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EDDIE GARDNER(IN HALLOWEEN COSTUME) INTERVIEWING THE GREAT PUMPKIN

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THE GREAT PIJMPKIN

The CADRE, in its con- tinuing search to be relivent pand topical, has gone right to the top for its Hallawee'n feature. We have an interview with the great Pumpkin. who we vhappened to grab Just as she was being hauled bff to market. What follows is a completely' factual account of the interview nothing has been deleted, and the names have not been changed to protect the innocent. CADRE: Just exactly how did

you start off, Great __ Pumpkin? PUMPKINzMy father was a squash. and my mother was a stringbean. I realize that Halloween is a very busy night for you. but what do you do during the off- season? PUMPKIN20h. I sit arround and rot. mostly. Just like football players. CADRE: When was the last time you were taken for lunch? PUMPKIN: Last year. when I was one of the enteries for Miss Universal Pumpkin. T remember that very well

CARE:

I had won the regional Princess of the Patch contest, and advanced to the finals. they couldnlt get me a seat on the plane, so I flew down on my own.

CADRE: How as you fly. anyhow? PUMPKIN3WiEK'great difficulty. CADRE: You are obviously. from your conversation, a female pumpkin. How does one tell the difference between Jack o' Lanterns and Jill o'Lanterns? PUMPKIN: The Jack o'Ianterns are the ones with the long.handels.

CADRE: What do pumpkins do on Friday nights?

-BUMPKIK:I dunno. What would

you do if you were fat and orange.

I know that you are active in the Pumpkin Liberation movement. Now Just who do you think is exploiting you?

CADRE:

SPEAKE

PUMPKIN: Peter, Peter. Pumpkin- eater. CADRE:Would you consider Pump- kin Lib. as an under- ground movement?

PUMPKIN:We started out that way. but for the last few months we've seen the light. We're plan

ning a big protest march to the patch; wnere all the fruits and vegetables will convene. We demand equal rights and don't relish being 3 uashed. CADRE: How do you fee about being exploited by the N.F.U.?

PUMPKIN: We refuse to be up- rooted from our homes and carted off}?

CADREzGoodnight, Great Pumpkin

PUMPKIN:Goodnight.Chet,

And goodnight to you, Edgar, wherever you arelt

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