‘Are you a Paranoid 
     
    
   
   
    
     In today’s high stress world, 
     
     where push often comes to shove 
     
     over possesion of a seat on the 
     
     overcrowded rush hour metro, it 
     
     is no surprise that mental health 
     
     problems abound in the world to- 
     
     day. Many people find themselves 
     
     questioning their own sanity on 
     
     a daily basis. If you are one of 
     
     these people, then the following 
     
     quiz may be of some help to you. 
     
    
   
   
    
     1. When you listen to the ra- 
     
     dio, are the announcers talking 
     
     about you? 
     
    
   
   
    
     2. Do you constantly see can- 
     
     did photographs of yourself on 
     
     front pages of The Gem? 
     
    
   
   
    
     3. Do you insist on having 
     
     someone else taste your cafeteria 
     
     food before you eat it? 
     
    

    
     4. Do you wonder why all con- 
     
     versation ceases whenever you en- 
     
     ter a circle of people? 
     
    
   
   
    
     5. Are you naturally sus- 
     
     picious of people who insist on 
     
    
   
   
    
     Schizophrenic? 
     
    
   
   
    
     shaking you hand when intro- 
     
     duced to you for the first time? 
     
    
   
   
    
     6. When you watch television, 
     
     are they showing pornographic 
     
     videos of you and your lover? 
     
    
   
   
    
     7. When you meet new peo- 
     
     ple, do you subconsciously check 
     
     to see if your fly is open? 
     
    
   
   
    
     8. When you enter Duffy Am- 
     
     phitheater, does everyone turn to 
     
     look at you? 
     
    
   
   
    
     9. Do the stares of store man- 
     
     nequins cause you to break out in 
     
     a cold sweat? 
     
    

    
     10. Are you convinced that 
     
     there is a CSIS stake-out sta- 
     
     tioned in the apartment building 
     
     across from your house? 
     
    
   
   
    
     11. Do men in dark suits 
     
     wearing sunglasses follow you to 
     
     all lectures and conferences? 
     
    
   
   
    
     12. Are all of the professors 
     
     out to get you? 
     
    
   
   
    
     13. Are all of your required 
     
     books on backorder? 
     
    
   
   
    
     14. Has all of your mail been 
     
     opened before it is delivered to 
     
     you? 
     
    

    
     15. After you have guests over 
     
     for the evening, do you sweep the 
     
     house for bugging devices? 
     
    
   
   
    
     16. Do the bouncers at the 
     
     Barn hover over your left shoul- 
     
     der? 
     
    
   
   
    
     17. When you use the public 
     
     washrooms, is the same person al- 
     
     ways in the stall next to you? 
     
    
   
   
    
     18. Do the rude comments 
     
     in washrooms always have your 
     
     phone number on them? 
     
    
   
   
    
     19. Is the tamper-resistent 
     
     sealing on your Tylenol bottle al- 
     
     ways missing? 
     
    

    
     20. Do you always sniff 
     
     your armpits before entering a 
     
     crowded room? 
     
    
   
   
    
     If the answer to all the above 
     
     questions is “yes”, then you may 
     
     be a paranoid schizophrenic. 
     
    
   
   
    
     DON’T BEA D.1I.C.K.! (Driving Impaired Can Kill) 
     
    
   
   
    
     The shock value of this slogan is intended to offend '™ 
     
    
   
   
    
     only those who still insist on driving alter drinking. It 
     
     states clearly how some of us feel about the issue 
     
    
   
   
    
     BACCHUS 
     
    
   
   
    
     kkk kkk kkk kkkkkkkkkekkk kkk Kean Kanan 
     
    
   
   
    
     FRIDAY 
     
     Movie Pub 
     
     Movies: 
     
    
   
   
    
     1. Broadcast News 
     
     2. Johnny Be Good 
     
    
   
   
    
     Mike Woods 
     
    
   
   
    
     Sheer Madness 
     
     9-11:45 
     
    
   
   
    
     6” 15 min. 
     
     Knockout 
     
    
   
   
    
     Specials 
     
    
   
   
    
     SATURDAY 
     
    
   
   
    
     Back by 
     
     Popular Demand 
     
    
   
   
    
     §Crazy Hour 
     
     9:30—11:00 
     
    
   
   
    
     THE 
     
     BEST 
     
     LINE 
     
    
   
   
    
     ALWAYS 
     
     WINS 
     
    
   
   
    
     Closed 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     Thanksgiving 
     
     ~ 4 NIGHT 
     
    
   
   
    
     Wed. Oct. 19% 
     
    
   
   
    
     BLOW 
     
     OUT 
     
    
   
   
    
     ALL 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     COME PARTY WITH CORKY AND THE JUICE PIGS THURS. 
     
    
   
   
    
     => Thursday, October 6, 1988 
     
     == thursday, | 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     MONDAY TUESDAY WeEDNESDA' 
     
      -’ 
     
     or 
     
     4» 
     
     SY 
     
     “ay 
     
    
   
   
    
     Giveaways, 
     
     specials 
     
    
   
   
    
     SS 
     
    
   
   
    
     THURSDAY 
     
    
   
   
    
     The 6 to 9’er 
     
     & 
     
    
   
   
    
     the 
     
     ‘Panther 
     
     Prowls’ 
     
    
   
   
    
       
     
    
   
   
    
     OCT. 27%