PAGE TWO

THE GUARDIAN, CHARLCTFFETOWN

tic-roan; 4. 1949

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g Woman's Realm/Social and Person

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" DOROTHY DIX SAYS-

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Partying Husband

Wife Must Participate In Ma’re's Last Fling, Or Lose Him

My husband and I married very young and are now past middle age. Our five children are married. We have always lived happily together, btit no\v a break has come ll"l our lives oecause my husband wants to go with a fast set and has been going "in wild parties. I-lc begs me to go with him and says he does nothing that I cannot do. He says that we married so young we didnt have any fun when we were a girl and boy and now that we ‘havent very long to live we should get the most of our lives. Le is hurt and worried when I refuse to go and try_to keep illlll‘fl‘0l’ll going. I have two reasons for not doing so. One is that I don t care for that kind of life, The other is that 1 am jealous or two women who 80- P"

says my jealousy is without foundation, What should

I do‘? Go with him or refuse to lot liim no? A WORRIED WIFE

DEAR MISS DIX:

ANSWER: If you have a grain of intelligence i" your head and want to save your home, you will get yourself the best-looking clothes you can purchase and have a facial and a permanent and stay out with your husband while the invitation is still good.

NEGLECTED

Othertvisc you are going to find yourself one of the neglected wives who sir at home of an evening alone and think bitter thoughts while their husbands are out playing. And likcly as not, you will rnfi tip in the divorce court because you are leaving the field open to the gold-diggers and they are hot on the trail of every man whosc wife refuses to play with him. You have to keep up with your hus- hand or else you lose him. There is no fact in nature truer than that.

Just remember that when your husband steps out he goes to places where he meets pretty young women, half 3°11!‘ 58E. b91191‘ looking than you were even in your youth, who yes-yes him and fall into all of his plans and are full of laughter and gaycty and help him enjoy‘ himself, Thep yoti will perceive the folly of bcing a "ill- ioy and of interfering with his pleasure. ‘Then you will sce i\o\v li le it. profits you to have him contrast your mental attitude as well as your looks with these little playfellows.

DEAR DOROTHY DIX: When people have to make their homes with some one else, why are they so difficult to get along with? Why do they develop such an extreme sensitiveness? Why can't they realize that; others in the family need some consideration, 100'.‘ Why must one tread as if on eggs in dealing with them? Why must they have special invitations to join family activities? Why must they wear the air of a martyr? In short, why can't they make the burden they

are to others easier to bear? ANSWER IF YOU CAN

I can't answer it. I gave up trying to answer the The only explanation I can suggest is that dependence is a shame that cuts so deeply into the soul of a man or woman that the wound always aches. Hence they set up sensitive- ncss as a sort of defense mechanism and spread their feelings all over the place so that it is impossible to move without stepping on them. it is their way of getting the attentions that they crave and making themselves important in the family circle. And that is piti- fully childish, but it is pitiful all the same.

Of course, all of this does make those who are dependent upon us harder to get along with, but their lot is so forlorn, they are so piteous, that those of us who do not have to find out how steep are the stairs in another man's house, as the Spanish proverb puts if. may well hear with them patiently and take the trouble to humor their weaknesses.

ANSWER: conundrum long ago.

DEAR MISS DIX: Do you think it is brutal to pinch a child to make it mind in the presence of guests? l-le cries, but they think he is crying because I scolded him. My mother says I am a snake to do it. She is angry at me every time I do it, she loses her head

about it. C. N. 0.

ANSWER: I do not see how any mother could he so cruel as to bruise the tender flesh of a little child by pinching it. You are living too late. You belong in the days of the Inquisition and would have made a grand torturer. I don't believe it is necessary to beat up chil- dren to make them behave. H you will establish the habit of obedi- once of children» in everyday life, you will not have to pinch them to make them mind in public.

DOROTHY DIX cannot reply personally to readers, but will ans- wer problems of general interest through her column.

Q. 1s 1t considered proper for a ‘guest at a dinner to stack ‘his used ldishes when he has finished eat- , lng?

l’ A. No; it Is much better to leave l

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i) Etiquette i;

By Roberta Lee

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l _ A Country Garden

By Mrs. Gordon Macmillan

My Tulip bulbs from Holland have arrived! It ls sn especial happy dsy for me when I open the large heavy bags of brown skinned bulbs not so large or heavy as former years, but. I re- member the joy I had over my first Tulips, two dozen of them. and then my very young son had pulled the flower buds from half of them.

