It
      looks
      so
     
    
   
   
    
     
      easy,
      but
     
     
      damn
      I
     
     
      couldn’t
      do
     
    
   
   
    
     
      wt
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Source:
      The
      Brock
     
     
      Press
      (Brock
     
    
   
   
    
     
      University)
     
     
      By
      Adam
      Hall
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ST;
     
     
      CATHARINES
     
     
      (CUP)
      -
      Goofy
     
     
      looking
      pants
      and
     
     
      a
      fat
      ass
      may
     
     
      describe
      the
     
     
      person
      you
      picked
     
     
      up
      at
      the
      bar
      last
     
     
      night,
      but
      it
      also
     
     
      describes
      the
      way
     
     
      many
      people
      look
     
     
      at
      the
      sport
      of
     
     
      golf.
     
    

    
     
      Some
     
     
      people
      think
      of
     
     
      golf
      as
      one
      of
      the
     
     
      world’s
      most
     
     
      unattractive
     
     
      sports.
      I
      mean,
     
     
      why
      chase
      around
     
     
      a
      little
      white
      ball?
     
     
      It
      seems
      pointless.
     
    

    
     
      These
     
     
      same
      people
      feel
     
     
      that
      professional
     
     
      golfers
      aren’t
     
     
      making
      a
      living,
     
     
      they
      are
      making
     
     
      fools
      of
      them-
     
     
      selves.
     
    

    
     
      These
     
     
      critics
      also
      tend
      to
     
     
      believe
      that,
      if
     
     
      they
      chose
      to,
      they
     
     
      could
      be
      as
      good
     
     
      as
      any
      of
      the
     
     
      professional
     
     
      players
      they
      see
      on
     
     
      television.
      How
     
     
      hard
      is
      it
      to
      hit
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
      little
      white
      ball,
     
     
      anyway?
     
    

    
     
      For
      those
     
     
      of
      you
      who
      ap-
     
     
      proach
      the
      game
     
     
      this
      way,
      I
      chal-
     
     
      lenge
      you
      to
      drop
     
     
      a
      ball
      and
      try
      your
     
     
      best
      to
      hit
      it
      300
     
     
      yards
      down
      the
     
     
      middle
      of
      a
      fair-
     
     
      way.
     
    

    
     
      These
     
     
      professionals
      that
     
     
      you
      see
      on
      televi-
     
     
      sion
      aren’t
      just
     
     
      having
      fun,
      they
     
     
      make
      a
      living
      off
     
     
      the
      sport.
      And
      just
     
     
      like
      everyone
      else
     
     
      they
      take
      their
      job
     
     
      very
      seriously.
     
    

    
     
      Recently
      I
     
     
      had
      an
      opportu-
     
     
      nity
      to
      use
      my
     
     
      press
      privileges
      to
     
     
      pick
      up
      a
      three-
     
     
      day
      pass
      to
      watch
     
     
      the
      Bell
      Canadian
     
     
      Open.
     
    

    
     
      This
      is
      a
     
     
      stop
      on
      the
      Pro-
     
     
      fessional
      Golf
     
     
      Association
      tour
     
     
      that
      took
      place
      in
     
     
      Oakville
      at
      Glenn
     
     
      Abbey
      Golf
      and
     
     
      Country
      Club.
     
    

    
     
      This
      was
     
     
      an
      opportunity
      for
     
     
      me
      to
      realize,
      first
     
     
      of
      all,
      how
      horri-
     
     
      ble
      I
      actually
      am
     
     
      at
      golf,
      and
      sec-
     
     
      ondly,
      how
      the
     
     
      lifestyle
      of
      a
      golfer
     
     
      is
      not
      always
      as
     
     
      much
      fun
      as
      I
      had
     
     
      at
      first
      anticipated.
     
    

    
     
      I
      assumed
     
     
      these
      golfers
      were
     
    
   
   
    
     
      like
      all
      regular
     
    
   
   
    
     
      swinging
      hacks
     
     
      would
      go
      out
      and
     
     
      play
      their
      round
      of
     
     
      golf
      and
      after-
     
     
      wards
      take
      turns
     
     
      buying
      rounds
      for
     
     
      one
      another
      in
      the
     
     
      clubhouse.
     
    

    
     
      To
      my
     
     
      surprise,
      their
      job
     
     
      was
      taken
      much
     
     
      more
      seriously
     
     
      then
      I
      had
      ever
     
     
      anticipated.
     
    

    
     
      ;
      The
     
     
      players
      would
      get
     
     
      up
      at
      approxi-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ‘mately
      6:30
      a.m.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      and
      proceed
      to
      hit
     
     
      a
      bucket
      of
      balls
      at
     
     
      the
      driving
      range.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      They
     
    
   
   
    
     
      would
      then
      head
     
    
   
   
    
     
      to
      the
      course,
      play
     
     
      18
      holes
      of
      golf
     
     
      and
      after
      they
      had
     
     
      completed
      their
     
     
      round,
      would
      go
     
     
      back
      to
      the
      driv-
     
     
      ing
      range
      and
      do
     
     
      it
      all
      over
      again.
     
     
      For
      any-
     
     
      one
      who
      thinks
     
     
      that
      golfers
      live
     
     
      the
      easy
      life,
      try
     
     
      being
      away
      from
     
     
      your
      family
      10
     
     
      months
      of
      the
     
     
      year,
      constantly
     
     
      stuck
      in
      a
      plane.
     
     
      After
     
     
      seeing
      the
      effort
     
     
      these
      professionals
     
     
      put
      into
      their
     
     
      sport,
      I
      came
      to
     
     
      the
      realization
      that
     
     
      maybe
      the
      players
     
     
      that
      are
      constantly
     
     
      on
      top,
      pulling
      in
     
     
      hundreds
      of
     
     
      thousands
      of
     
     
      dollars
      each
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Ge
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tournament,
      are
     
     
      not
      living
      the
      life
     
     
      of
      the
      average
     
     
      PGA
      tour
      pro.
     
    

    
     
      I
      also
     
     
      learned
      that
      the
     
     
      lifestyle
      might
     
     
      not
      be
      as
      easy
      as
     
     
      I
      had
      first
      ex-
     
     
      pected,
      and
      that
     
     
      the
      average
     
     
      golfer
      in
      goofy
     
     
      pants
      and
      a
      fat
     
     
      ass
      cannot
      and
     
     
      will
      not
      reach
     
     
      the
      professional
     
     
      level.