Your
      Monthly
      Horoscope
     
    
   
   
    
     
      |
      By
      Count
      Roderick
      Cornelius
     
     
      MacMillanheimerstein
      Il
      and
      The
      Scurvy
      Sid
     
     
      Singers
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Aries:
      (March
      21—April
      19)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Remember
      this
      month
      that
      you
      can't
      squeeze
      blood
      from
      a
      stone.
      You
      can,
      how-
     
     
      ever,
      squeeze
      blood
      from
      the
      mice
      living
      in
      the
      campus
      dorms.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Taurus:
      (April
      20—May
      20)
      |
     
     
      Don't
      judge
      a
      man
      until
      you've
      walked
      a
      mile
      in
      his
      shoes.
      But
      if
      you
      don't
      have
     
     
      time
      for
      that,
      spend
      a
      couple
      of
      minutes
      smelling
      his
      Mom's
      underpants.t
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Gemini:
      (May
      21—June
      21)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      There
      is
      no
      need
      to
      worry
      about
      school
      pressures
      aging
      you
      before
      your
      time.
     
     
      Leprosy
      will
      take
      care
      of
      that
      long
      before
      school
      will.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Cancer:
      (June
      22—July
      22)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      stars
      say
      this
      week
      that
      you'll
      swallow
      a
      fly.
      I
      don't
      know
      why
      you'll
      swal-
     
     
      low
      a
      fly.
      I
      guess
      you'll
      die.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Leo:
      (July
      23—Aug.
      22)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Your
      palms
      will
      become
      considerably
      hairier
      this
      month
      and
      you
      know
      full
      well
     
     
      why.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Virgo:
      (Aug.
      23—Sept.
      22)
     
     
      They
      say
      that
      money
      is
      the
      root
      of
      all
      evil.
      Luckily,
      considering
      how
      much
      stu-
     
     
      dent
      loan
      debt
      you've
      placed
      yourself
      into,
      you're
      destined
      for
      sainthood.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Libra:
      (Sept.
      23—Oct.
      23)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      This
      week
      your
      dreams
      will
      finally
      come
      true.
      Specifically,
      the
      dream
      about
      the
     
     
      giant
      flaming
      eyeball
      penetrating
      your
      anus
      while
      singing
      old
      show
      tunes.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Scorpio:
      (Oct.
      24—Nov.
      21)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It's
      time
      to
      make
      your
      move
      towards
      that
      special
      someone.
      After
      all,
      your
     
     
      Grandfather's
      boar
      is
      getting
      older
      each
      day
      (and
      more
      succulent).
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sagittarius:
      (Nov.
      22—Dec.
      21)
     
     
      Try
      something
      new,
      like
      bridge
      jumping.
      Specifically
      bridge
      jumping.
      Actually,
     
    
   
   
    
     
      those
      loan
      sharks
      you've
      been
      avoiding
      are
      going
      to
      push
      you
      off
      a
      bridge.
      Sorry.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Capricorn:
      (Dec.
      22—Jan.
      19)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      You're
      lucky
      number
      this
      week
      is
      8,
      which
      is
      also
      the
      number
      of
      times
      you'll
      bite
     
    
   
   
    
     
      your
      cheek
      after
      you've
      eaten
      your
      twelfth
      hotdog
      that
      day.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Aquarius:
      (Jan.
      20—Feb.
      18)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Work
      towards
      fostering
      a
      sense
      of
      community
      spirit.
      Gather
      several
      hundred
      of
     
    
   
   
    
     
      your
      closest
      friends,
      smash
      some
      windows
      and
      loot
      some
      community
      businesses.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Pisces:
      (Feb.
      19—March
      20)
     
    
   
   
    
     
      It
      will
      sting
      when
      someone
      close
      to
      you
      says
      that
      your
      popularity
      won't
      make
     
     
      you
      loved.
      However,
      don't
      listen
      to
      him,
      you're
      not
      actually
      popular.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      A.
      Ee
      RE
      Ee
      RS
      RAR
      RL
      CE
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      UPEI
      Tip-To-Tip
      Challenge
     
     
      By
      Dr.
      Shannon
      Murry
     
    
   
   
    
     
      On
      October
      18
      and
      19,
      faculty,
      staff,
     
     
      students,
      alumni
      and
      friends
      will
      cover
     
     
      the
      Island
      from
      tip-to-tip
      to
      raise
     
     
      money
      for
      the
      Faculty
      Association
     
     
      Scholarship
      fund.
      The
      event
      is
      a
      fund-
     
     
      raising
      relay
      meant
      to
      show
      support
     
     
      for
      student
      funding
      at
      the
      same
      time
      as
     
     
      it
      shows
      the
      University's
      dedication
      to
     
     
      wellness
      and
      to
      representing
      the
      whole
     
     
      province.
      What
      other
      Canadian
     
     
      University
      would
      cover
      its
      province
     
     
      for
      its
      students?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Most
      of
      the
      route
      is
      on
      the
      beautiful
     
     
      Confederation
      Trail.
      Participants
      will
     
     
      start
      at
      North
      Cape
      and
      East
      Point
     
     
      simultaneously
      —
      at
      noon
      on
      the
     
     
      Eighteenth
      —
      and
      runners,
      walkers
      and
     
     
      cyclists
      will
      work
      their
      way
      towards
     
     
      the
      University,
      passing
      on
      a
      PEI
      tartan
     
     
      sash
      to
      the
      next
      group
      of
      runners,
     
     
      walkers
      or
      cyclists.
      A
      "Command
     
     
      Central"
      at
      the
      Charlottetown
      Mall
      will
     
     
      track
      the
      progress
      of
      both
      groups.
      The
     
    
   
   
    
     
      OCTOBER
      18-19,
      2002
     
    
   
   
    
     
      event
      will
      end
      at
      6
      on
      the
      Nineteenth
     
     
      with
      a
      barbeque
      (hosted
      by
      the
     
     
      Biology
      Club)
      and
      celebration
      as
      two
     
     
      halves
      of
      the
      relay
      works
      its
      way
      to
     
     
      towards
      Charlottetown.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Everyone
      is
      invited
      to
      participate,
      and
     
     
      there
      are
      long,
      medium,
      and
      short
      dis-
     
     
      tances
      mapped
      out.
      Take
      a
      look
      at
      the
     
     
      chart
      on
      the
      Bulletin
      Board
      beside
      the
     
     
      Main
      Building
      Faculty
      Lounge.
     
     
      Participants
      pay
      a
      $25
      registration
      fee
     
     
      and
      are
      asked
      to
      raise
      another
      $25
      in
     
     
      sponsorships.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      event
      is
      looking
      for
      even
      more
     
     
      participants,
      so
      get
      some
      friends
     
     
      together
      or
      go
      one
      your
      own,
      cover
      a
     
     
      part
      of
      the
      Island
      and
      raise
      money
      for
     
     
      a
      good
      cause
      --
      UPEI's
      students.
     
     
      Anyone
      interested
      should
      reach
     
     
      Shannon
      Murray
      (566-0404
      or
      smur-
     
     
      ray@upei.ca)
      and
      she'll
      arrange
      a
     
     
      route
      with
      you.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Sign
      up
      your
      legs
      for
      the
      Tip-to-tip
      Relay
      Challenge:
     
     
      Biking,
      Walking,
      and
      Running
      for
      UPEI.
      Write
      to
     
     
      Shannon
      Murray
      (smurray@upei.ca)
      or
      call
      566-0404
     
     
      for
      more
      information.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ALT]