Win;
      the
      holidays
      approaching
      like
      some
      creepy
     
     
      homeless
      guy
      with
      a
      bologna
      sandwich,
      you
      feel
     
     
      uncertain,
      stupid,
      and
      ashamed
      because
      you
      don't
     
     
      have
      a
      sweet
      clue
      what
      fo
      give
      your
      loved
      ones.
     
    

    
     
      Has
      WalMart
      sold
      out
      of
      TickleMe£lmo
      Dolls
      already?
     
     
      Have
      you
      been
      banned
      from
      Zeller's
      for
      shoplifting
     
     
      Martha
      Stewart
      napkin
      rings?
      Are
      you
      worried
      that
     
     
      you'll
      be
      spending
      this
      white
      Christmas
      alone
      because
     
     
      you
      couldn't
      find
      the
      right
      gift
      for
      your
      cocaine
      buddies?
     
     
      Well
      stop
      sweating,
      you
      oily
      rag
      of
      stink,
      and
      let
     
     
      Coolbreeze
      be
      your
      guide
      fo
      last
      minute
      Christmas
     
    
   
   
    
     
      shopping.