It was a mistake of his mother. Half the Tulips were early and the remainder the late variety. After blooming I snipped the fad- ed blooms off to aid the bulb in developing and he saw me do it; then very quickly he did the same to the Tulips just beginning to show color. It was a lesson to me in training small children in the care of a garden. No matter how urgent the need at the mo- ment I never cut or pull a flower while the two or three-year-old is watching. After those years you can explain about them with- erlng and fading and that you need them for some one who is sick. And so far my small children are not destructive in the garden but are allowed the enjoyment of every inch of it. Children only imitate those they see every day. This is a grave responsibility fo: some of us.

III

The small children are begin- ning to learn the planting of bulbs and soon I expect they will become real gardeners and I hope that they will.

This year I am planning on red Tulips for the large centre bed with the bird-bath in the south garden overlooking the river. Three hundred All Bright Darwins will be planted there and with many very blue Forget-Me-Nots should be something to look for- ward to in the Spring. - - - They will probablv be planted in late October or November, and several seasons the frost had come before it was possible to plant and I was worried but they were splen- did that Spring and now with ex- perience I have no fear that they will be ruined if for any reason I cannot get: them planted as early as I wish.

Good rich earth is necessary and good drainage is important. I have tried two mcthods in plant- lng. Spadlng the soil out of a bed to a depth of seven inches. planting the bulbs and then filling in the soil again and planting with a dibble. I have had suc- cess in both methods. Most peo- pie think they ‘ire planted more evenly and at the same depth with the former method.

I I I

If snow covers the bulbs this is all the covering needed, but in an exposed place I gather spruce boughs and lay them over the bulbs.

There is nothing in my estima- tion to help you in the Winter- timn like n few bulbs in the gar- den for Spring blooming. Ingles- combe yellow will be used like last year, in groups on either side of the stone steps leading through the summer-house in to the Rose garden, with many very blue Forget-Me-Nots, bronzy foliage of the large pink- Peony, and a baskground of the evergreen hedge with an apple tree ln pink blos- som to the right. It; was a satis- fying corner and I was able to get a colored picture to treasure through the years.

I am using Violas and Pansies as a complement ‘to the Tulips this year and Arkwright Ruby, Blue Butterfly and Jersey Fern in purple are ready to be transplant- ed from the field.

I I I

them as they are. Q. Is it obligatory for a guest. Q. Is it correct to send out ln-

formal handwritten invitations for

a vcry simple wedding? A. Yes, such as, "Dear Jane:

at a christening to bring a gift fo: the baby?

A. It is not obligatory, but is customary.

QUIET WEDDING-S

(GP) Police-Chief

mours. Mary."

John and I are being married at HULL. Que.- four o'clock Thursday. the first of Adrien Robert warned recently he this month The ceremony will be has oorders to enforce a. city by- nt such-and-such church. We hope l-aw banning unnecessary horn- ihat you will ccme. Affectionately blowing. The by-law applied eq- ually in the case or weddings.

y i ‘mos nun mm nonszs- - Mrs. Winifred on" GHGGRI

UITAWA-

The Snowberry shrub is covered with its White fruits and with the good green leaves is a desirable shrub for the garden, doing es- pecially well ln shady places like the north side nf the house. It is very hardy in this climate and was used by my grandmother half a century ago. In the catalogue you will find it under the awful name of Symphoricarpos Parvl- florus Conglomeratus.

A visitor to lhe garden this week from the eastern part of the Province pleased me very much when she noticed the wonderful fragrance of the Clematic Panlcu- lata the moment she stepped through the garden gate. This creamy white star shaped bloom is literally covering one end of the lrnall house and it has never been batter. ‘I imagine the mulch- ing l lave it of old rotted strong manure has benefltted the climb- err and it is now. at its very best.

More plants have been moved from the field to their perman- ent places in tho borders. Wallflower, fragrant and lovely in orange to bloom early with the Tulips; Foxglove ,wlth largo vig- orous leaves, these are stately plants and add much to the gar- den picture in June and early July, Sweet William and Luplnes ln lovely colors of cream and rose; all of these biennial: and peren- nials may be planted until, freeze- up if carefully done.

