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cattisss

CHAPTER 71.

Robert ordered the sionplest sort of dinner. I,\ preforcs, did the same. When the check came he paid it. but offered no objection after we reached home when I gave him my share.

"l wish you wouldn't act this way, Robert," I said. “You know that I smr. willing to put all we have If you earned more than I did I wouldn't feel as you do." -

"No-a woman wouidn't."

"I can't see any difference."

"Well/I can. It is no use talk- I mean just whai I say. Mean it for all time. I have despised mylself miore than you have despised me. I know that I haven't paid even my half of the expenses for some time. But now we'll ‘go it alone. I can at least fccd myself, and ‘pay for my bed.”

Robert spoke so bitterly that the tears came to my eyes. I brushoo them away. so he would not see them. But I pretended to be busy and left the room. I’ couldn't trust myself to talk any more just then. fir‘ had scarcely returned to him

‘ When I heard voices in the hall,

and than a tsp‘ on our door.

"Come in," I called, thinking it was the maid. ‘To my surprise it was Mary Ryan and Gardner Ken- YOII.

"Caught you, lazy bones!" Mary exclaimed as Robert jumped up to greet them. "The idea of liying down at 8 o'clock."

"I know it seems ridiculous, Mary but my social duties are so tiring." Robert replied, loculariy.

“We thought you might take pity on us and play bridge." Mary said after we had greeted Gardner. "Mr. Kenyon came to call, and there wasn't a blessed thing we could do but sit and lock at each other, so I suggested Ito come over here."

"What's the matter with Mary? Dost you gift of Robert queried.

"No, Robert, only laid it away

for ‘s. while until I can gab, as you call it, more correct. She flushed an she made the honest confession. "Oh, that's it! Well, I'll get the table and we'll play. You'll be my partner, and I'll forgive you if you don't talk. “He'd not forgive you if you did! I broke m. Bob was a crank when he played cards. I-Ie played all games well, and had no patience with anyone who did not pay atten- tion to the game. -

“Oh, Robert and I always get along, “Mary replied as we took our places.

It was‘ the first time I had seen Gardner since I had gotten him the invitation to Betty Weed’; party. At first I fsit a little embarrassed. I knew. and he knew, that we were becoming interested in each other before he me‘t Mary. And because she never dreamed of such u thing, she naively allowed me to know that he had been with her a good deal since then.

I played badly—s‘o badly that Ro- bert spoke of it several times. could not fix my thoughts upon the game. I knew Mary had come over purposely to lrelp me keep Robert contented for the evening. I knew also than he bad been very little dis- posed to talk or exert himself in

Y0“. gab ?"

b-s

game as a relief

It hurt me to think of this-to know that he had come to a place where ho cared nothing about chatting with mo. It had been a long time since we‘ had had any of our happy evenings together, longer than I cared. to think. He

mo of late, and when at homo nun been silent if not morose. So in- stead of playing my best, I played my worst because my mind was-up. on him.

“Ton o'clock, Gardner. We lnugl;

go after this rubber." Mary said ~— l "::t -::: __g

'4 4

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any way, and that he welcomed the .

had spent many of them away from.

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an the clock struck. She had called him ‘Gardner’ ‘so naturally that it bespoke practice. Robert was right. They were becoming very friendly.

rShe and Robert won it, and al- though I urged them to stay and let me get them something to eat they refused, Mary pleading she must get home.

"Can't you see they want a few niinutes inlupe more [than they want eats " Robert growled.

"Judging by yourself, dear?"

"Perhaps."

Ills ‘tone as he spoke the word was so peculiar it set ma thinking. Did he mean that he cared nothing about being alone with me any

more? ,

Chapter 72.

"Oh, Gerry to _think it should have happened to me!"

We were at luncheon, Mary and l, when she suddenly leaned across the table, her eyes alight, and made the above remark.

“What has happened, Mary? Something good I can tell by your face." -

"Good! Why It" is wonderful!" Thou more quietly: “Gardner wants me, Gerry, want me to marry him."

“Well, are you going to?"

"Yes, Gerry, and I am so happy I um almost frightened. I have liked him so much all the time, but he ls so much smarter, so much better educated than I um, that I don't know how he ever came to like me——no, not quite that either, but how he came to want me for his wlfe."

