The
      Panther
      Prints
      é
     
    
   
   
    
     
      April
      1,
      1997
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      FYP:
      Road
      to
      the
      Finals
     
     
      by
      Finley
      Martin
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Spring
      is
      in
      the
      air.
      The
      snow
      is
      slowly
      melting,
      the
      sun
     
     
      is
      shining
      justa
      little
      bit
      brighter,
      and
      the
      Five
      Year
      Plan
      isin
      full
     
     
      bloom.
      With
      only
      one
      win
      standing
      in
      the
      way
      of
      the
      champi-
     
     
      onship
      final,
      the
      FYP
      played
      Dream
      Team
      4.
      Acting
      team
     
     
      spokesman
      Dave
      Christian
      returned
      to
      the
      roster
      adding
      some
     
     
      defensive
      prowess,
      wind,
      and
      energy
      to
      the
      team.
      With
      Rick
     
     
      Millard
      unstoppable
      in
      the
      paint,
      bombing
      squad-leader
      Geoff
     
     
      Smith
      on
      target,
      Dico
      Reyers
      in
      fine
      form,
      and
      the
      high
      flying
     
     
      rebounding
      of
      Dale
      Tingley,
      Finley
      Martin,
      and
      Krishna
      Singh,
     
     
      Dream
      Team
      4
      could
      not
      help
      but
      be
      steam
      rolled
      by
      the
      FYP.
     
     
      The
      team
      won
      the
      game
      and
      will
      move
      on
      to
      the
      finals.
     
    

    
     
      In
      preparation
      for
      the
      Championship
      Final,
      the
      Five
      Year
     
     
      Plan
      has
      enrolled
      in
      a
      vigorous
      training
      program.
      The
      program,
     
     
      developed
      by
      team
      spiritual
      advisor
      Greg
      Fraser,
      consists
      of
     
     
      strenuous
      mental
      excercises
      and
      a
      high
      fibre
      diet.
      Acting
      team
     
     
      spokesman
      Dave
      Christian
      commented
      “We
      were
      in
      a
      bit
      of
      a
     
     
      rut
      and
      we
      finally
      decided
      to
      get
      ourselves
      back
      into
      the
      shape
     
     
      we
      were
      in
      earlier
      this
      year.”
     
    

    
     
      In
      other
      FYP
      news,
      the
      Cultural
      Centre
      is
      in
      jeopardy
      of
     
     
      being
      demolished.
      City
      health
      inspectors
      made
      a
      surprise
      visit
     
     
      to
      the
      centre
      last
      Saturday
      night.
      After
      an
      exhausting
      evalua-
     
     
      tion
      of
      the
      building,
      they
      found
      that
      it
      was
      both
      unfit
      and
      unsafe
     
     
      for
      any
      normal
      person.
      The
      FYP
      is
      now
      accepting
      donations
     
     
      to
      keep
      the
      centre
      alive.
      All
      donations
      can
      be
      sent
      to
      Dico
     
     
      Reyers.
     
    

    
     
      Pat
      Perry’s
      new
      book
      is
      due
      to
      be
      released
      later
      this
     
     
      ’
      week.
      The
      book,
      entitled
      “The
      Pat
      Perry
      Experience:
      Living
     
     
      Inside
      the
      FYP
      Machine”,
      chronicles
      the
      life
      and
      times
      of
      the
     
     
      Five
      Year
      Plan
      throught
      the
      eyes
      of
      one
      of
      its
      members.
      The
     
     
      book
      has
      already
      caused
      a
      stir
      among
      some
      of
      the
      other
      team
     
     
      members.
      Geoff
      Smith
      has
      already
      gone
      on
      record
      as
      saying
     
     
      that
      much
      of
      the
      book
      is
      grossly
      exagerated.
      Profits
      from
      the
     
     
      book:
      will
      go
      towards
      the
      renovations
      to
      the
      FYP
      Cultural
     
     
      Centre.
     
    

    
     
      For
      more
      info
      on
      the
      Five
      Year
      Plan
      visit
      their
      website
      at
     
     
      http://www.peionline.com/fyp
      or
      email
      them
      at
     
     
      fanmail@peionline.com.
      [Fag
      a
      WEREWOLF,
      1M
     
    

    
     
      ALWAYS
      ON
      MY
      GUARD
     
     
      AGAINST
      SiLVER
      BULLETS
     
     
      THE
      FULL
      MOON,
      ANGRY
     
     
      ToRCH-
      eines
      NG
     
     
      Qu"
      EASANTS..
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Dear
      Readers...
      \
      O-
      4)
     
     
      ee
     
    
   
   
    
     
      a
      i
     
     
      No
      Comics
     
     
      eK
      his
     
    
   
   
    
     
        
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      °
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      VDP
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      e
      Oj
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Roel
      this
      nla
      |
      OE
      a
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Canadians
     
    
   
   
    
     
      in
     
     
      Haiti
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      financially
      troubled
     
     
      nation
      of
      Haiti
      will
      continue
      to
     
     
      be
      generously
      aided
      by
      Cana-
     
     
      dian
      forces
      until
      the
      end
      of
      the
     
     
      year,
      despite
      unending
      diffi-
     
     
      culties
      with
      ruthless
      political
     
     
      uprisings
      and
      demonstrations.
     
     
      But,
      you
      know
      who’s
      a
      dick?
     
     
      Ebert.
      Roger
      Ebert.
      Yes,
      I
     
     
      know,
      some
      people
      hate
      Siskel,
     
     
      others
      think
      that
      both
      men
      are
     
     
      okay,
      but
       me--Ebert?
     
     
      Pplbbiplibl.
      I
      mean,
      just
      look
      at
     
     
      the
      name,
      for
      God’s
      sake.
     
