pets
     
    
   
   
    
     
      i
      once
      had
      a
      hamster
     
    

    
     
      i
      think
      his
      name
      was
      bruce
     
    

    
     
      i
      tossed
      him
      in
      a
      barbecue
     
    

    
     
      and
      washed
      him
      down
      with
      juice
     
    
   
   
    
     
      once
      i
      had
      a
      puppy
      dog
     
    

    
     
      he
      loved
      to
      go
      out
      barking
     
    

    
     
      iran
      over
      him
      with
      my
      truck
      one
      day
     
     
      and
      now
      he
      enjoys
      parking
     
    
   
   
    
     
      i
      had
      a
      little
      kitty
      cat
     
    

    
     
      i
      treated
      the
      bastard
      well
     
    

    
     
      i
      dropped
      her
      off
      a
      building
     
    

    
     
      now
      the
      bastard’s
      burning
      in
      hell
     
    
   
   
    
     
      i
      used
      to
      have
      a
      big
      fat
      cow
     
     
      who
      gave
      milk
      whenever
      i
      wanted
     
    
   
   
    
     
      one
      day
      i
      wanted
      a
      hamburger
     
     
      and
      now
      my
      barn
      is
      haunted
     
    
   
   
    
     
      pets.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      -Stephan
      MacLeod
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ei}