"I am glad for you, Mary. I do hope you will be‘ very happy," and although I sighed, I meant it. All thouhgt of any jealously of Fardner had suddenly left me. The ,sigb was because of my own unhappi- ness and the remembrance that ~I, too, had felt just Be she did W119“ Robert hari asked me to marry him-

"I only hope I can make him happy," Mary answered‘, blushing charmingly. "I am going to -try to make myself more his equal, Gerry. It would be terrible if he was to be ashamed of me afterward, wouldn't it?" . -

“The-y say love is blind, Mary."

“Before folks are married. per- haps, 33m when they get used to each other, used to the love. I guess they begirrto see. Leastways it looks that way to me."

"Don't worry aJbout the future, just be as happy as you can," I told her. ‘I-"could not help the thoulilll- that perhaps her happiness, like mine, wouldn't last."

“Thinking of whnt I can do, and then trying to do ‘it, isn't worrying. Gardner goes to some sort of 8- club two nights a week. I am Zoing to have an English teacher those two nights to learn me t0 £81k 110i‘- rectz" I "Say correctly, Mary."

"There, you see! I knew some- thing ailpd that word» lt din't sound right, but for’ tho life of me I couldn't tell what it was. ‘It's that way with iota of things ain't it, Gerry? We know they are some- way out of gear. but can't. toll oxacfly whnt ails them."

"‘I guess so." When ‘Mary star- ted moraliziug I usuilly paid very little attention. - _ .

"Mary and Gnrdnor-Hf6-flfl8889d.'=' Itold Robert that nlglu when I got home.

"I'm not surprised. Kenyon would have been a fool io have let that girl get away from him."

"You seem wonderfully fond 0f Mary lately."

“No more than I always have been but I ncvor knew her flood qualities until now. What a wife and ruotlmr she will make."

"Hold on thcre, Robert! Aren't you going lvotty fast. They aren't married‘ yet, you know, and there's many a slip. otc."

"I don't believe there will be any slip up there. Kenyon saw at once the sort of homey "girl Mary was That fetched him. I-Ie told mo. that night he was sick to death of board- ing houses, clubs and hotels. Guess he was ready for‘ a home and look- lng for the right girl."

"Don't take all the romance out of it, Robert, To hear you talk one would think all Gardner wants

was n housekeeper snd married be- _ . cause‘ it was cheaper to have a wife

keep house than to hire one."

"Oh, he's in love with hcr all right and she just adores him. Any- one can see that."

"Yes-when I said I hoped she would be happy, she told ms sire only hoped to make him happy Mary is very unselfish. I hope she won't regret marrying him. She seems to fear her lack of education will be a stumbiiil! llmck- She is going to tutor two evenings a week." i

"Good for Mary! Although I don't suppose Kenyon would care so very much if she didn't talk correctly if she made him comfortable. Come on, we've discussed Mari’ 1°"! enough. I am going out to est. Want to coma, or shall you take your dinner‘ with the rest of tire homeless ones-in , Mrs. Lanes dining room?"

"I'm coming of course!" His ‘sneer about the ‘homeless ones’. had hurt me. Also I knew I must make some sort of an arrangement with Mrs, Lane, if Robert were 80in! to insist upon taking hi; mesia out.

We coudn't afford to psy in W" places." -

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REFLECTIONS

CHAPTER 73.

I talked with Mrs. Lane. Pfe- ‘tending to tako her into my con- ildencc, so that she would break her rule and allow us to retain our room without ‘board. I felt rather small at being obliged to use a. subterfuge, but reasoned that it would be but for n short time.

"Mr. Meredith hasn't been well since his accident," I oxpianed, "and he is so restless that I think it would be bcttcr for him to have a little change of some kind. His appetite. too, is poor, and we think that if he went out to his meals to different places‘ for u time. it would perhail! b9 b91191‘. for him." I considered that “we" rather a good idea. M-rs. Lane might take it I meant the doctor.

She did. And was really very nice about it.

"Certainly, Mrs. Meredith; I have no objections for a short time. Of course I could not do it as a permanent thing. That room would not bring in enough if I let it without board."

"Thank you. I expect he will ‘be feeling more himself after a bit." I had accomplished ~my' errand, had reduced our expenses for the present-fl wouldn't cross any other bridge until I came i0 it.

I then arranged that we were to have our breakfasts in our room, another concess from her rules that, except in case of sickness. no meals were to be carried to the rooms. ‘but I cf- ifered to pay her extra, as wall as putting the request upon the ground of Robert's health.

