12
      ARTS
      AND
      ENTERTAINMENT
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Rude
      Mechanicals:
     
     
      as
      Rude
      as
      they
      wanna
      be
     
    
   
   
    
     
      In
      this
      era
      of
      megacute
     
     
      boy
      bands
      and
      shiny,
      spicy
     
     
      girl
      bands
      sweeping
      the
     
     
      airwaves
      with
      their
      sugar
     
     
      donut
      lyrics
      and
      hopscotch
     
     
      melodies,
      it’s
      refreshing
      to
     
     
      find
      a
      group
      of
      artists
      who
      are
     
     
      in
      it
      for
      what's
      really
      impor-
     
    
   
   
    
     
      tant.
     
    

    
     
      Gedder
      India.
     
    

    
     
      Of
      course,
      I’m
      refer-
     
     
      ring
      to
      the
      Rude
      Mechanicals
     
     
      —
      Charlottetown’s
      own
      hot-
     
     
      test
      hotties.
      I
      had
      the
      oppor-
     
     
      tunity
      to
      catch
      up
      with
      ied
     
     
      strapping
      young
      men
      mid-
     
     
      way
      into
      their
      latest
      rock
      and
     
     
      roll
      fiasco.
     
    

    
     
      The
      Rude
     
     
      Mechanicals
      consist
      of
     
     
      Dennis
      Ellsworth
      (singin
     
     
      etcetera),
      Peter
      Forbes
      (head
     
     
      guitarist),
      Todd
      MacLean
     
     
      (second
      guitarist),
      Matt
     
     
      McQuaid
      (basser),
      and
      Mike
     
     
      Mella
      (drummist).
      Anyone
     
     
      familiar
      with
      the
      fine
      aes-
     
     
      thetic
      presence
      of
      this
      band
     
     
      would
      wonder
      the
      obvious:
     
     
      how
      did
      they
      come
      together?
     
    

    
     
      As
      in
      the
      case
      of
      many
     
     
      copycat
      cute
      boy
      bands,
      like
     
     
      the
      New
      Kids
      on
      the
      Block
     
     
      and
      *N
      Sync,
      an
      eccentric
     
     
      mastermind
      saw
      something
     
     
      special
      in
      each
      Mechanical
     
     
      one
      fine
      autumn
      day
      during
     
     
      an
      international
      talent
      call.
     
     
      Bill
      Tangier
      was
      originally
     
     
      looking
      for
      a
      male
      stripping
     
     
      troupe,
      but
      was
      pleasantly
     
     
      surprised
      to
      discover
      that
     
     
      these
      boys
      were
      as
      cool
      as
     
     
      they
      were
      dreamy.
     
    

    
     
      The
      boys
      had
     
     
      “jammed”
      occasionally
      be-
     
     
      fore
      meeting
      Tangier,
      and
     
     
      had
      adopted
      the
      moniker
      “the
     
     
      Considerate
      Mechanicals”
      to
     
     
      accompany
      their
      milk-drink-
     
     
      ing
      image.
      Tangier
      —
      or
     
     
      “Wild
      Bill”
      as
      the
      boys
      call
     
     
      him
      —
      scrapped
      this
      “sissy
     
     
      wimp-wimp’
      look
      and
      put
     
     
      the
      rude
      in
      the
      mechanical.
     
     
      Needless
      to
      stay,
      a
      constella-
     
     
      tion
      of
      five
      stars
      was
      born.
     
    
   
   
    
     
      Tangier
      brought
      the
     
     
      fab
      fivesome
      to
      what
      is
      now
     
     
      known
      as
      the
      “Rude
      Com-
     
     
      plex,”
      where
      he
      proceeded
      to
     
     
      put
      the
      boys
      through
      their
     
     
      paces
      not
      unlike
      a
      Fame
      re-
     
     
      run.
      The
      Rude
      Complex
      is
     
     
      nestled
      in
      the
      most
      fragile
     
     
      area
      of
      the
      Greenwich
      Dunes,
     
     
      and
      is
      reached
      via
      a
      secret
     
     
      underground
      tunnel.
      Me-
     
     
      chanical
      Matt
      let
      me
      in
      on
      an
     
     
      exclusive
      detail
      of
      the
      com-
     
     
      plex
      to
      share
      with
      our
      read-
     
     
      ers.
     
    

    
     
      “Not
      many
      people
     
     
      know
      this,”
      Matt
      begins,
      “but
     
     
      we
      have
      these
      mirrors
      on
      the
     
     
      walls.”
      Apparently
      used
      for
     
     
      what
      Matt
      calls
      “rock
     
     
      moves,”
      the
      hunky
      gents
     
     
      spend
      a
      great
      deal
      of
      their
     
     
      practice
      time
      posturing
      to
      get
     
     
      every
      es
      es
      te
     
     
      just
      right
      prior
      to
      auditioning
     
     
      them
      before
      a
      live
      audience.
     
     
      This
      hard
      work
      and
      dedica-
     
     
      tion
      really
      shows,
      and
      their
     
     
      fans
      (especially
      the
      ladies)
     
     
      appreciate
      it.
     
