VIEW Et

THE

ENGINEER'S

SELF ANALYSIS BY URINATION

You c;

confidential files of Hoo -Flung Dung, eminent psychologist, philosopher, and professional pervert.

SELF ANALYSIS BY URINATION: ARE YOU ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING?

a

INDIFFERENT: All urinals being used, goes in sink.

(2) SOCIABLE: Joins friends in a urinal whether he has to go or not.

(3) CROSS-EYED: Looks into urinal on the left, urinates into the centre, flushes one on right.

(4) NOSEY: Looks into next urinal to see how other guy is fixed.

(5) DRUNK: Holds thumb in right hand, urinates in pants.

(6) EXCITABLE: Shorts ‘half-twisted around, cannot find a

hole.

(7) WORRIED: Not sure of what he has been into lately, makes quick inspection.

(8) FRIVOLOUS: Plays’ stream up and down and across urinal, tries to hit floor.

(9) ABSENT-MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, goes in pants.

(10) DISGRUNTLED: Stands for awhile, gives up, goes away. (11) SNEAKY: Releases air silently while leaking.

(12) CHILDLISH: Leaks maikectly into bottom of urinal, likes to see bubbles.

(13) PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time, waiting, reads newspaper with free hand.

(14) DESPERATE: Waits, in jong line, teeth floating, goes in pants.

tell a lot about a person by how he urinates in a public washroom. The following report was leaked from the

A lot has happened in the past two weeks. We engineers had our famous Engineers Cornboil and the first of our Legendary Engineering Pubs for the year. It was a thrilling two weeks indeed.

The cornboil went off with- out a hitch. There was plenty of corn and plenty of other necessities as well. The engi- neering initiation went off well too. I’d describe it here, but the arcane rites of the engi- neering initiation are best not described in such a reputable

Ble WEEKLY

ENGINEWS

publication as The Gem. All the freshmen engineers were initiated and many of the third year engineers were thrown in the lake and most of the second years spent their time molest- ing a pink flamingo lawn orna- ment that was leaking a pecu- lair golden fluid. A fantastic (if hard to remember) time was had by all.

The Engineering Pub was a successful as ever. We packed the Barn a couple of times over and provided an exciting night of cultural stimulation

MOviE OF THE MONTH:

for the throngs of partiers there. The spirits ... I mean ... the spirit of the pub was really evident in everybody. The pub was a smashed ... I mean ... smashing success!

We would like to take this moment to thank the Biology Society, who bravely manned (and womanned) the coat check for us at the pub. You really contributed to the excess

- I mean ... success of the pub. You should congratulate yourselves.

THE BIOS... THEY ne D SMALL, FUZZY

ALS...

THEY MOLESTED THE DEAD...

THEN THEY WENT TOO FAR.

(15) FAT: Has to back up and take a long shot, misses, goes on shoe.

(16) TOUGH: Bangs penis against urinal to dry it.

(17) EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to defacate, then does.

(as) TIMID: Cannot urinate if someone is watching, flushes urinal as if he has already used it.

“THEY DIED wir 1 THEIR RUBBER BOO

(19) LITTLE: Stands on box, falls in, and drowns. A wore. ABOUT A aoe

(20) DREAMER: Thinks it is a urinal, but it is really your STARRING: THE BIOS Comiwe SOON sess PRODUCED : By aqcipENT TO A THEATRE DIRECTED * By THE WIND NEAR YOU.

EXECUTED: BY THE ENGINEERS