THE BRAIN DRAIN

The advent of American own- ership of Canadian companies and resources has apparently expanded to another realm. Inside sources from Proctor & Gamble stated last week that the compa- ny planned on exploring the possibility of four take-over bids of Atlantic Canadian universities, including UPEI. The other three universities, St. Francis Xavier, Dalhousie and l’Université de Moncton _ have all acknowledged that they have been talking with the American conglomerate, but as of yet, UPEI officials have not released any statements, other than to say that any public comment will not be released until after the Board of Governors has had the opportunity to sit down with officials from Proctor & Gamble.

When reached for comment, P&G Inc. public relations official, Ms. Lisa Osbourne, stated that the company regret- ted the early release of information, but continued on to say that they were also very excited about the prospect of further- ing development into post-secondary edu- cation in this country. When asked to com- ment on possible student concerns, she said that although tuition fees are normally higher in the United States, that the pur- chase of a Canadian University by an American company is not likely to push tuition up here, at least not by too much. Also, it could give the campus an injection of cash that would help address pressing problems, such as developing plans for a new Business Faculty building, etc. "Proctor & Gamble would ensure the well- being of all Canadian Universities under its ownership," she said. "Control may shift, but it is not likely to affect curricu- lum much, if at all."

_ This is the first such move in the Canadian educational system, and has been met with mixed reaction. While the copious amounts of American dollars could certainly improve tuition costs and other academic fees, the effects of the American "brain drain" are being felt like never before. With the mass exodus of Canadian scholars traversing the Southern

border in a search for employ- ment, and higher salaries, in a country of innumerable jobs, it already seems like the United States has begun to invade the Canadian marketplace. And if the Americans are taking Canadian workers, this would seem as the next logical step to ensure that the workers going south of the border will be properly trained for the jobs awaiting them.

"Proctor and Gamble is very con- cerned with the well being of young people not only in the United States, but is Canada and the entirety of North America," said Osbourne. "It is, of course our interest to see that the next generation be well equipped to deal with the fast-paced and ever changing world today." The mighty conglomerate did not provide any com- ment on the brain drain or the "Americanization" of Canadian society. "In the modern world, especially post- 9/11, we should, and in fact need to, all be connected,” LeClair explained. "I see no need to comment on anything so global.”

It has not yet been reported why Proctor and Gamble decided to explore the ownership of universities in the Atlantic provinces. It is, in fact, the first such move

made by the company, including educa- -

tional investments in its own country. One can attribute the allure of the Atlantic Canadian universities to their relatively small sizes and the Canadian dollar and

‘their potential as a sort of a test for the

company, before moving onto bigger edu- cational institutions.

Locally, the AVC and proposed expansions may have caught the eyes of P

& G Inc. investors looking into Atlantic _ Canada's schools. No date has been set for

any further announcements. Proctor & Gamble adds to an already phenomenal list of subsidiaries with these acquisitions, subsidiaries that include Pampers, Olay, Cover Girl, Pantene, Crest, Mr. Clean and. Febreze. f

5

Myron's: Sexiest Club in Charlottetown?

‘any concrete

Recent advertise- have proclaimed

ments Myron's as "the sexiest

club in Charlottetown". Can this be? Armed with only my professional integrity, 1 set out on a jour- nalistic epic to try to sepa- rate the fact from the fic- tion. Myron's, the sexiest bar in Charlottetown, well guarded secret, or urban legend. |

In an attempt to go straight to the horse's mouth on this urgent ques- tion, I contacted Myron's. When asked about the sources to their claim, it was revealed they lacked scientific data. I was shocked to find out they had neither pie- charts, nor bar graphs to support their slogan. Immediately the biggest hoaxes and frauds came to mind: Enron, Milli Vanilli, and the left-handed Burger King Whopper. Clearly this was worse than all of them.

Although they tried to pass it off as a clever, fun marketing device, I was not

biting. In another harrow-

ing display of investigative journalism, I contacted the direct competition, to see if they had lost any of their sexy customers since the inception of these faulty

UPEI Cadre September 28, 2004 page 11

-ads.

To my surprise, Pal's Sports Bar was empty that Wednesday afternoon. "Good God," I thought, this must be a direct result from the Myron's ads. The fiends are scooping up all the sexy customers and running the competition into the goddamn ground! Although the girl working vehemently denied these claims, I sensed she might have meant something else behind her words. Perhaps intimidation from Myron's kept her true feelings back.

The damage of these ads were felt no hard- er than here on campus. Christian Woorley, a third- year student, and self pro- claimed non-sexy person, offered. one of the most touching and heartfelt sto- ries ever recorded. "I don't go there too often. No big deal, but I just enjoy myself elsewhere." ‘Truly heart- breaking.

So, Myron's sexiest bar in Charlottetown? Well the jury's still out on that one. Clearly, it will take a team of scientists to deci- pher this mind boggling question. However, one fact that is clear is the hurt felt by locals bars, and stu- dents deemed unsexy.

At the time of press no false advertising law suits have been filed against Myron's.