    

    
     
      What
      is
      less
      appreci-
     
     
      ated,
      however,
      is
      the
      Rude
     
     
      boys’
      identities,
      which
      often
     
     
      gets
      lost
      behind
      the
      musical
     
     
      exhibitionism.
      Each
      Rude
     
     
      Mechanical
      embodies
      the
     
     
      spirit
      of
      rock
      and
      roll,
      not
     
     
      unlike
      the
      grandfathers
      of
      the
     
     
      hanging
      tough
      movement,
     
     
      NKOTB.
     
    

    
     
      As
      any
      band
      of
      hotties
     
     
      knows,
      certain
      features
      that
     
     
      girls
      “go
      for”
      need
      to
      be
      per-
     
     
      sonified
      by
      their
      stage
      pres-
     
     
      ence.
      The
      Rude
      Mechanicals
     
     
      understand
      this,
      and
      ex-
     
     
      plained
      their
      own
      system
      of
     
     
      delightful
      alter
      egos.
     
    

    
     
      Dennis,
      the
      boys
      tell
     
     
      me,
      is
      the
      “rebel”
      figure,
      the
     
     
      “bad”
      kind
      of
      guy.
      He
      is
     
     
      what
      we
      would
      call
      the
     
     
      Donnie
      Wahlberg
      character.
     
     
      His
      edgy,
      straight-outta-the-
     
     
      Ch’town-ghettos
      ‘tude
     
     
      makes
      him
      the
      guy
      ae
      ees
     
     
      want
      because
      the
      others
      don’t
     
    
   
   
    
     
      want
      him,
      according
      to
      Peter.
     
     
      Dennis
      looks
      for
      lots
      of
      hair
     
     
      in
      a
      girl.
      Lots
      and
      lots
      of
      hair.
     
     
      His
      favourite
      colour
      is
      or-
     
     
      ange.
     
     
      Matt’s
      big
      ee
      corre-
     
     
      _—
      with
      the
      buff
      physique
     
     
      that
      was
      so
      trademark
      to
     
     
      Danny
      Knight.
      Rumour
      has
     
     
      it
      that
      Matt
      recently
      doffed
     
     
      his
      characteristic
      rat-tail
      in
      a
     
     
      half-hearted
      attempt
      at
      dis-
     
     
      lling
      the
      similarities
      that
     
     
      aunt
      him.
      What
      does
      he
     
     
      look
      for
      in
      a
      girl,
      ladies?
     
     
      “She’s
      gotta
      be
      6
      feet
      tall
     
     
      with
      huge.
      ...
      Oh,
      and
      a
     
     
      shitty
      ee
     
     
      very
      chic
      aggregate
     
    
   
   
    
     
      The
      Cadre
     
    
   
   
    
     
      needs
      the
      slick
      appeal
      of
      the
     
     
      sharp-looking
      heartbreaker,
     
     
      and
      Todd
      fits
      this
      bill
      to
      a
      T.
     
     
      He’s
      the
      Jordan
      of
      the
      lot,
      and
     
     
      admits
      to
      looking
      for
      girls
     
     
      who
      are
      “5°3"
      with
      tobacco
     
     
      hair.”
      But
      hands
      off,
      ladies
     
     
      —
      he’s
      taken!
     
    

    
     
      Peter
      is
      what
      we
      call
     
     
      the
      Joey
      character,
      because
     
     
      he’s
      the
      shortest.
      The
      quali-
     
     
      ties
      he
      values
      most
      are
      a
      good
     
     
      a
      and
      honesty.
     
    

    
     
      is
      heartthrob
      stresses
      that
     
     
      looks
      don’t
      mean
      anything.
     
    

    
     
      This
      bring
      us
      to
      the
     
     
      fellow
      who
      must
      be
      the
     
     
      Jonathan
      of
      the
      band.
      The
     
     
      most
      polite
      of
      the
      lot,
      Mike
     
    
   
   
    
     
      ¢
      6
      April
      1999
     
    
   
   
    
     
      has
      this
      to
      share
      with
      us:
      “I
     
     
      like
      girls
      that
      like
      me
      for
      me.”
     
     
      Rumour
      has
      it
      that
      there
      is
     
     
      already
      a
      lady
      in
      his
      life.
     
    

    
     
      So
      where
      do
      the
      Rude
     
     
      Mechanicals
      go
      from
      here?
     
     
      Faster
      and
      more
      furiously
     
     
      than
      a
      cork
      popped
      out
      of
      a
     
     
      champaign
      bottle,
      these
     
     
      chaps
      will
      be
      Scoot
      a
     
     
      record
      after
      exam
      season
      lets
     
     
      up.
      They've
      also
      made
      top
     
     
      billing
      for
      the
      forth
      coming
     
     
      convocation
      ball.
     
    

    
     
      UPEI
      should
      be
      proud
     
     
      of
      its
      ambassadors
      of
      rock.
     
     
      The
      Rude
      Mechanicals
      truly
     
     
      are
      Charlottetown’s
      Number
     
     
      Two
      party
      band.
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
         
     
     
       
     
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
       
     
    
   
   
    
     
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