FEBRUARY 20, 1970 THE + by, Mike McGaughey VARIETY SHOW SMASH HIT The 1970 UPEI Winter Carnival variety show has been considered by the student body and the public in general as being the most enjoyable carnival event and an unquali- fied success overall. Due to the tremendous support it re- received at the box office an unscheduled second perfor- mance was presented immediately following the first for the benefit of those people who were unable to view the premiere owing to a lack of adequate seating space. The show lived up to its “Variety” heading as it in fact ‘ did present a great variety of acts ranging from folksy type singing to far out 'humaor. As a whole, the show followed a “Laugh-In” format and starred “Dick and Jane” as mas- ters of ceremonies and fill-in humorists. The basic format was, however, overshadowed by the rest of the show as many of the jokes and gags ’used were either considered to be off—color or just not funny. The remaining acts were the salvation of the show. All the musical entertainment was superbly presented and exe— cuted to the utter joy and satisfaction of the entire audience and the audience voiced it’s approval by calling the entire troupe back for several curtain-calls to the accompaniment of a standing ovation. Recently I conducted a poll to determine the most pop- ular comedy acts in the show. Topping this poll by a nar- row margin was “Captain Bearheart’s Little Leaguers” star- ring Jim Hornby and the Bear Party/ Education Committee who did their famous rendition of “The Blimp”. Following closely were “The Ballay Dancers,” “The Telephone Opera- tor,” “The Dirty Old Man,” and “Twink” Michaels as Bugs Bunny in the show-opening‘number “This Is It”. 1 Obviously congratulations are in order to all those who made the show the success it was. So to all those who wrote, performed, and worked behind the scenes we say simply “Thank You”. ‘ MISSED CONNECTION Of all the events that did come off in the 1970 Carnival, the most disappointing flop was the so—called Feature En- HOW RIGHT YOU ARE UNIVERSITY OF PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND tertainment. This feeling of disgust was almost universal among those who had purchased Carnival Passes and was especially prevalent among those who paid $2.50 for tickets to the main entertainment only. John Hammond who opened the show was totally unap- preciated by all, myself included. Although he brought forth more sounds from a guitar than most of us even imagined existed, he just simply was not entertaining to 99% of’ the audience although he received polite token applause. It was quite obvious that the majority of the numbers were his own compositions since it is highly unlikely that anyone in his right mind would present such crap had it been the com- position of some other artist. Hammond received a tremen- dous ovation when his act ended as the audience were glad to get rid of him and not because of any great appreciation of his works. Ester Marrow was the real star of the show and was it’s one redeeming factor. Each number met with a tremendous well-deserved round of applause. The most popular number Ester Marrow performed was her version of “Hey Jude” which appeared to be greatly appreciated by all. The ultimate disappointment appeared in the form of the top billed “Rotary Connection” from Chicago. This group (and here I use the term ‘group’ in the loosest sense) turned out to be our one-night $2,500 White—elephant. They seemed to take the attitude that “We’re only playing down here in the sticks so we don’t have to be good anyway” and their performance certainly indicated that they had taken this at- titude to heart. Included among the long list of complaints were the allegations that the band was too loud and that they didn’t sing a decent song. With this type of reaction and our limited entertain- ment budget many people have suggested and even strongly advocated eliminating this Feature Entertainment from the Carnival. This suggestion was accompanied by a further suggestion that it be replaced by a second performance of the variety show. CONSPIRACY CHARGES DIM CARNIVAL’S SUCCESS Charges of conspiracy to ruin the Winter Carnival were levelled against the weather by representatives of the Win- k PAGE 9 ter Carnival Committee and the student body. Due to inclement weather the scheduled Torchlight Par- , ade was cancelled. This must have been a supreme let-down for those interest groups that had planned to enter a float in the mammoth procession. Many people felt that the par- ade should have been rescheduled instead of being scrubbed entirely. A suggestion was made to the effect that the par- ade should have taken place on the night of and immediately preceding the variety Show. However rumor has it that an abbreviated version of the torchlight parade did in fact take place on the night in question. Certain reliable witnesses report seeing two figures trudging down the Malpeque Road with a solitary torch sputtering in the rain. These reliable sources report that many motorists joined in the spirit of the occasion by blowing their horns at these two as they journeyed both to and from the K-Mart. Other events made impossible by this alledged conspir- acy by the weather included snow-sculpturing, the Grand Prix, and the Midnight Skate and Bonfire. A further cancellation not due to the weather was the “Leg Auction” which was cancelled oddly enough due to a severe shortage of legs. Notes By The Wayside . . .Our special sports issue