This ls the time of year I make up bouquets for myself. You have heard of the dreurnaker who never had any clothes of her own to west. Well. lt is much the limo with this gardener, but at this time of year I walk through the garden making small bouquets of favorite flowers for my own room. Fragrant Roses, Carnations, Wallflowers, Paniiles, Nalturtlumx. Fever Few and Southernwood, n small yellow Marigold given to ms by s friend, Sweet Peas and Paisley colored Pinks.‘

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“SECOND MRS. MMPSOXW- British Marquess of Milford- l-laven and American divorcee- Mrs. Romaine Dahlgren Pierce Simpson pose in London after the Marquess announced his engage-

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merit in a three-page Dress hand- out and a. paid newspaper ad. English newspapers have been ‘featuring the New York socialite Las "the second Mrs. Simpson."

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GROUP TREATMENT 0F MENTAL CASES

It ls estimated that. there are needed today about 5 or 10 times as many psychiatrists as are now available. Naturally it takes a psy- chiatrist a long time, many single hour sessions, with a man o": woman who has developed odd be- havior. to dig up the necessary irr- formatlon to help him.

When men and wc-Lnen are under stress as during war they cannot live their ordinary everyday life. and so develop odd behavior, so dif- ferent from that of their normal selves. It. was natural. therefore. that during World War II there was an extra. demand for the scr- vlces of psychiatrists. These psy- chlatrists got the logical idea that as so many cases of odd behavior had similar symptoms, it would save time to treat patients in groups. It. was learned at the very beginning that not only was time saved by group treatment. but also that: the members of the group were greatly encouraged to find that so many others had the same odd ideas and behaved as oddly as themselves.

In the "New England Medical Journal." Drs. William B. Terluurra, Yale University. and James R. Dickerson, New Canaan, Conn, two outstanding psychiatrists. state that the group method merit has been so successful ln vet.- eran's hospitals and in private prac- tice, that it is now in general use everywhere. The group provides the patient with emotional satlslactloris that he was denied in childhood ahd has not found in his daily life, outside his family. Through group discussions he comes to realize that he is not so different from others. Where the patient is treated pri- vately. be leans upon the psychia- trist for help and guidance, in

other members of the group who in turn. look to him for help. They all help and are helped, which, raises their morale.

This group treatment has shown, its value not only as a time saver| and relatively inexpensive method. of treatment. but has, in itself. values not; found in individual- treatment The patient ls regarded as a social being and in the group learns to adapt: himself to others.

Better English

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1. What ls wrong with this sen- tence? "The man with the cane l: mmy.

O. What is the correct pronunc- iation of ‘mould’?

3. Which one of these words ls misspelled? Hammock. attlck, sumac, summary.

4. What does the word “hyper- bolc" mean?

5. What is a word beginning with c0 that. means "a surmise; s

“wit? ANSWERS

1. Say, "The man with the can.» ls he." 2. Pronounce mo-za-tk. o as in no. a as in day. l as in it. ac- oent. second syllable. a. Attic. 4. Evident. exaggeration. ‘The author's writings are marked by hyperbole." b. Conjecture. '

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Scrapbook 8y Roberta [Al WiQQWQWWGWiQWStI Jelly Glasses

To prevent breakage of glascs when making Jelly, put the glasses in a pan of hot water to keep them from racking The pan should be a

‘shallow one, and the water should ‘he sufficient to cover the lower ithird of the glass.

Fucking Dresses

Dressesmsy be packed for trav- eling without serious wrinkling if they are covered on both sides with tissue or cheesecloth. then folded.

White Kid Gloves

i The white kid gloves can be kept

clean a long time if the soil ls mubbcd ofl each time they are worn ‘by using an artist's eraser.

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i The Stars Say--

U! Genevieve Kcmbio

For Wednesday, October 5

_WI~I'.ILE there are indications of Ihigh spots in the realm cf romance. adventure novel situations or un- iwonted thrills and experiments tn business as well as private rela- |tlons. yet it is just as probable that there will be obstacles. frustrations, impediments or unlooked for appo- sition. It may be that. pleasant and thrilling crises must be valiantly" l fought for, and with exceptional in- genulty, cleverness and some ‘novel ivays and means of twisting per- lplexlng and bat in; situations into blazing victory. Such may lnvolv-z separations, estrangemenls or of- fending elders.

