January 28, 1997

By Finley Martin

The Five Year Plan improved their record to 6 and 2 last week in a win by default against D. Habbi. According to a one source, all members of the team have been institutionalized for at least the remainder of the intramural season. The D. Habbi team had been suffering from severe anxiety attacks caused by the fear of playing the FYP. Team D. Habbi was then placed in a “health care” facility temporarily for observation. Unconfirmed rumours state that two members of the FYP and an unidentified driver drove up to the facility and were taunting the D. Habbi team outside their windows late at night. Authorities at the facility believe that these reports are just halucinations caused by the stress and are not investigating the matter furthur.

Off the basketball court, the Five Year Plan has been busy. The team has just recently entered the recording studio to record a full length album. Tentatively titled “Who’s Your Daddy Blues”, the album features guest appearances by up and coming rockers The J.F. Band and contraversial solo artist Johnny Heroin. Proceeds from the album are going to be donated to various charities including the Association For People With Nothing Better To Do. A cross Canada tour is expected to occur in conjunction with the release of the album sometime in September of ‘97.

In conjunction with the Star Wars supplement this week, the FYP would like to recount some of their most cherished memories of Star Wars:

Dale Tingley remembers dressing up as Darth Vader for Halloween and beating some kid up for his candy.

Acting team spokesman Dave Christian, who is suffering a severe case of Playus Too Much Stratus was unable to comment this week. However, in his weakened state, he did manage to mime several scenes from Return of the Jedi.

As a small child, Geoff Smith remembers dressing up as Luke Skywalker for Halloween. The evening was very memorable until a kid dressed up as Darth Vader beat him up and stole his candy.

Dico Reyers never liked Star Wars...but he’s going straight to hell anyway.

A little known fact is that Rick Millard actually auditioned for the role of Chewbacca.

Krishna Singh, who was much chunkier as a child, was teased and called Jabba the Hut. The memories are painful for him but the therapy seems to be working.

For more info on the FYP check out their website at http://www.peionline.com/fyp or e-mail them at fanmail@peionline.com.

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