of
      the
      show
      -
     
    
   
   
    
     
      with
      a
      big
      budget.
      This
      allows
      some
     
     
      impressive
      stunts
      and
      gimmicks.
      Max
     
     
      jumps
      out
      a
      of
      plane
      with
      a
      score
      of
      KAOS
     
     
      paratroopers
      chasing
      him.
      He
      goes
      skiing
     
    
   
   
    
     
      imnem
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Marko
      Peric
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Return
      of
      Maxwell
      Smart
     
    
   
   
    
     
      in
      Switzerland.
      He
      chases
      a
      KAOS
      boss
     
     
      through
      the
      Universal
      Studios
      Theme
      Park
     
     
      on
      a
      tour
      bus.
      The
      gadgets
      used
      are
      plenty
     
     
      of
      fun.
      The
      supercomputer
      needs
      a
      quarter
     
     
      before
      it
      will
      work.
      Max’s
      turbocharged
     
     
      desk
      can
      do
      80
      mph
      and
      is
      armed
      with
     
     
      machine
      guns
      --
      this
      makes
      for
      a
      fun
      chase
     
     
      scene
      towards
      the
      end
      of
      the
      movie.
      I
     
     
      won’t
      bother
      discussing
      the
      shoe
      phone
     
     
      (with
      touch-tone
      dialling,
      a
      big
      deal
      fifteen
     
     
      years
      ago),
      the
      ski-boot
      phone,
      or
      the
      shoe
     
     
      answering
      machine.
     
    

    
     
      Silliness
      is
      the
      order
      of
      the
      day.
     
     
      Most
      of
      the
      trademark
      cliches
      from
      the
     
     
      series
      are
      easily
      found,
      from
      ‘‘Would
      you
     
     
      believe?’
      to
      ‘‘Sorry
      about
      that
      chief.’
     
     
      The
      only
      one
      skipped
      is
      ‘‘Missed
      it
      by
      that
     
     
      much,”’
      but
      they
      do
      manage
      to
      throw
      in
      a
     
     
      corruption
      of
      said
      phrase.
      The
      unlucky
     
     
      Agent
      13
      is
      back
      in
      full
      force,
      and
      shows
     
     
      up
      in
      an
      overhead
      baggage
      compartment,
      a
     
     
      filing
      cabinet,
      and
      a
      toilet.
     
    

    
     
      The
      acting
      is
      not
      particularly
     
     
      inspired,
      but
      one
      does
      not
      demand
      Law-
     
     
      rence
      Ollivier
      for
      this
      type
      of
      flick.
      Adams
     
     
      is
      fine
      in
      the
      starring
      role,
      Sylvia
      Kirstel
      is
     
     
      adequate
      as
      his
      partner
      Agent
      22,
      and
      Dana
     
     
      Elcar
      shines
      as
      the
      Chief.
      Many
      of
      you
     
     
      will
      remember
      Elcar
      from
      MacGuyver,
     
     
      where
      he
      played
      (shock)
      a
      secret
      service
     
     
      chief.
      This
      must
      be
      his
      specialty.
      The
     
     
      most
      notable
      absence
      in
      the
      acting
      depart-
     
     
      ment
      is
      Barbara
      Feldon
      as
      Agent
      99.
      No
     
     
      mention
      is
      made
      of
      her,
      which
      is
      a
      pity.
     
     
      The
      relationship
      between
      Max
      and
      his
      new
     
     
      partner
      has
      to
      be
      hyped
      to
      make
      things
     
     
      work.
     
    

    
     
      Feldon
      is
      not
      the
      only
      person
      from
     
     
      the
      series
      not
      present
      in
      the
      movie.
      Mel
     
     
      Brooks
      is
      nowhere
      to
      be
      found,
      not
      even
      in
     
     
      the
      end
      credits.
      I
      get
      the
      impression
      that
     
     
      this
      project
      went
      on
      without
      the
      series
     
     
      creator’s
      approval.
      That
      might
      be
      for
      the
     
     
      better,
      though
      --
      Robin
      Hood:
      Men
      in
     
     
      Tights
      (a
      movie
      that
      I’ve
      heard
      so
      many
     
     
      bad
      reports
      of
      that
      I
      won’t
      watch
      it)
      springs
     
     
      to
      mind.
     