     
      Ebert.
      It’s
      just
      enough
      to
      an-
     
     
      noy
      the
      crap
      out
      of
      anyone.
     
     
      And
      the
      guy’s
      just
      this
      pa-
     
     
      thetic,
      googly-eyed,
      white
     
     
      haired,
      round-assed,
      dick-
     
     
      lookin
      guy.
      Like,
      no
      wonder
      he
     
     
      like,
      never
      gives
      a
      “thumbs
      up’
     
     
      to
      a
      movie--cause
      he’s
      got
     
     
      both
      of
      them
      shoved
      up
      his
     
     
      ass.
      Perhaps
      that’s
      why
      he’s
     
     
      such
      an
      anal
      retentive
      ass.
     
    

    
     
      Okay,
      so
      I’mjust
      a
      little
     
     
      perturbed
      at
      him
      ever
      since
      I
     
     
      saw
      it
      one
      time
      when
      he
      like,
     
     
      majorly
      cut
      up
      that
      Kids
      in
      the
     
     
      Hall
      movie.
      The
      nerve
      of
      that
     
     
      bastard.
      That
      would
      just
      rock
     
     
      so
      much
      ass
      though,
      if
      he
      and
     
     
      Siskel
      just
      got
      in
      this
      huge
     
     
      brawl
      over
      some
      movie
      disa-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      IY
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      PETER?
     
    

    
     
      WERE
      READY
     
    

    
     
      FOR
      YoU
     
     
      Now.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      <j
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      COC
      CLeeeD
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      greement
      some
      day.
      Especially
     
     
      if
      the
      movie
      was
      like
      some-
     
     
      thing
      like,
      uh,
      That
      Darn
      Cat,
     
     
      or
      something.
      Yes,
      I
      can
      just
     
     
      see
      the
      movie
      reviews
      now:
     
     
      “Siskel
      gave
      it
      5
      punches
      up,
     
     
      while
      Ebert
      gave
      it
      an
      out-
     
     
      standing
      2
      headbutts,
      and
      a
     
     
      suplex!”
      I
      mean,
      everyone’s
     
     
      just
      waiting
      for
      something
      like
     
     
      that
      to
      happen.
      Along
      with,
      of
     
     
      course,
      the
      occurrence
      of
     
     
      them
      also
      finally
      coming
      out
      of
     
     
      the
      closet.
      We
      all
      know
      that’s
     
     
      gonna
      happen.
     
    

    
     
      But,
      tell
      methis.
      What’s
     
     
      up
      with
      Shreddies?
      Like,
      isn’t
     
     
      there
      some
      way
      they
      can
      make
     
     
      them
      so
      that
      they
      don’t
      turn
     
     
      into
      like,
      soggy
      pieces
      of
      crap
     
     
      after
      only
      having
      milk
      on
      them
     
     
      for
      like
      a
      minute
      or
      so?
      It
     
     
      seems
      I
      always
      have
      to
      like
     
     
      wage
      war
      with
      the
      Shreddies
     
     
      in
      order
      to
      engulf
      them
      before
     
     
      they
      get
      all
      big
      and
      soggy
      and
     
     
      crappy.
      What’s
      with
      that?
     
     
      That’s
      no
      way
      to
      eat
      break-
     
     
      fast.
      It’s
      preposterous.
     
    

    
     
      Ah,
      yes,
      and
      I
      must
      in-
     
     
      form
      you
      that
      I,
      Bawb,
      have
     
     
      received
      several
      complaints
     
     
      over
      the
      past
      while
      about
      this
     
     
      column
      thingy
      that
      I
      do,
      and
      in
     
    
   
   
    
     
      LYCANTHROPE
      TE
      <7
      sysev
     
    
   
   
    
     
      particular,
      my
      style
      of
      writing.
     
     
      Well,
      first
      of
      all,
      I
      guess
      some
     
     
      people
      like
      think
      I
      use
      the
      word
     
     
      “like”
      like
      too
      much
      in
      my
      like
     
     
      article
      thingys.
      Which,
      of
     
     
      course,
      I
      have
      like
      no
      clue
     
     
      whatsoever
      as
      to
      what
      they’re
     
     
      like
      talkin
      about
      and
      stuff.
      Ri-
     
     
      diculous.
      But
      the
      other,
      most
     
     
      far
      out
      complaint
      I
      got
      was
     
     
      that
      I
      don’t
      seem
      to
      stay
      like
      on
     
     
      topic
      too
      well
      or
      something
      in
     
     
      my
      columns.
      Like,
      they
      say
     
     
      that
      I’ll
      like
      give
      a
      subject
      for
     
     
      the
      article,
      and
      then
      talk
      about
     
     
      it
      fora
      bit,
      but
      then
      like
      go
      off
     
     
      onto
      completely
      different
      other
     
     
      subjects
      that
      have
      nothing
      to
     
     
      do
      with
      the
      title
      of
      the
      column.
     
     
      I
      can’t
      believe
      this.
      Like,
      that
     
     
      would
      be
      like
      saying
      that
      I
     
     
      would
      like
      give
      a
      title,
      like,
      uh,
     
     
      “Canadians
      in
      Haiti,”
      for
      ex-
     
     
      ample;
      then
      say
      a
      few
      words
     
     
      on
      this
      subject,
      but
      then
      like
     
     
      start
      talking
      about
      all
      this
      other
     
     
      stuff,
      like,
      uh,
      Siskel
      and
      Ebert,
     
     
      or
      Shreddies,
      or
      some
      kinda
     
     
      crazy
      stufflike
      that.
      Man,
      peo-
     
     
      ple
      these
      days.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ..Like,
      this
      was
      like
      written
     
     
      by
      like
      Te
      odd
      MacLean
      and
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Stuff
      ;
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
      °CUP
      Graphic:
      The
      Fulcrum