seemed to be well received. It received no criticism at all, which is a first for this paper. It must be difficult to disagree with sports reporting or something. . . .Everybody is invited to attend the hearings being held by the Commission of Injuiry into the Non-Medical Use of Drugs and to make submissions either signed or anonymous as to the extent that Islanders use or are involved with var- ious drugs. The drugs in question include narcotics as well as hallucinogenic and other psychotropic drugs or substan- ces. It could be interesting“ Time and Place: Confederation Centre Lecture Theatre, Saturday, Feb. 21. COMING SOON Results of food poll on Malpeque Campus (Residence Students). " I get by with”a little help from my friends i by Karl M. This week I would like to address myself to an oft-maligned subject ;—smut; In a word which is becoming increasingly intolerant of almost every- thing, it is our duty to protect those areas which render man his vicarious pleasure. Profound satis- faction from direct participation is and never has been probable. Hone-sit and healthy relationships be- tween individuals are not likely to exist in the mind of the individuals, but never simultaneously. Thus is the origin of what we call male chauvin- ism~an institution founded on the principle that if you " can’t trust the female of the Species then you must place her in a dominated protected environ- ment which will insure her fidelity. The insidious aspect of this kind of domination is that the female actually thinks that her nest (a la birds) was c’on- structed by her mate to protect her and provide her with enVironmental security. This is further demonstrated in the codes for moral action. It is not clear that the male has a different code because they have established the roles that are to be accepted? Thus woman’s libera- tion under present conditions only means further exploitation namely sexual exploitation. If however the female fails to resignize her status she will then continue to misconstrue the essential nature of the male intent in the relationship. The male is obses- sed with achieving a conquest and a surrender from the female— perhaps an attitude induced by our historical reverence of militarism. Consequently the - female is on the defensive in any heterosexual rela- tionship — a position she has not chosen but has been forced to take for obvious reasons. Let us briefly examine a typical relationship with an eye for uncovering the weapons'which are used against the female. First if you are endowed with the requisite equipment i.e. a body and a fate conducive to trapping the man» of Your dreams then you can proceed to step two. Those lacking either or both of above mention-edl characteristics please move back two spaces. We will get back to you later! Now have you ever heard this one: If you really loved me you would go to bed with me. Also note the pained plaintive look on his face. Most girls after enough pleading will succumb. However where they make their mistake is that they also proceed to have in- terco‘uvrise with him. They are utterly convinced that he shares the same feelings toward her. If the wom- an says no; then that where you less well-endowed girls come in: you are not a higly valued commodity on the market so your selling feature lies in the fact that you are more prone to compromising yourself than the others. Ask yourself why the “in” guy i when slightly shot will always direct his affections toward the “Plain Janes... Just for laugh —— ask that twit next to you at the show if he would like to go to BEDDY—BY with you. However before you do this make sure that you bring a roll of toilet paper and a hanky to wipe~ off the drool —- both for obvious reasons! Then just as you are getting into bed ; ask him: “What are you doing this for, you chauvinistic bastard?” If he is completely bewildered then you know that the poor dope is purely a product of male role theory: Also a profuse apology indicates that he is employing a tactic to overcome your obvious frigidity! However if he understands your test then you have a guy with whom you can have an honest and growing re- ~cuso This is your last chance to join the C.U.S.O. volunteers overseas working side by side with the peoples in the Third World, striv- I ing to develop and modernize the Third World countries. It’s a job which offers you a true life experience you’ll never forget or regret! The door is open to You For information and applications see: lationship. Most girls lack the guts to confront the male and easily succumb to confusing needs (e.g. security) and the feeling that you are wanted. The jaded preamble was concocted to explode the myth that there is anything valuable in concoct- ed relationships. The ritualistic defeat of the female in the sexual dimension is repeated solely to revive , the essence of the inherent domination. When the sexual act becomes the object of the relationship: then the female herself becoms less than a “love ob- j ect”. She simply becomes the means to satiate the end. If this is not “raison d’etre” in life than you must tell the exploiter to get his Hugh Hefner cata- logue and order himself a plastic dummy instead of using you for that sole purpose. Love is not sing- ularly sex and a woman is not solely a Love-Mach- ine! So read smut Hefner and Susann, because we ain’t buying your line anymore. Let’s get on with the strippers show! MR. JOE O’CONNELL, Department of Economics, UPEI BEA KEAVENY, 281 Kent St., Charlottetown 4-4913