GUIDE
      FOR
      THE
      WEEK
      AHEAD
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
         
     
     
         
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
        
     
     
       
     
     
          
     
     
          
     
     
        
     
    
   
   
    
     
      AQUARIUS
      (JAN
      21-FEB
      18)
     
    

    
     
      Use
      your
      charismatic
      powers
      to
      your
      advan-
     
     
      tage.
      Remember
      to
      keep
      your
      sharp
      wit
      in
      check
     
     
      because
      it
      might
      slash
      at
      tender
      egos.
      A
      pal
     
     
      might
      feel
      the
      strain
      of
      life,
      so
      lenda
      waterproof
     
     
      shoulder
      to
      the
      weepy
      one.
      Keep
      your
      infinite
     
     
      knowledge
      in
      check,
      however.
      The
      whole
      world
     
     
      does
      not
      live
      according
      to
      your
      beliefs.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PISCES
      (FEB
      19-MAR
      20)
     
    

    
     
      University
      angst
      ails
      those
      who
      await
      its
      arrival:
     
     
      Unfortunately,
      your
      imaginative
      powers
      create
     
     
      problems
      which
      do
      not
      exist
      in
      the
      real
      world.
     
     
      In
      simpler
      terms
      --
      try
      to
      be
      happy,
      dammit.
     
     
      Enjoy
      this
      stressless
      state
      while
      you
      can.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ARIES
      (MAR
      21-APR
      20)
     
    

    
     
      Has
      your
      independent
      streak
      dumped
      on
      you
     
     
      again?
      Why
      is
      it
      so
      hard
      to
      admit
      that
      you
      are
     
     
      hot
      invincible
      and
      that
      you
      (sometimes)
      have
      to
     
     
      depend
      on
      others
      for
      emotional
      support?
      Come
     
     
      on,
      lighten
      up.
      There
      is
      no
      divine
      law
      which
     
     
      Slates
      that
      you
      must
      solve
      everything
      on
      your
     
     
      °wn.
      Communication
      works
      --
      try
      it
      sometime.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      AURUS
      (APR
      21-MAY
      21)
     
     
      leld
      not
      to
      amorous
      temptation,
      unless
      you
      are
     
     
      bsolutely
      sure
      what
      youare
      getting
      into.
      Stress
     
    
   
   
    
     
      EMINI
      (MAY
      22-JUNE
      21)
     
     
      ‘Tut
      your
      stuff,
      gemmi
      ol’
      kid.
      This
      week
      is
     
     
      fect
      for
      crazy
      adventures.
      Discontinue
      any
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Fc
      Processes
      which
      involve
      depression
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Co
     
    
   
   
    
     
      i
      Unters,
      so
      take
      advantage
      of
      a
      primo
      situa-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      —
      (JUNE
      22-JULY
      23)
     
    

    
     
      bi
      —o
      of
      your
      shell,
      babe.
      Even
      crustaceans
     
    

    
     
      we
      very
      once
      in
      a
      while.
      Dreaming
      is
      reality
     
    

    
     
      aa
      are
      asleep;
      not
      while
      you
      are
      crawling
     
    

    
     
      the
      's
      heated
      globe.
      Do
      something
      exciting
     
     
      daylight
      and
      maybe
      life
      will
      be
      more
      than
     
    
   
   
    
     
      80
      wild.
      Now
      is
      el
      excellenta
      for
      amorous
      -
     
    
   
   
    
     
      just
      tolerable.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      LEO
      (JUL
      23-AUG
      23)
     
    

    
     
      You
      are
      Leo;
      hear
      you
      roar.
      Have
      you
      ever
      tried
     
     
      to
      converse
      quietly?
      How
      about
      listening
      in-
     
     
      stead
      of
      bellowing?
      Maybe
      others
      have
      some-
     
     
      thing
      interesting
      to
      contribute.
      You
      can
      at
      least
     
     
      refrain
      from
      yawning
      if
      you’re
      bored
      with
      their
     
     
      opinions,
      okay?
     
    
   
   
    
     
      VIRGO
      (AUG
      24-SEPT
      23)
     
    

    
     
      News
      flash
      --
      Others
      do
      not
      exist
      solely
      to
      pay
     
     
      homage
      to
      your
      greatness.
      Refrain
      from
      exhib-
     
     
      iting
      your
      discriminating
      quirks
      and
      maybe
     
     
      others
      will
      appreciate
      your
      opinion
      more.
      I.e.,
     
     
      don’t
      be
      so
      darn
      picky.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      LIBRA
      (SEPT
      24-OCT
      23)
     
    

    
     
      Don’t
      fall
      into
      an
      immaculate
      setup.
      Be
      wary
      of
     
     
      ill-advised
      counsel.
      Irony
      plays
      a
      key
      role
      in
     
     
      your
      adventures
      this
      week,
      so
      be
      wary
      of
      its
     
     
      presence.
      Don’t
      be
      overly
      cautious,
      however,
     
     
      because
      you
      might
      miss
      out
      on
      some
      prime
     
     
      adventures.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SCORPIO
      (OCT
      24-NOV
      22)
     
    

    
     
      Get
      lots
      of
      beauty
      sleep
      this
      week
      --
      you’1l
      need
     
     
      the
      extra
      energy
      in
      the
      forthcoming
      future.
     
     
      Ambition
      does
      not
      need
      to
      be
      exhibited
      as
      a
     
     
      daily
      ritual.
      Set
      realistic
      goals.
      It’s
      the
      only
      way
     
     
      to
      make
      your
      desired
      future
      a
      reality.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      SAGITTARIUS
      (NOV
      23-DEC
      21)
     
    

    
     
      Must
      you
      be
      so
      deceptive?
      Don’t
      you
      realize
      by
     
     
      now
      that
      this
      stratagem
      does
      not
      work?
      Clue
      in,
     
     
      babe.
      The
      only
      way
      to
      capture
      the
      interest
      of
     
     
      that
      significant
      other
      is
      through
      (gasp!)
      honest
     
     
      interaction.
      Give
      it
      a
      whirl
      --
      you’ve
      already
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tried
      everything
      else.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      CAPRICORN
      (DEC
      22-JAN
      21)
     
    

    
     
      Crash
      your
      immaculate
      exterior
      and
      let
      loose!
     
     
      Like
      the
      commercial
      says,
      life
      is
      short;
      get
     
     
      busy.
      Cut
      the
      cool
      facade
      and
      introduce
      people
     
     
      to
      your
      evil
      twin.
      Who
      knows,
      you
      might
      like
     
     
      life’s
      angle
      from
      your
      bad
      side.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      In
      our
      last
      issue
      of
      the
      Y-Press,
      the
      above
     
     
      picture,
      an
      excerpt
      from
      Madonna's
      Sex,
      raised
     
     
      some
      unintended
      controversy.
      Contrary
      to
      popu-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      lar
      belief,
      the
      person
      on
      the
      left
      is
      actually
      a
     
     
      man,
      as
      you
      can
      see.
      But
      what
      if
      it
      wasn't?
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      THE
      PROBLEM
     
     
      WITH
     
     
      WOMEN
      IN
     
     
      THE
      MEDIA
     
     
      S..
     
    
   
   
    
     
      there
      arent
     
     
      enough
      of
      us.
     
     
      Write
      for
      the
     
     
      XPress.