NOVEMBER 9, 2004

aioe

UPEL STURERT NEWSPAPER

managing editor Ryan Gallant copy editor Ray Keating production manager Man-Sum Yau advertising manager Matt O’ Halloran news editor Nick Stewart sports editor Liam McKenna a&e editor Alec O’ Hanley reporters Julie Bull Matt Campbell Kimberley Johnston Jamie McGuigan Steve Simpson

contributors Holly Chessman

Peter Grandy

Ryan McDermott

Jon Smith

Gus and Chet Sundance

The Cadre is the official newspaper of the UPEI! Student Union Inc. Opinions expressed in columns or letters are those of the authors and not necessari- ly that of The Cadre, its staff, or the UPEI Student Union Inc.. All materials contained herein, except advertising or where indicated otherwise, are Copyright 2004 by The Cadre and protected under Canadian Copyright laws. Materials herein may not be reprinted without the expressed written permis- sion of The Cadre.

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THE CADRE * 2

...And Now For Something Completely Different: The Rants of a University Student

Ryan Gallant Managing Editor

Well they've done it again. Americans have proven that there is no stereotyping when it comes to selecting a President of the United States. In fact, anyone can be re- elected nowadays, even if they're a total dumb ass with no concept of democratic rights and who wouldn't know a grammatically-correct sen- tence if it slapped him in the face. Yes, my good friend Dubya has been re-instated as the com- mander and chief of the most pow-

_ erful nation on the face of the earth.

Does this not scare anyone else? Well yes, of course it does. Israel and Russia were the only countries looking forward to his re-election. Hmmm... I wonder why.

This is a man who in his first four years has thrown his mili- tary all over the world, destroyed the U.S. economy beyond recogni- tion and who is partially responsi- ble for the deaths of tens of thou- sands of people. The only thing dif- ferent about this term is that this time he knows that he'll never have to face the electorate again. That's a comforting thought, isn't it? Well, the quasi-democratic federation of Russia thinks so.

Well, either way I guess it's four more years of this right-wing nutjob behind a huge-ass nuclear arsenal. Personally, I'm cheering for another pretzel.

Results aside, what the hell is wrong with that electoral system? Hint: When designing a voting sys- tem in any conventional democratic society, there should not have to be

legal intervention every damn time there's an election. I mean come on, even Belarus couldn't screw it up this bad. There are 50 states and 50 voting systems, each with their

own unique problems. Wonderful. |

Here's an idea. Forget punching cards and computerized voting and all that crap: mark an ‘X'. People who cannot read and who cannot merge in traffic can even mark an ‘*X', hell, I bet even Bush could do that.

Downtown Charlottetown. Make it your own. Ritight. Here's an interesting note about down- town Charlottetown. Can someone tell me why the Confederation Court Mall closes at 5:30 on the weekend? I mean the Charlottetown Mall is bad enough with its' prostitots and teenage rent-a-cops and Shaun Desmond wannabes, but 5:30? Come on.

grow a garden and blah blah blah, but if I don't happen to be one of the people that goes to bed at 7:30

am I supposed "make Charlottetown my own"? Jerks. I know, I sang the praises of our fair city just a few weeks ago, but those commercials are driving me nuts. And don't get me started on those parking kiosks.

_ Usher, could you please tell me what the hell a Boo is? Because your damn song with Alicia Keys is driving me insane. The kind of insanity that sends me into random fits of rage while I'm driving. And Britney, do you even know what a "prerogative" is? Can you spell it? Yeah, didn't think so. Your prerogative is to shut the hell up. Pop quiz Lloyd Banks: Spot

ees

the subordinate clause in this phrase: "...fresh out the gutter, too smooth to stutter, the cig a melt a brother like two scoops of butter." Forget that. What the hell does that mean?

Simple Plan is getting ridiculous with their frigging tor- tured soul ballads Honestly guys, what were these terribly traumatic events and oppressive obstacles that you had to overcome as four white guys growing up in the mid- dle class suburbs of Montréal? Daddy wouldn't buy you a new car and you had to go to parties in a wood-paneled station wagon? Awwww, muffin. Magic 93 is killing me.

Well, other than the trailer park being erected on campus- south and the random things that I choose to complain about, not all

___ is bad here at UPEI, nor all across And yes, I know, Charlottetown is _ this great country of ours for that

a great place to raise your kids and

matter. We have one reason to thank for this, and that is the sacri- fice of hundreds of thousands of Canadian soldiers who fought and gave their lives, and continue to do so on a daily basis, to ensure that out freedom and ideals are protect- ed. So for all you punks that I overheard this week complaining that you didn't want to wear a poppy because it was "dirty" or because you didn't want to pierce a hole in your precious jacket, suck it up and show your appreciation

_ for the men and women who gave

up their right to enjoy their youth

and to an education so that some- day we would be able to partake in those same benefits. Lest we for- get. Have a good one!

ryagallant@hotmail.com