Even now that I bud it all ranged, I knew our expenses would be greater. While we paid a fairly good amount for board. it would not begin to cover the expense ofeating in a restaur- ant. ' I would have to manage very carefully if" we were to . be at all social, have anything loft with which to entertain our friends, or go to any places" of amusement.

As I looked back, it seemed .to me that after the, first few weeks of my married lifeI had been constantly confronted with some sort of problem. I, wondered -if‘ail married _women were so troubled, and wished Iknew someone older, someone with more experience, to advise me.

Occasionally.) I recalled things

ill‘-

Maryh-ad saidbefore, and after we were first married-how she had" said sheknew people ‘ who were tied, and who wished they

was untied," And my answer:

' "There are lots" of happy mar- ried people," I- hail said to her “you have been unfortunate in knowing tho unhappy ones If folks are really liapPY no one

over hours anything about fhcm. Brit if they are not; everyone sccms to know if." _

I had made up my mind that if over Ilwfkftfllfthuppy, no one should know of it. and yet I had not boon strong enough, . self-suf- ficient enough to adhere to my ‘determination. I had lifted the viol to let Maryhavs a peep info tho unhappiness that bad grad- ualy stolen upon me.

She had warned mo that l would bc up against many things, as she expressed it. I had often smiled us I recalled her speech about o. little frilly apron that mudo a woman look like a domes- tic vlllfll, meaning more to a man than marcelled hair and stylish clothes. I had forgotten all these sayings of lit-rs. or thought I li-id, but lately they were constantly recurring and making me wonder whether she could bo in any possi- bility have been right‘ in her promise; that man would rather have wimt he wanted to sat, warnrsiippers and rt wile with

7.

an apron, than a wife who could bold her own in the business world, but who knew nothing of domestic affairs.

I had felt that Robert was a bit oueeidod. that he did not take ‘into account the pride ‘I had in my ability to earn-or my success in the business. I knew be didn't quite sense the fact that s. busi- ness womnn'e‘ outlook was identi- cally the same as a business man's point of view. I had tried long ago to make him understand this but had failed.

Now I recalled, too, the first time I had seen Robert the slight- est bit under the influence of liquor. his excuse:

"I was lonely. Gerry- 9b I wont out when you.didrr_'t show up. I ra into some fellows and well — y know the rest." That "I was lonely, Gerry," had haunted me for a time. But that could not have been his excuse this last ‘time he had indulged. I had been got. ting home early for a long time. Could it be that he was tired of me, had ceased to love me, and - rro! I wouldn't even think such a thins. It wasn't fair to him, nor w IHYBBII. Hlldifi. I lllwayg dong the very best I could in every way’!

UNGERTAINTY CHAPTER 74.

I realized that

woman could not her bust socially. I was often so tired I scarcely could drag my- self-home and once there would have liked to flop down on the couch as I formerly had often

a business always be at

done, and_remain there all the evening, utterly relaxed. But I never had "allowed myself that

luxury. I knew that Robert was" sensitrlvc—foolishly, I thought -on the subject. He wanted me to be as gay-or to act so at least— as the other women we knew, who lived quietly at home; or he blamed my being in business for my lack. ‘ Really, when I thought things Over. it seemed tome that Rob- ert had blevmed my beilng a busi- ncsg woman for everything dia- agreeable that had happened, and itwas unfair of'lrim. I never

had no real arrangement, which- ever one had money with them at a iiime it had been needed, had paid ihe bills. Before Robert lost his" good position, even when he went with Guiding and did not earn quite so much, he had paid room and board. dent, of course. I had paid for everything. But I had not dis- cussed it, not been at all obvicu

about it. ‘

Robert had lost faith in him- self. '

That was the way I thought of his failure to make good ill) busi- ness as" he had given every prom- iso he would when we were mar- ried. I must do something to give‘ lulm back that faith-but what

.Na.turall,yi. I predicted either his success or failure upon the salary he received. I-Ie had been earning‘ $40 a week soon after we were married. Now he got $20~jusf half. When one thought

a very good" position nowadays, and one which gave a man a good standing.

‘It may seem strange that as my disappointment in Robert in- creased, my love for him grcw also. But it was‘ a different sort of love. Pride in his achievement was gone, and in its place a sort of mothering that real mothers often give incapable children. had come. I felt a certain care of him, instead of a dependence upon him. ‘

There was one thing I. didn't then understand. Now I know it was because I didn't bring my common sense to bear upon it.