December 3, 1996 @- The Panther Prints

SANTA CL

Dear Santa

I have been a very good girl this year. You said last year that I was too bad too receive anything that I wanted so you got me a pony and a Cabbage Patch Doll. This year have refrained all that is illegal, immoral and unethical. In return, in the contract that I wrote up and presumed you would sign, it says that you must give me all I desire. So the list goes as follows: -Pages 1-5 inclusive in Sassy Sara's House of Adult Toys catalogue -Several guns( my favorite is the one Arnold uses in T2) -The back wall in The Charlottetown Liquor store at the mall

It would also be nice to have a few surprises. If you accommodate me in these respects I'll not have to take any drastic action. If you don't..well...just remember: I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

Send my love to Mrs. Claus and the reindeer LOVE and Kisses Bernadette

P.S. If you don't remember my address it can be found in the listings of Americas Most Wanted. B

Dear Santa:

I have been a very good girl this semester. well, if you don't count a few wkipped classes and one night at the Panther Lounge. anyway, I have a small list of things that I would like for Christmas.

A warm pair of mittens so that I don't get frostbite from typing my papers in the Computer Lab in Main. ~ A roll of loonies, since none of the vending machines accept twonies. A map of the access routes to the underground tunnels.’

Dear Mr. & Mrs, Claus A computer that isn't tied up with E-mail when I try to type a paper ___ In the past, there have been The ability to remember my Novell password for more than one week times when, well, I havn't been so A better photo for my student ID good. Those days have past, and I'm _ Thanks Santa! I will leave out some chocolate chip cookies for you and Rudolph sure you will be personally surprised with my comportment of late. I have _made every effort in being courteous D t and kind and nice and wonderful, — with only temporary lapses. For Christmas I would like everyone to re- Santa, my man, you may not be member the true meaning of the holiday. Itis aday aware of the harshe economic cli- when friends and family gather together in cel- mate of the 90s. Since business for ebration of the birth of Christ. Presents are nice, _you appears to be booming, I would but nothing beats the gift that God gave us on that “like to make a reasonable request: I day...sorry big fella. But your present can be to want everything. | want it all,and I help everyone remember. Thanks and Merry want it now. Christmas. - If this poses a problem with your usual slide down the chiminy Mary entrance, don't be afraid to leave a : few items on the front lawn.

Peace be to you, and to your reindeer

PRE RT