Lies

Date Rape Reality . M. MacCallum

It was a pub night on campus, last spring. A group of us went_to the Barn, had a few beers, and took a taxi downtown. We went to Myrons, then Tradewinds. At the Winds, I met a guy who I had known for a couple of years. We were feeling pretty good, so when the bar closed, we came back to residence. I had no reason to assume that I was in danger (in my own home) from this guy. To make a long story short, he raped me. He didn’t just have sex with me, he forced me to have sex against-my will. 1 said "no", I fought, I did everything short of screaming. I don’t know why I didn’t. After a while I just gave up and layed there and cried. He got up and left. Some might say that I asked for it, because I let him come back with me. Or some might say that I should have reported it, but anyone who knows anything about rape, knows that reporting it is letting yourself in for a bigger hell than the one that you just went through. So, I didn’t tell anyone. In fact, approximately a month later, he apologized, saying that he just got carried away and didn’t mean to force me. Well I just want to say - Sorry doesn’t cut it. He took something away from me: my control over my own body. No-one has the right to do that to another person. Theréfore I guess that I am one of the nine out of ten rapes that occurs and goes unreported. It’s called date rape and it happens here, on campus.

This is a true account of a date rape that was supplied to us by a girl, who for obvious reasons, wishes to remain anonymous, researched by M. MacCallum. The above account is just one example of what happens often right here on campus. Almost none of these incidents are reported. Even when they are, most do not find a court date. For one reason or another, guilt is too difficult to prove. Because the girl doesn’t scream while it happens,

~ Campus Women

By Ella Holt

\

and nothing is done about it, date rape becomes a truly silent crime.

Rape is a serious and violent crime. The stereotype

rapist is a man that hides in bushes, waiting to assault a random, unsuspecting victim. This is not always the case. In most cases the victim knows her assailant. They are often friends or are dating. Often alcohol plays a big role in the rape. You know, the old cliche about getting the girl drunk and taking advantage of her. This is a very accepted practice in today’s society and is even joked about.

The fact that so many people take these date rapes so casually is the root of the problem. The onus does not have to be completely on women to protect themselves from rape - men need to change their attitudes about what mutual consent means. When a girl goes home from a bar with a guy, she is not necessarily planning to have sex. Mutual consent is when both the man and the woman agree that they want to have sex. This is something that needs to be cleared up before anyone makes any physical contact. Women, in general, have more romantic ideas about going to a guy’s house for coffee after an evening out than men do. When a man asks a woman home for coffee, he may actually be asking her home for sex. Because the man is a friend, the woman feels safe in going with him. So maybe the problem is communication. The two sexes need to spell out what each other wants before, not after the rape occurs.

So, is it more dangerous to walk home from the library at night, or to go out with some friends to a bar? Right now, for women, both choices can be pretty dangerous. Women do need some common sense about protecting themselves from rape. But shouldn’t men use some common sense also?

The UPEI X-Press

November 8, 1990

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