    

    
     
      -
      Should
      you
      watch
      The
      Return
      of
     
     
      Maxwell
      Smart?
      That
      depends.
      This
      brand
     
    
   
   
    
     
      _
      of
      humour
      is
      not
      for
      everyone.
      If
      you
      liked
     
     
      Get
      Smart,
      odds
      are
      that
      the
      movie
      will
      suit
      —
     
    
   
   
    
     
      your
      tastes.
      On
      the
      other
      hand,
      if
      you
     
     
      thought
      that
      the
      original
      series
      was
      insipid
     
     
      and
      stupid,
      steer
      clear
      of
      this
      movie.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Panther
      Prints
     
    
   
   
    
     
      November
      14
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sex,
      Love,
      and
      Infidelity
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      David
      MacDonald
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      UPEI
      Theatre
      Society
      is
      prepar-
     
     
      ing
      for
      their
      new
      fall
      productions
      this
      year,
     
     
      and
      with
      the
      theme
      being
      Sex,
      Love
      and
     
     
      Infidelity,
      it’s
      bound
      to
      be
      an
      intriging
     
     
      group
      of
      plays.
      There
      are
      three
      plays,
      all
     
     
      one-act
      comedies,
      ranging
      from
      older
     
     
      works
      to
      more
      comtempary
      ones.
     
    

    
     
      The
      three
      directors
      involved
      are
     
     
      Christopher
      Michaud,
      Carly
      MacKinnon
     
     
      and
      Geraldine
      Quinn.
      Michaud,
      who
      is
     
     
      directing
      Sganarelle
      by
      Moliere,
      is
      in-
     
     
      volved
      in
      directing
      for
      the
      first
      time.
      He
     
     
      says
      ‘‘I
      saw
      this
      as
      an
      opprotunity
      to
     
     
      attempt
      something
      new
      for
      me,
      a
      challenge
     
     
      I’ve
      been
      looking
      for.’’
      Although
      this
      is
     
     
      his
      first
      time
      directing,
      he
      has
      had
      acting
     
     
      experince,
      being
      in
      a
      high
      school
      produc-
     
     
      tion
      of
      Romeo
      and
      Juliet,
      as
      well
      as
      a
      two-
     
     
      year
      stint
      as
      a
      Father
      of
      Confederation.
     
    

    
     
      MacKinnon,
      who
      is
      directing
     
     
      George
      Bernard
      Shaw’s
      play
      Overruled,
     
     
      has
      had
      a
      little
      more
      experince
      in
      the
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -
      director’s
      chair,
      having
      once
      directed
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      high
      school
      production
      of
      Hamlet.
      Carly
     
     
      has
      her
      reasons
      for
      wanting
      to
      do
      this
     
     
      particular
      play.
      She
      wanted
      to
      do
      some-
     
     
      thing
      that
      was
      lighthearted
      and
      that
      had
      a
     
     
      small
      cast
      to
      work
      with.
      She
      ended
      up
      with
     
     
      Overruled
      because
      ‘‘He
      is
      such
      a
      well-
     
     
      known
      playwright
      and
      because
      I
      just
     
     
      couldn’t
      stop
      laughing
      as
      I
      read
      it!’’
      Carly
     
     
      has
      aspirations
      to
      continue
      in
      this
      particular
     
     
      field,
      saying
      that
      her
      dream
      is
      to
      someday
     
     
      direct
      feature
      films,
      and
      to
      maybe
      work
      for
     
     
      Jim
      Henson
      Productions.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Quinn
      is
      directing
      the
      play
      Salve
     
     
      Regina,
      a
      modern
      work
      by
      New
      Zealand
     
     
      playwright
      Edward
      Bowman.
      Quinn,
      who
     
     
      is
      an
      exchange
      student
      from
      Australia,
      says
     
     
      that
      it
      was
      a
      stroke
      of
      good
      luck
      to
      come
     
     
      across
      this
      particular
      play,
      saying
      that
      it
     
     
      was
      a
      good
      opprotunity
      to
      show
      audinces
      a
     
     
      play
      whose
      origin
      is
      other
      than
      North
     
     
      America.
      Geraldine
      has
      had
      experince
      in
     
     
      the
      theatre
      back
      when
      she
      was
      in
     
     
      Austrailia,
      as
      a
      member
      of
      the
      Stonnington
     
     
      Theatre
      Company
      in
      Melbourne
      for
      two
     
     
      years,
      as
      an
      actor.
      She
      also
      produced
      a
     
     
      company
      production
      of
      Peter
      Shaffer’s
     
     
      Equus,
      but
      this
      is
      her
      first
      time
      directing.
     
     
      She
      says
      ‘‘I
      have
      been
      pressured
      to
      direct
     
     
      by
      my
      colleagues
      at
      home,
      and
      would
     
     
      scarcely
      have
      considered
      it
      likely
      that
      the
     
     
      first
      time
      I
      locked
      horns
      with
      the
      director’s
     
     
      chair
      was
      to
      be
      halfway
      across
      the
      world.’
     
