BUSINESS SOCIETY

Greetings

Welcome to the Business So- ciety Page! This is the first time that our Society has had a weekly page in The GEM, so we intend to use the space wisely. Through this page we hope to inform, en- lighten, and entertain our readers (occasionly offend - but never in- tentionally).

Joke Of The Week

Did you hear about the engi- neer who put a condom an back- wards? He went!!

Dear Aunt Pius

4 Hello boys and girls, I’m your sweet Aunt Pius, The Business Society Counselor.

If you have a personal prob- lem, whether academic or social, psychological or perhaps sexual, I would like to offer my advice to you. I’m experienced in almost all of these fields. You can drop your letters in the Society Sug- gestion Box located on the main floor of Kelley building.

Don’t be shy boys and girls, I know that you freshmen have many phobias, and seniors you will soon be experiencing anxiety from Policy projects. Remember

boys and girls Auntie Pius loves you all!!

4>

SEAMAN’S BEVERAGES

1989-90 Society Memberships

Don’t miss out! Get a Busi- ness Society Membership Card. As a member you will recieve great benefits and only a small in- vestment is required (just $6.00). Benefits include: 1/3 off regular admission to all Business Pubs, two complimentary drinks for our first WET/DRY Event, discounts from a number of local retail stores; you will also be entitled to a ticket to our Main Event “The Business Society Dinner” at a price which is 50% lower than the non-member price. You don’t have to be a business student to appreciate the return an this small investment.

* Memberships will be avail- able in the Kelley Building.

GOLF

September

Sat Sept. 16 “Deep Sea Fishing” Wed Sept. 20

Freshman Election

Fri Sept. 22

“Business

Representative

So- ciety Annual Golf Tournament” A party will follow (Possibly at CAPTAIN DICKS)

* Business Society Member- ships will be on sale from Wed Sept. 6 until Tues Sept. 12

** For more details on the above events keep an eye in this page in The GEM Each Week, also look for The Business Soci- ety News Bulletin Board on the main floor of Kelley.

== Thursday, September 14, 1989

Civil Obedience

eee MMMM DMG. MI Gomnew Ss PD EE

A group of workers were dis- cussing how smart their dogs were.

The first was an IBM worker who said his dog could do calcu- lations. His dog was named “T Square”. He told “T Square” to go to the blackboard and draw a square, a circle, and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat.

The second worker was a Ford worker and he said he thought his dog named ”Sliderule” could do better. He told “Sliderule” to go fetch a dozen cookies and bring them back and divide them into four piles of three, which “Slid- erule” did with no problems.

The third worker was with the Telephone Company and he said the other two dogs were good, but his dog named “Measure” could do much better. He told “Measure” to go and get a quart of milk and then to pour seven

ounces of it into a ten ounce glass, which measure did with no prob- lems.

All three workers agreed that all of their dogs were very smart. They then turned to the fourth worker who was a Civil Service worker and asked him what his dog named “Coffee Break” could do. The civil service worker called “Coffee Break” over and said “show the fellows what you can do Coffee Break”.

"Coffee Break went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, screwed the other three doggs, claimed he injured his back, filled for Workmans’ Compensa- tion and then left for home on sick leave.

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