The

LocatIONn: Pals Sports Bar.

COVER CHARGE: Three bucks after 11:00, or something. WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND: cover bands, dance music. WHY SHOULD YOU GO: It’s a bar... on the Trans Canada Highway! It’s locat- ed in a strip mall next to where Robin’s Donuts used to be and it’s always bumpin’.

Karaoke,

So, my job is to write a col- umn about the sex life of thirty-some- things in New York City . . . oh shit, no wait. That’s Sarah Jessica Parker’s job on Sex and the City. My job is to review bars in Charlottetown. Damn, I gotta cut back on my pitcher con- sumption.

This week we visit Pals Sports Bar. If they made a movie about this place it would be called Girl Fight. It is called a sports bar, but the only sports going on inside are foxy boxing

Adventures of Drunken Dragon by Marc MacDONALD

and female wresting. I have only been there a few times, and every time I go, there have been fights between two females. Even a girl roughing up a guy in the parking lot (I can’t take mom anywhere!).

Pals is a bit of an enigma. It is located on the outskirts of town on Highway 2, next to some stores and motels, but it constantly attracts a big crowd. They serve a niche market I guess. From the look of the pick-up trucks, you’d expect a total red-neck crowd with nothing but O.G. Garth Brooks bumpin out da shit, but they don’t really play that country music there. They sometimes get cover bands and on the weekends they usu- ally play Myronsesque dance music.

I think the one big attraction is the karaoke lady. She is always there. She might live there for all I know. And there is always karaoke. A few “professionals” go to karaoke every

Fuck what ya heard.

Cinephile tried to get my drunk ass out of his parking spot.

week and try to get signed by crooning old Patsy Cline songs or new country hits.

Pal’s is not for everybody. However, if you stop by occasionally, there is a lot of potential for a fun time. Just get twisted with a bunch of friends and instead of tipping the wait- ress, buy a scratch and win ticket for sale at the bar (tell the waitress you’ll split the winnings 50/50 Nicholas Cage-style, like in that movie where he won the fucking lotto). There are a few pool tables to keep bored people

from starting fights, and you can buy pizza there as well. On a really good night, you might want to crawl over to the Wal-Mart parking lot after you drink your face off at Pal’s, and ride down the hill in a shopping cart. Or you could carefully walk across the highway and test out the farm equip- ment in the Leisure World parking lot. You might as well. You’ll never get the opportunity to operate a back-hoe when drinking downtown.

Who needs friends you’ve got Pal’s?

when

Yo, Leisure World’s across the street. Let’s get some beads. Unh.

Be eS a me OS 2 ite & te He

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