    

    
     
      What
      have
      the
      three
      directors
     
     
      learned
      about
      this
      experince?
      Michaud
     
     
      says
      that
      directing
      requires
      a
      lot
      of
      imagi-
     
     
      nation
      on
      the
      director
      as
      well
      as
      the
     
     
      director,
      saying
      that
      while
      he
      wouldn’t
     
     
      recommend
      it
      for
      everyone,
      it’s
      a
      lot
      of
     
     
      fun,
      and
      hard
      work.
      MacKinnon
      says
      that
     
     
      with
      this
      experince,
      she
      has
      more
      respect
     
     
      for
      others
      in
      this
      profession,
      and
      she
     
     
      realizes
      that
      she
      wants
      to
      be
      a
      part
      of
      it.
     
     
      Finally,
      Quinn
      says
      she
      is
      grateful
      to
      strech
     
     
      her
      directorial
      limbs
      here,
      as
      well
      as
      being
     
     
      able
      to
      learn
      more
      from
      experinced
      people
     
     
      in
      the
      theatre.
     
    

    
     
      Sex,
      Love
      and
      Infidelity:
      An
      Evening
     
     
      of
      One-Act
      Comedies
      is
      playing
      on
      Novem-
     
     
      ber
      17,
      18,
      19
      at
      8:00
      pm
      in
      the
      Steel
     
     
      Recital
      Hall.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sound
      Bites
     
    
   
   
    
     
      by
      Lorne
      Caborn
     
    
   
   
    
     
      I’m
      back
      to
      review
      another
      set
      of
      CDs,
      some
      good,
      some
      bad,
      and
      others
      not
      worthy
     
     
      of
      mention.
      I'll
      start
      this
      week
      off
      on
      a
      positive
      note
      as
      Toronto
      natives
      Bass
      is
      Base
      are
     
     
      back
      with
      another
      funk
      infused
      CD.
      Memories
      of
      the
      Soulshack
      Survivors
      is
      the
      group’s
     
     
      much-anticipated
      second
      offering
      and
      they
      don’t
      disappoint.
      Fans
      of
      Digable
      Planets
      and
     
     
      De
      La
      Soul
      will
      love
      the
      hyped
      up
      sound,
      and
      appearances
      by
      the
      Barenaked
      Ladies,
     
     
      Sarah
      McLachlan
      and
      the
      Dream
      Warriors
      make
      it
      a
      must
      for
      music
      fans.
     
    

    
     
      Jimmy
      George
      offers
      those
      with
      no
      taste
      something
      to
      listen
      to.
      The
      eight
      piece
     
     
      pop/rock/celtic/punk
      band
      spreads
      itself
      too
      thin
      for
      anyone
      to
      enjoy
      Hotel
      Motel,
      the
     
     
      Ottawa
      band’s
      second
      release.
      Most
      of
      the
      songs
      sound
      like
      bad
      Weird
      Al
      polka
      tunes.
      If
     
     
      you
      pick
      this
      one
      up,
      don’t
      say
      I
      didn’t
      warn
      you.
     
    

    
     
      What's
      Inside
      is
      the
      newest
      CD
      for
      R&B
      mainstay
      Joan
      Armatrading.
      With
      soft
     
     
      melodies
      and
      beautifully
      written
      ballads,
      it’s
      a
      shame
      she
      doesn’t
      have
      a
      voice
      to
      compare.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Most
      of
      the
      songs
      are
      ruined
      this
      way
      while
      a
     
     
      whole
      I’m
      afraid
      I
      can’t
      recommend
      this
      one.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      few
      survived
      the
      lyrical
      beatings.
      Ona
      =
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Celtic
      rock
      group
      Oysterband
      have
      put
      out
      their
      eighth
      disc,
      The
      Shouting:
      —
     
     
      End
      of
      Life.
      Traditionalists
      won’t
      find
      this
      one
      very
      entertaining
      and
      I
      was
      personally
      oi
     
     
      disappointed
      by
      their
      remake
      of
      ‘‘Lovers
      in
      a
      Dangerous
      Time’’.
      It
      still
      offered
      some
     
     
      tracks
      worth
      a
      second
      listen,
      but
      I
      would
      still
      prefer
      to
      hear
      them
      live
      with
      a
      few
      drinks
      to
      _
     
    
   
   
    
     
      cloud
      my
      judgement.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Those
      who
      have
      listened
      to
      everything
      that
      Enigma
      has
      to
      offer
      may
      want
      to
     
     
      check
      out
      Timeless
      from
      Goldie.
      Not
      as
      good
      as
      Enigma,
      but
      comparable,
      the
      disc
      takes
     
     
      UK
      house
      and
      transforms
      it
      into
      soothing
      New
      Age.
      I
      hope
      something
      catches
      your
      eye
     
     
      this
      week
      and
      if
      not
      be
      sure
      to
      catch
      the
      next
      edition
      of
      Sounds
      Bites.