UBEI SUN, Nov.25

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THE GOSPEL ACCDRDING 'IO SAINI‘ CRANSI'ON

Book Two: A Story For The People.

It came to pass one day ‘

that the good Saint Cranston

was speaking onto the masses, when a poor, wit— less Artsie didst ask him, "Why is it that the Engineers and the Bio— logists doth reside in the same building?" (he meant the Duffy Building, but in his stupidity, he remembered not its name.) And thus it came to pass that Saint Cranston didst pass the parable of the _ two sons unto the people.

"Long years ago," He didst begin, "There was a poor farmer from Souris, Whose wife did bear unto him two sons. As they grew, the sons competed for everything, and agreed upon And the farmer felt sorrow, for he loved his sons dearly. "And so he sent his sons out into the world, to make something of themselves. Many years didst pass, and the farmer grew old. Then one day, the elder son returned. "He had enjoyed years of wine, women, song, and more women. He didst e of many mind— bending substances, yet he still made a great success of himself. His father was very proud of him, for he had built many bridges, and other impressive structures. And it was indeed good. "Soon after, the younger son returned, He had studied endlessly, and avoided alcohol and all social gatherings. And yet he was a dismal failure, for all he didst know was the arrangement of a pig's bowels. And yea. verily, his poor father was ashamed of him, for he wished no Offspring of

his to be a lole biologist.

' clutch .

THE .

"Thus the farmer, who had become rich by selling the mushrooms that grew in his garden to tourists, did declare unto his sons: 'Thou, my eldest son, are a wealthy, successful engineer. Thou hast made me proud ,to be thy father. I shall reward' thee with my best mushrooms, and with the basement of my house. Thou, my young

‘ son, are a failure, and a

biologist. Thou hast brought me shame," but since I love thee, thou shalt still be provided for. Go then, and live in the attic, and appear not in public. "'

When Saint Cranston finished speaking, the crowd was-silent, awe- struck. Then the same ‘ witless Artsie spoke up, asking what the story meant. Even the patience of a Saint has its limits. Thus, Saint Cranston spoke unto him, saying, "Thou art: but a stupid Artsie. Thou wouldst not understan ."

What do you call a‘leper in a Jacuzzi? Stew.

Why did the leper fail ' his drivers test?” He left his foot on the

ENGINEERS

.‘_ AQUEY,

Down in the dark, damp, depths of the old Duffy there once was a certain Biology Professor who was performing diabolical research. It was rumoured

. he had created a new form

of life, lower than

any Artsie, Biology student:

or Business student. This

' was regarded as a threat

to the brave and intell- igent Engineering students, a'small-threat, but a threat never the less. After

a few seconds of secret planning, our heroes-locked our foul—mouthed Dr. in.

‘ ‘his little lab with his

disggvery. Man, did he ever flip out, with only

' :superhtman effort did he

escape. Beware out there, we arenever safe again. I think he's out to get us.

What do all these people have against us? Our , column is the most read most talked about and most cri'tized in the whole Sun. A We would really appreciate if half a dozen or so goody- goody- two -sh°es would UP! Face it, you're in university now, not grade school. If

E32262

A plot of land, 7 ft.

by 2 ft.

Also wanted-extra large headstone.

Pick, lshovel and r wheelbarrow needed as well.

Contact: Tony "Help me dig my own grave" Carroll as soon as’possible.

War me ya

paws Arr“ THE PARTY?

~~ r

‘Aee'

what—you read in out column "offends you so much..." don't read it!

, Take it upon yourselves

to clean up the world, write senators, doctors, priests, write to the Prime Minister. If. you can't handle a few put- downs or wise cracks, you better seek profes- sional help, because if you don't you'll have a very miserable and painful life. Because it's not ust us, it‘s all around ‘

you.

iViewFrumthe'Ibpisa.

weekly publication of ' the pPEI Engineering ‘ Society, and is consistently sexist, prurient, taste and sloppily produced - without visiblé'oon'cérh‘ for professional standards. Opinions published ’are f not necessarily those of the Engineering SoCiety nor of any other body,

nor are they probably

. opinions at all. _ 'Editor: Cranston Snord: '

Don’t Wait... .

' w

. .

"t

' Animals often suffer because people delay in reporting abuse and neglect. Some of these animals‘die needlesle-

If you know of an animal being treated cruelly. call your local animal agency at the number beIOw. Your anonymity is guaranteed. .

Don't wait until it’s too late to report animal cruelty. The animals can’t wait much longer 'for help—their lives depend on you. Call... ‘help us help animals

The P.E.|. HUMANE SOCIETY

Hazelbrook, P.E.I. ‘ w __ . W Id~flIelephone§569~3496l day .of , k. - ‘ r ‘ _ 'j-'- i 43,-...- o‘- A‘e’sfiafaf.25:33..31g..fa‘gt.t