NOVEMBER 30, 2004

EPQRERE Hews eaves

THE CADRE ¢ 2

... And Now For Something Completely

Different:

Ryan Gallant Managing Editor

- Well, it’s that time of year again. When the sight of snow turns the thoughts of young children to what they’ll be getting for Christmas (or Hanukkah). When the smell of an evergreen tree reminds grandparents of holidays of old. When the crisp morning air is broken by students asking why the hell someone built a damn fence down the middle of campus. Ah yes, final exams and term paper time at UPEl a sure sign of the holiday season, when a young student’s fancy turns from booze to books, and from partying to considering calling up someone in Bulgaria to see how much it would cost to hire an old Soviet bomber to carpet- bomb the University ($964,000).

Who needs the NHL? Ron Artest showed last week that the NBA player can incite an impromptu riot just as wellas any Tie Domior Theo Fleury. Hell, he went one step further and took the fighting to the fans. You know, someone should’ve done that years ago. They’ re paying big bucks for those games and Artest made them feel like part of the show. Bravo Ronny. A full- season suspension? Phht. Amateur. If he was Tie Domi he’d only get a game misconduct and a pay raise. Ifhe was Kobe Bryant he’d get off scot-free.

Did anyone hear about the Halifax woman that flipped out after the snow storm a few weeks ago? She barged in at a news conference at the Legislative Buildings and went on fora good five minutes in front of the camera about how Nova Scotia power has no business letting the power go out for

more than 24 hours and should make -

sure that towers don’t fall down during

storms. You know what random crazy woman? You’ reright. After all it’s their fault when we get hit with unseasonal storms with 50-odd centimetres of snow and anice blast of wind. We may as well start firing road crews for letting snow fall on the road and arresting those stupid air traffic controllers for grounding flights when the wind is too strong. Assholes. Frig, while we’re atit, why not take Peter Coade and Boomer

out back and shoot them. It’s all their

fault anyway. It’s probably also their fault that you have six kids under the age of twelve and have to deal with them all day and that you didn’t get prepared when they called for the storm right? Listen lady, you live in Nova Scotia, snow falls, power goes out. Geta life.

Well, from what I have heard and seen over the past few weeks, apparently some people do not appreciate the “anti-Americanism” in my articles. Well that’s interesting,

because I do not recall any anti- Americanism in any of my pastarticles.

Come on now. I have never said anything that would suggest that Americans are bad people that would steal candy from children or kick adorable kittens or fly halfway around the world to bomb other countries...oh wait. Seriously though, I have never said that I hated the United States of America. In fact, my sister and her family live in the US and I have no reason to believe that they are any less human than...um...Paul Allen.

Now what you may have read was something where I may have criticized the government of the United States, or took exception to the actions that the US administration has taken in the past, oh, let’s say, four years. Although many of you may be unfamiliar with differing perspectives,

The Rants of a University Student

or even unaware that they exist, these,

may I point out, are not “anti-

American” comments. They are simply

an expression of my views dealing with

the US political system. As this is an

editorial, I would assume, perhaps

wrongly so, that the average reader would take my opinion witha grain of salt, and realize that perhaps I am not trying to be an objective reporter when I say things like: “[Bush is a] right-wing nutjob behind a hugeass nuclear arsenal,” or when [jokingly suggest that he should eat more pretzels. It may surprise you, but I do not, in fact hate President Bush. In fact, I donot even know the man. I do, however, think he is the biggest moron to ever walk the face of the earth, let alone occupy the Oval Office. So no, I do not hate George W. Bush, and no, I do not hate the American people, but I do have concern for the political system in the United States, and believe it or not, being a Political Studies student, lam not just some idiot ranting my opinions by any means necessary. Ok, maybe I am, but that being said, this isa student media open to all student opinions and views. The fact that I choose to use it should neither make me the target of unbridled hate and criticism, nor should it discourage others from expressing themselves through their own submis- sions, opinionated or otherwise, to this paper.

Have a good one!

ryangallant@hotmail.com