The UPEI SUN,’Ihursday,March 9,1§78,page 2

’ [EMMY ’5

Deep within the bounds of triejewniversiw to .. enhance the Liberal Party (YELP) there is a speak- easy.Newocmers to the area might not know of its existence,but in the last four years or so,I.enny's Bar and Grill,under the Watchful eye of Ienny,has flourished,and now is mak- ing plans to go public.

"BY 901119 Public,"

Ienny says,"We don't mean

to advertise our secret location here on the Campus, but I don't mind telling the newer students that I am here.I see too many long

on the basis of spending money not making it.I have to submit a monthly report * to the minister downtown, showing just, how much I spent.Why,ﬂiey'd cut my salary in half if they thought that I was making money on the side."

"Ienny, since you seem _ to be doing so well,I won- der if you could give us any help or hints for gain- ing meaningful employment for this summer coming up?Just where are all the jobs?"

"I can't tell you where the jobs are any more than

faces ;students who are worried Alex can keep a straight face about what to do after school. on the way to the bank.But I

I have the perfect sol- ution to these useless tines;drink.After all,that is what I am here for. "Ienny,could you tell our readers how you managed to stay alive for so long? Do you see yourself as some kind of forerunner of future business practices?" "Well,to begin with, I wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for the Lib- eral party.']hey really put the b.s. back in business.'Ihey've been real good to me.I started out just about four years ago withnomorethana suit- - case,and allready I've got two suitcases and a trunk.As for being a fore- runner in business,I don't think you know the mean— ing of the word;or if you dOIthen you don't lmow the nature of my job.I'm no different than any other Government project. There's lots of projects just like mine going on all over the Island.You just have to find them.They don't

take to advertising too much,you see. " "You mean vou are spon- sored by the Geverrment?" "Naturally.You didn't“ think I was here for my own pleasure,did you? I operate

can tell you how I made , it to the top, of the class. I started out the same ' as most first year students, working out of a suitcase in tobacco oountry.I picked up a bit from the fisher- men and farmers,as well as the construction workers.

I soon found out though, they just can't pay the

Way the goverment can.

" The government offered to pay me a regular wage, buy all my stock,and hire me a helper.They made me promise to hire a student; that's all.Well,I'made so much money on the side

I that sumer,I decided to

forget all about classes. V When they found out,I thought I would take a pay cut,but you can guess I didn't argue when I got a pay raise. They actually thought that since I was no longer a student,I ‘dhould get more money. '

"At first I couldn't understand why they made me

promise to hire only students.

Now I do.-You see,if I let my helper quit school,then

.I'd have to pay himmore too.

'Ihey told me that cheap labour was what they wanted, so I had to let-Billy—Bob go, and I hired my own Paw to take his place.Naturally,

TNORTON’S IEWELLERS no:

I111K~ont strut. Charlottetown Phone 894—3922?

JEWELLERY, WATCHES,“ ‘CHINA, GIFTS, CHARMS,

BARANDGRHl‘r

he had to go back to school, so as to qualify,but he didn't mind. _

He says it's a damn Sight better 'n standing around in front of the Queen St. ICC.It seems he's the

only bachelor over fifty I in the sociology department. I sure hope he lives

to get'his degree."

I "Ienny, do -you have any theories on why the gov- ernment would sponsor a speakeasy?It seems strange to me that they would put money into something that was illegal in the first place."

"I can't recall their exact words,but it's got something to do with Murphy's Iaw.'Ihey them- Selves are exempt from that law,but themest of the Province has to deal with it.Maybe,they're

feeling attwinge of

oonScience."

"Wait a minute Ie‘nny.

Just what is Murphy's law?".,

"Mmphy's Law is the law that says that all students have ‘to work for less money because they don't know

' enough to quit school

and get a regular job. (I That is why I_’got a‘raise‘ when I quit‘,and"why Idhave tohaveastudentasa" helper.Just about every- , body has to abide by this law; fishemen,farmers, ‘ construction workers,

and even some of the .

tourist industry.:mey're not supposed to pay reg—' ular wages to anyme who even looks looks like a, ' student;which is just about everyme who works during the summer."

"Ietme see,if. I have this straight.You say that to get a good summer job, youhave tonotbeastu— dent,and not work for the fanners or fishermen.Is that part right?"

"Not only them;but don't

work for the constructim

side of it either;‘1hey have to pay'lower wages to every- one.'1hey don't pay over- time or holidays eithery.>1' gueSs they don't want too many houses built until there's enough people to buy them for the price they

want. "

"So‘our student readers should stay away from con— struction as well,Just where can the average student get a job that is going to Pay him enough to return to school,if he's crazy enough to want to?" .

'Ihere'sonly one comb, .‘ pany to work for;'the grea' t liberal Partyﬂmy if it.

‘ wasn‘t for :ttm _ ' iridlstill ~ ? digeﬁz-P

ahead by ' " a? education.Would‘ you like to hear my views on the matter of education?"

I "Not right. now.']ha1ﬂ<s _ anyway,1enny."

rt.--_,__,‘.foryou;.,._nr_-rr,

Togetyouroopymnilonakethisomponf' toyourIocaIbranchoftheBankof ' =

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