Cold as Hell : | _ PEOPLE F EARTH! _ Gotta Prcbient? 
     
    
   
   
    
     Weather details on page 43 We tone Eton, bi higly ee Odds Against You? 
     
     ; s from anothér world ’ . Need Help? 
     
     GETTA LIFE y REST TANCE IS USELESS! Call 
     
     Te Getelld kearonee Comma § BUY A FOOTON BEFORE IT IS The Equalizer 
     
     TOO LATE! 555-7111 
     
     ° 
     
    
   
   
    
     (We fix student elections) 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Volume 7 Number / Thursday, April 13,1989 
     
    
   
   
    
     Security Receives : Lees Bribe 
     
     ee { q| Story on ~: 
     
    
   
   
    
     Grenade 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Launcher 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     “It Came from 
     
    
   
   
    
     Chocolate DA, @ Bae wn Nowhere!” 
     
     Pudding . 
     
    
   
   
    
     From Cafeterial CU Student Swallowed By 
     
    
   
   
    
     Leaps up and Massive Mud Puddle 
     
    
   
   
    
     Tries to 
     
    
   
   
    
     Suffocate 
     
     Unsuspecting 
     
    
   
   
    
     Eater New Security 
     
     Students Perform Satanic Rituals: Frosh Virgins R . 
     
     adio Tower 
     
    
   
   
    
     Student Sacrificed to the “Beenie God From the Barn” 
     
     Falling in Story On os: 
     
     Love With . _ 
     
     Goal Post | 
     
    

    
     Admitted to 
     
    
   
   
    
     Ward Nine 
     
     of Hospital 
     
    
   
   
    
     Maintenance says 
     
     Story Orie. Weed