If 1t 1a Your Birthday , a t Those whose birthday it is Ire on the eve of an eventful period In which there may be surprise. thrill- ing adventures. harrowing separa- tions or estrangements. This per- taining to business, various agree merits, with innovations and radi- cal change. New ideas or qulokened emotions may incite to sudden ac- lilon. perhaps in launching fresh projwts or even spectacular roman- ,tic adventures. In any case be ready for shrewd action in order to offset opposition, frustrations and even anzntty, Dynamic work‘ should win ou .

A child born on this day may lhave exceptional ways and means ‘for circumventing defeat. opposi- tion, eatrangcmenf-a. being quick- witted, inventive and adventurous. in personaL and sclentl-fic ability.

a Cook ’s Corner OQCOQQF MARSIIMALIDW DATE IALIJ

(Prom M. Guelph. Ont.)

1 package marshmallow!

V. cup cream

1 cup chopped dates

i cup rolled walnuts

Cut. up marshmallows. pour cream over them, snd allow to stand over night, In refrigerator or V"! 001d place. Next-day add dates and nuts. Mslna into balls and Mil In fine Graham cracker aunts.

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ELLEIPS DIARY '

B; An Island Farmer's Wife {OOQOQOWFIDOOQ

Last night's glass, as-well as the farmers, had indicated a killing frost at retiring and if our subsequent dreams were enhanced by glimpses in mind of the bright. smiling faces of our esteemed blossoms, it was to find when we cams to our round this morning, the truth of the old saying that dreams incline to go contrary in meaning, because the night hours had taken a. toll of ours. Nas- turtlums that had glowed for us yesterday in lovely shades of am- ber and orange and flame, dahllas. golden of heart, returning ways “an hundred-fold" for any given care, had ctme to untimely ends.

I I But James viewed the white- spread roofs, and the grass of the meadow which slopes gently down to pond’; edge, with satisfaction. "This should do away with any green potato-tops", he said, slip- ping arms into his jacket, “and help to arrest the blight." A com- mon query we hear of late from the farmers when they chance to see a basket of freshly dug tu- bers: "Now tell mo," James will inquire of the feminine digger, "have you seen any sign of blight- rot yet?" This new week is bringing the digging to some farms, but beneath today's sunny sky it returned the threshing to Rob's.

In the morning, and very smart- ly, in view of ‘the field work to be presently takcn up, the con- venience of the younger farmer's recently built loading-chute was proved, when following others of the line, a sow was persuaded to walk the span from plggcry to waiting truck. In the new order thrust upon us, we saw glimpses of the loading for market from the pantry window, where we kept resolutely washing the break- fast dishos. However an old habit got the better of us when grand- daughter dressed for an outing to the city danced in with "Come now and see a big one going up!" We remember now the niore som- bre side of hog raising, the hap- penlngs that conspire to "keep the rabbit's table short" as these have appeared nt Alderlen in recent months, despite the best of care. I I I

We recall that due to a heart attack, not an uncommon occur- rence in pigs these years, n fine matron, a close mothcr-to-be of a baker's dozen, has her grave back in a pasture, and that one of those remaining presented her masters with a small litter of six, "no litter at all" to them. But balancing these items, we have those whose presentations have been remarkable in number and of ll pleasing plumpness and a size to make the younger farmer bring some indoors in a basket to dis- play them with "aren‘t those the best ones you've seen yet?" And the first shipment of fat hogs brought most encouraging returns. "Dld someone remark that those were being fed too little-or was it too much?" lock laughed, scan- ning the paper of tabulations over his father's shoulder. James nod- ded and adjusted his glasses bet- ter to be certain he ivas reading aright. And a pleased smile broke over his face. "Not all selects!“ he said, "not every one! well! we couldn't expect much better than that, now could we?" I O I It was a warm September breeze that toyed with granddaughtefs curls when along re winding paths we came together with her and the dogs to bring the cows to the evening milking. The sun

wan/mes.

jun loch out 9h! lmbbtlfll stains, saves the work and wear of rubbing. And thl lulu. bleaching action of Jaw! 1'9- tunu snow-white fnshnfll l0 linens and comm.

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Morning Smile

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It's a small world, all right; you can tell by some of the people run- ning it. Why.'lt's gotten so you're afraid to say you think the world of someone because you know who‘. everybody thinks of the world nowadays.